


My Favorite Mistake

by wildlingoftarth



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Babyfic, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Kidfic, One Night Stands, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unprotected Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:22:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 47,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23635285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildlingoftarth/pseuds/wildlingoftarth
Summary: An uncharacteristic irresponsible decision on vacation changes Brienne's life...not once, but twice.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 826
Kudos: 863





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I usually don’t like when J&B meet and instantly hop into bed together, because the enemies to lovers aspect is my favorite part of their relationship, but it needed to happen in this fic for ~plot reasons~ so… ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Brienne leaned back carefully in the flimsy plastic beach chair, closed her eyes and let the breeze off the Bay of Essos riffle through her hair. The sound of people laughing and chattering and the _ping-pong-ping_ of the steel drum band wafted over to where she sat.

She’d been a tough sell when Sansa and Margaery had suggested stopping over in Lys before returning to Westeros, but it turned out to be just what she needed after a grueling two-year deployment with the Humanitarian Corps.

Though working with victims of human trafficking in Meereen had been incredibly rewarding, the mental, emotional and physical exhaustion had begun to take its toll in the last few months.

Lys was an up-and-coming vacation destination, but was still quite under the radar, thus allowing them to spend a week there on their paltry stipend from the Humanitarian Corps. There was one resort and one hostel on the island, and although the resort was out of their price range, it still allowed hostel guests to use its pool and visit its beach bar. The bar was really just a glorified shack, made a popular destination by the colorful lights and hammocks strung up between the palms and the dangerously strong drinks.

That was how Brienne came to be on this particular beach on this particular night, long fingers wrapped around a cold plastic cup containing something called a “Painkiller.”

She opened her eyes and looked toward the bar, where a small group of beachgoers had begun an impromptu dance party in front of the band. Among them were Sansa and Margaery, who weren’t so much dancing as dry-humping standing up. She shook her head and smiled.

Brienne and Sansa had met their freshman year at Winterfell University when they were paired together for a project in a class. Though they’d chafed against each other at first, for all their differences, they ended up developing a close friendship and lived together for the next three years.

Brienne was surprised that Sansa immediately agreed to her suggestion of joining the Humanitarian Corps after graduation. Brienne had always wanted to travel, and the thought of going right to grad school had become less and less appealing the closer she got to graduation. She never actually thought her prim and pampered friend would be up for it.

Nevertheless, they’d taken a leap of faith and signed up, and were fortunate enough to have been deployed together to Meereen. There they served with a wonderful group of Corps members, among them Margaery, who’d just graduated from Highgarden University.

The three of them had hit it off immediately, but Sansa and Margaery’s relationship had bloomed into something more entirely. Brienne was thrilled that Sansa had met such a perfect match and only slightly shocked that it ended up being a woman, but couldn’t help the slight twinge of jealousy she felt.

Since her relationship with Hyle had ended halfway through her senior year of college, she’d genuinely enjoyed being single, and gods know she wouldn’t have been able to sustain a long-distance relationship in Meereen. But lately she’d been lamenting the fact that, besides her father, Brienne had no one to go back to in Westeros. She hoped that grad school would keep her busy enough that she wouldn’t even notice the loneliness.

She pushed the dark thought out of her head and stood up to join her friends, adjusting her sarong around her hips as she walked. Her hair had grown while in Meereen and now brushed the tops of her shoulders, the sun and saltwater bringing out its natural wave, and her skin had actually browned after an initial adjustment period of constant sunburns. The royal blue, deep V-neck swimsuit Sansa had insisted she buy was much more revealing than anything she would normally wear, but the free and easy atmosphere of Lys, not to mention the drinks, had relaxed her to the point of _almost_ not caring.

Brienne drained her cup and strode over to where Sansa and Margaery were now twirling each other around in a circle, giggling exuberantly. They shrieked and held out their hands to her when they saw her approaching, enveloping her in a group hug that made her feel even warmer inside than the alcohol.

The beat of the steel drum band carried her away, and she closed her eyes and raised her hands above her head, gyrating her hips to the seductive rhythm. Brienne didn’t allow herself to dance in public very frequently, despite her love for it, so letting herself go like this was a rare treat.

After working up a thirst, she made her way to the bar, ordered another Painkiller (her last for the night, she told herself), and turned to rest her elbows against the counter, crossing her long legs in front of her. She turned her head and noticed a man leaning insouciantly against the bar, half in shadow, staring in her direction. Figuring he was looking at someone behind her, she turned back and took a long swig of her drink.

Against her better judgment, Brienne looked again at him, and this time he moved out of the shadows and toward her. She tried not to audibly gasp as his face came into view – he was easily the most beautiful man she’d ever seen, all sharp lines and bronzed skin and golden hair. With his printed swim shorts and unbuttoned yellow shirt, he looked as though he just walked out of a goddamn magazine ad. He moved with leonine grace, sauntering toward her with a look in his eyes akin to a hunter stalking its prey.

Brienne was familiar with that look – it always came from people who easily found the chinks in her armor and stuck their barbs in without a thought to her feelings. She stood up to her full height, squared her shoulders and looked straight into his eyes, bracing herself for the inevitable insult that was about to be thrown her way.

“I saw you dancing out there with your friends,” he said with a deep honeyed voice, gesturing toward the crowd. Ah, so that was it. He was using her to get in with Sansa or Margaery (or was hoping to try his luck with both).

Brienne scoffed bitterly. “You’re barking up the wrong tree there. They’re not interested in your…equipment,” she said as she flicked her eyes down his body, trying not to pause too long on the expanse of toned muscle bared by his unbuttoned shirt.

He looked over toward the dance floor, where Sansa and Margaery were now trying their best to suck each other’s faces off, and raised an eyebrow, then turned back to Brienne. Her skin prickled as he swept his gaze up and down, lingering on her legs. “Cute, but if I wanted to talk to them, I would talk to them. You’re…very tall,” he commented, still flaying Brienne with his eyes.

“And you’re very observant,” Brienne said, befuddled. This man didn’t seem to be japing with her, but maybe she’d just had one too many drinks? Between the buzzing in her head and the warmth in her belly, she was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to get as far away from him as possible.

She muttered, “I need to get back out there,” at the same time he asked, “Can I buy you a drink?”

She held up her Painkiller and called, “Already have one, thanks,” over her shoulder as she fled. The man leaned against the counter with his arms crossed, looking puzzled yet somewhat amused.

Her friends’ eyes were wide when she reached them again. Margaery squeezed her arm and pulled her in. “Bri! What was that guy saying to you?”

Sansa grabbed her other arm, effectively trapping her between them. “He looked like he wanted to eat you!”

“Uh…” Brienne stuttered. “He said I was tall and offered to buy me a drink. I told him I already had one and ran away.” It sounded even stupider than it felt when she’d done it.

“BRIENNE!” Sansa gasped. “A super-hot guy tries to chat you up and you just run away? I didn’t take you for a coward!”

“I’m not a coward! That’s just the thing, he’s TOO hot. Look at him!” Sansa and Margaery’s heads whipped conspicuously toward the bar, causing Brienne to hiss, “I mean DON’T LOOK AT HIM! There is no way a guy like that is into me.” She gestured down her body to illustrate her point.

Margaery crossed her arms and glared. “Brienne. How many times have I told you I would gladly climb you like a tree?”

Brienne laughed despite herself. “Too many times to count.”

“Just because you’re not cute and dainty doesn’t mean people won’t find you attractive. He clearly does,” she gestured toward the bar, where the man was still watching them, bemused.

“And besides,” Sansa said, grabbing Brienne’s drink and dumping it unceremoniously in the sand. “You do need another drink.” She smirked, looking much too pleased with herself.

Brienne gawped at her. “I can’t believe you just did that!”

“Thank me later!” she called as she placed a hand in the middle of Brienne’s back and shoved her in the direction of the bar.

She stumbled over her feet and came to a stop right in front of him, straightening up and adjusting her sarong. She cleared her throat and tried to keep her voice strong, even as his green stare pierced into her soul. “Turns out I do need another drink.”

He flashed her a grin so blinding she almost had to shield her eyes. “Fantastic.” He held up two fingers to the bartender, then turned back to her. “I’m Jaime, by the way.”

“Brienne,” she replied, his demeanor relaxing her slightly.

“Brienne,” he repeated, curling her name around his tongue. Her heart fluttered in her chest, and she chided herself internally for somehow getting hot and bothered by a man simply saying her name. Although, she’d never seen a man like this, and had never heard her name said like _that_.

She thanked the gods when their drinks arrived so she’d have something to do with her hands other than run them up and down his chest like she wanted to. Jaime – so that was his name – handed her a drink and held up his cup, touching the rim to hers. He held her gaze as they drank, making Brienne’s face flush.

He licked his lips and purred, “So, what brings you to Lys, Brienne?”

The combination of Jaime’s face so close to hers, Jaime’s face in general, her slight buzz, and the charged atmosphere made it difficult for Brienne to form words, but she managed to spit out, “I’m on my way back from a Humanitarian Corps mission in Meereen.”

He raised his eyebrows, either surprised or impressed (or a combination of the two). “Ah, a do-gooder.”

She chuckled. “Just me trying to put off grad school.”

“Don’t downplay it. That’s a big commitment for someone so young. What are you going to grad school for?”

Brienne smiled and her posture relaxed, feeling much more comfortable discussing as banal a topic as grad school. “History. I want to be a university professor someday.”

They talked a little more, Brienne amazed at how easy the conversation was with someone so preternaturally handsome, but he asked questions and showed interest and actually seemed to be listening to her.

She was so engrossed in the conversation, not to mention his intense green eyes, that she forgot all about Margaery and Sansa until they were at her elbow, arms around each other’s necks, swaying with eyes half closed. “Bri,” Sansa slurred, “we’re going back. You ok here or you want to come with us?”

Brienne looked at Jaime, who was leaning on the bar with a half-smile on his face, and back at Sansa. The hostel was only steps away, and she felt confident in her ability to fight this man off it if came to that, so she replied, “I’m good here. You be careful getting back.”

Sansa and Margaery sandwiched her with kisses on each cheek before stumbling up the beach toward the hostel. She turned back to Jaime, who seemed to have moved even closer in the last few minutes. Their eyes met, and she involuntarily sucked in a breath, lips parting slightly.

His eyes flicked down to her mouth and she could have sworn he was going to kiss her, but he looked back up and said, “I can walk you back later. I promise to be the consummate gentleman.” He leaned closer to her and all but growled in her ear, “if you want me to be.”

She wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol, the location, or the fact that she was leaving in the morning and would never see this man again, but a sudden rush of bravery swelled up inside her. She leaned close and whispered back, “what if I don’t want you to be?”

Jaime inhaled sharply, followed by a soft chuckle. Brienne shivered as his fingers moved from the bar to her forearm, skating up her biceps to the curve of her neck. He tilted his head and licked his top lip, green eyes piercing into hers, but waited for her to close the distance.

Brienne obliged, using some of that unexpected bravery to bring her mouth to his. His lips were warm and soft, and when their tongues touched, a jolt of heat coursed through her body. She grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him closer, opening her mouth to him, inviting his tongue deeper.

Brienne had been kissed before, of course, but never like this. Jaime kissed as if it was the main course instead of an appetizer, taking his time, exploring every surface of her mouth with his lips and tongue and teeth. Brienne marveled at the way they seemed to fit together – because they were just about the same height, neither of them had to crick their necks or stand on tiptoes for their mouths to line up perfectly.

His hands roamed along her neck and back, fingertips tracing the line of her spine. Brienne scratched her short nails along his scalp and savored the soft moan that resulted. Heat pooled low in her belly and moved steadily downward, settling firmly between her thighs.

When he sucked her bottom lip into his mouth and Brienne’s leg began creeping up the outside of his thigh, she suddenly remembered they were in public and broke away from him. He was panting, his eyes wide and dark, lips swollen and pink, and Brienne somehow fought the urge to tackle him to the sand. Instead, she took his hand and led him away from the bar.

“Where are you taking me?” he asked, low and husky, but with an edge of laughter.

“You’re taking me back to your room. I assume you’re staying at the resort?” The nonchalance in her voice surprised her, seeing as how she was equal parts giddy and terrified to be walking toward her first one-night stand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beach bar is inspired by the Soggy Dollar in the British Virgin Islands, home of the Painkiller, which is indeed a dangerous drink.
> 
> You know the [swim shorts and yellow shirt.](https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F480618591457375906%2F&psig=AOvVaw1nnlKPgMdAPAtvSTLo4OeJ&ust=1586890909413000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCPCvlbqL5ugCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahoy! 💦🛥⚓

Brienne decided there must have been something in the Lyseni air that made people uncharacteristically bold, but she couldn’t bring herself to care much when the sexiest man she’d ever seen had her by the hand and was leading her to his room.

Her heart pounded with a combination of arousal and apprehension as he walked her through the resort lobby and to the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, before she could even register what was happening, he was on her again, pushing her back against the wall and kissing her breathless. His hands cupped her face, his thumbs caressing her jawline, while hers splayed against his back to pull him closer. A little noise escaped her when she felt him already hard against her thigh, and he smiled against her mouth.

The fear of someone seeing them if the doors opened normally would have horrified her, but right now it turned her on even more, and by the time they opened to his floor, she was practically trembling with want.

Jaime pulled away from her and took her hand once again, taking strides so long she practically had to run to keep up with him. A shockingly girlish giggle bubbled from her lips, and she lifted a hand to her mouth to stifle it. Jaime looked back at her with that same blinding grin from earlier, which made her embarrassment and anxiety melt away.

He slid his key card into the lock and swung the door open, moving aside to let her enter first. She shivered as he lightly placed a hand at her lower back to guide her inside. The _thunk_ and _click_ of the door closing and locking were deafening in the silent room, and then, they were alone.

Instantly, his arm snaked around her waist, and his mouth was hot and insistent against her neck. “Do you want a drink?” he breathed against her skin, and she almost laughed before declining. If he thought she was here for a drink, she’d clearly not made her intentions obvious enough.

She turned and slid her hands into his shirt, up his firm chest and around to the back of his neck, and pressed her lips to his in a passionate kiss. A small moan escaped him, and he moved his hands from the small of her back down to her ass and gave it a few firm yet gentle squeezes.

They moved farther into the room, Brienne taking steps backward as Jaime walked forward, until the backs of Brienne’s knees hit the bed. She fell onto the mattress and pulled Jaime on top of her, both of them chuckling as his body weight temporarily knocked the wind out of her.

Jaime’s mouth moved from her lips down to her jaw, her throat, her collarbone, while his fingers fumbled with the string behind her neck. He untied it with one swift pull and peeled her swimsuit down her torso, his mouth never leaving her skin. She gasped and arched into him when his tongue brushed over her already-peaked nipple.

Every touch sent another rush of blood between her legs, and by the time he pulled her swimsuit down all the way, she was writhing and bucking her hips toward him like a woman much more comfortable with her sexuality.

Brienne’s nakedness, surprisingly, didn’t bother her, but she _was_ bothered by him still being fully clothed. She sat up and tugged his shirt down off his shoulders, exposing a set of shoulders and biceps that could have been carved by the gods. She ran her hands over his chest, drawing a groan from him when she scratched her nails down his stomach to the waistband of his shorts.

She hooked two fingers into them and pulled down, his cock springing free to jut out hard and thick. Jaime’s moan when she wrapped her hand around him and stroked gently shot straight to her cunt, and she slid her hands up to his shoulders and pulled him on top of her.

His feverish skin pressing against hers and his weight pushing her into the bed felt sinful and somehow _right_ at the same time. Their tongues tangled, hands roaming each other’s bodies. When Jaime slid a hand between her thighs and found her slick and swollen, any embarrassment or nervousness she might have felt gave way to pure pulsating _want_.

They laid back on the bed and continued kissing and touching, the frantic tempo of their walk here slowing into a more leisurely pace. Brienne gasped, more in surprise than anything else, when Jaime moved down the bed and settled on his knees between her thighs.

Although she had zero experience with one-night stands, she was pretty sure they usually didn’t include _that_ , but the low, rumbling voice in which he said, “may I taste you, Brienne?” emptied her mind of any uncertainty. She gave him a nod and then yelped as Jaime delved his head between her legs, licking and sucking with fervor, only pausing to comment on how good she tasted or to make a variety of salacious noises. The rasp of his stubble on her soft inner thighs and the swirl of his tongue on her clit pushed her to the edge in what felt like seconds.

Brienne’s peak came on like a freight train, hard and fast and loud, her fingers tangling in his hair and hips bucking off the bed as Jaime continued his ministrations. She finally had to push his head away, and he chuckled before making his way back up the bed. She lifted her leaden arms and pulled him toward her, tasting herself on his mouth.

Despite having just had the most intense orgasm of her life, she still ached for more. This new, bold Brienne took her desire into her own hands, quite literally, and reached for Jaime’s cock. She stroked up and down its hard length, tugging gently until his hips were positioned between her thighs.

At that moment, she wasn’t thinking about how she’d never even _kissed_ someone she barely knew. She wasn’t thinking about the fact that she had only sporadically taken birth control since she’d been in Meereen, or that she didn’t even know this man’s last name, let alone where he’d been. All she thought about was the _want_ throbbing between her legs and clouding her judgment. 

Brienne’s heart pounded when her eyes met Jaime’s, black and shining in the moonlight. He kissed her, surprisingly tender, and asked, “are you sure?” with his forehead pressed against hers.

“Yes,” she breathed, digging her fingers into his shoulder blades as he slid inside her. Her legs wrapped around his waist, heels pressed into his lower back, urging him deeper. Their moans and gasps mingled in the air as Jaime thrust in and out of her in a delicious rhythm, Brienne rolling her hips up to meet him.

The feel of him filling her completely, brushing some long-forgotten spot inside her, caused another peak to build and build until she shattered again, clenching around him and crying out his name. His hips stuttered and he roared his release into her neck, pulling out with just enough time to spill onto her inner thighs.

He collapsed on top of her with a deep exhale, his head falling onto her chest. Brienne’s heart continued pounding as she swept a hand up and down his spine through the sheen of sweat gathered there.

“Seven hells. You’re amazing,” he rasped, which made her chuckle, mostly in bewilderment. She was tempted to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

They laid there until their breaths and heartbeats normalized, then Jaime rolled off her and went into the bathroom, returning with a wet washcloth. If she was surprised at this amount of thoughtfulness, she was downright shocked when he lowered it to her thighs and began gently cleaning her up.

“Thanks,” she said rather breathlessly, shuddering as the cloth swiped over the extra-sensitive area. He looked up at her and grinned, then walked back to the bathroom. No, not walked. _Swaggered_. She couldn’t take her eyes off his lean, muscular body, and was once again blown away that _he_ had wanted _her_. Even if for one night.

While he cleaned up, Brienne swung her legs over the side of the bed and began gathering her clothing – her swimsuit was in a ball at the foot of the bed and her sarong, which she didn’t even remember removing, had been discarded just inside the door.

She was stepping back into her swimsuit when Jaime came out, still naked as his nameday, and cocked his head at her. She could almost imagine disappointment on his face when he said, “leaving so soon?”

Brienne paused with her swimsuit at her waist, mouth opening and closing, before finally stuttering, “Oh–I wasn’t sure if–I didn’t know–”

Jaime cut her off. “I can’t let you think that’s the best I can do,” he said with a sharp smile before stalking toward her.

“That was…that was good.” Brienne resisted the urge to back away from him, instead releasing the straps of her swimsuit where she held them at her waist and standing up a little straighter. Her nipples pebbled despite the warm, humid air.

Jaime stopped in front of her, encircled her waist with his hands and steered her toward the wall, stopping when her back bumped up against it. He leaned in close and whispered, “I want to fuck you against this wall. On the floor. In the shower,” punctuating his suggestions with obscene open-mouth kisses to her neck and jaw.

Brienne’s body was instantly amenable, judging by the way her hips were bucking against him of their own accord, and her brain followed seconds later. She grabbed his face and planted a sloppy, desperate kiss on his mouth, allowing him to pull her swimsuit back down. She kicked it off and hitched her leg up over his hip. She never thought herself to be the type of woman who got fucked against walls, but Jaime’s rapidly hardening cock convinced her otherwise.

One of his hands slid under her thigh and the other positioned himself at her entrance, pushing inside her with one long stroke. For possibly the first time, she thanked the gods for her height, as it lined them up perfectly with no crouching or standing on toes necessary.

Brienne’s head fell back against the wall as Jaime undulated his hips, not so much thrusting as grinding slowly against her, his pubic bone rubbing just so against her clit. Her fingernails dug into his lower back, the twinge of pain making him groan into her neck. When Brienne’s leg began to shake, he started thrusting in earnest, deep and fast, and it was all she could do to remain standing when yet another orgasm hit.

She was still clenching around him when Jaime threw his head back and moaned, pulling out and coming onto her stomach with a shudder. Brienne lowered her leg and relished in the feeling of Jaime’s body weight pressing her into the wall, keeping her upright on trembling limbs.

Jaime sucked in a deep breath against her collarbone and looked down at the mess on her stomach. He pulled back to gaze at her through hooded eyelids and gave her another one of those wicked smiles. “How about that shower?”

* * *

Brienne startled awake at the ungodly-early buzzing of her phone alarm, then startled further at the sensation of a warm, heavy arm slung over her stomach. Her head pounded, eyes felt like sandpaper, and mouth was dry as the Red Waste. She glimpsed a shock of golden hair on the pillow next to hers and everything came flooding back – meeting Jaime at the bar, going back to his hotel, him making good on his promise to fuck her in every corner of the room, and trying to keep track of the number of times she came but losing count at around seven.

The skin of her neck and inner thighs burned from the abrasion of his beard, her hips ached, and her whole body felt slightly sticky. Despite all that, she couldn’t bring herself to regret it – it was, by far, the best sex she’d ever had, and it felt good to be a little bad for once in her life.

One thing she _didn’t_ want was an awkward goodbye, so she slowly and carefully wriggled out from under Jaime’s arm and tiptoed to the bathroom, collecting her clothing along the way. She dressed quickly and made her way to the door, looking back once to see Jaime still snoring softly, the sheet around his waist exposing his muscled, tanned back.

She briefly considered leaving her number or email, but decided against it – they both knew what this was from the beginning, and besides, he’d inevitably be disappointed without the haze of the tropical paradise clouding his vision.

Silently thanking the gods that it was early enough for no one to see her padding barefoot out of his room and through the resort lobby, she made her way back to the hostel, where Sansa and Margaery were packing their suitcases. They dropped the clothes in their hands immediately and descended upon Brienne, congratulating her and demanding “all the horny details,” in Sansa’s words.

Brienne promised she’d tell them all about it after she got packed and her hangover subsided, but once they got on the plane, they all promptly fell asleep on each other’s shoulders for the entire three-hour ride back to King’s Landing. After tearful goodbyes to Margaery and promises to visit each other as soon as possible, Brienne and Sansa boarded another plane, back to Winterfell and back to real life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh I struggled mightily with this chapter because I couldn't figure out why Brienne would make such an uncharacteristic decision to have unprotected sex with a man she just met...but then I decided that sometimes being bad just feels good, especially when you've been good your whole life 🤷🏼♀️
> 
> Also, Brienne is slightly buzzed here but definitely sober enough to be able to consent.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne deals with the consequences of her actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There won't be any more smut for a while, FYI.

Two months and six days later

Brienne pressed her cheek to the tile of the bathroom floor, thankful for the cold, smooth contrast to her flushed face. Her knees hurt from prostrating herself in front of the toilet for the past hour, her body ached from expelling all the contents of her stomach, and her throat burned despite the constant sips of cold water she drank.

She silently cursed Sansa for suggesting that sketchy-looking Tyroshi buffet for dinner last night, and cursed herself for eating so much. She’d just been so _hungry_ lately, at least on nights when she didn’t fall asleep before dinner. She’d been meaning to schedule a doctor’s appointment ever since they got back from Lys, assuming she’d picked up an illness that was making her feel especially worn down, but starting grad school and teaching two freshman lecture classes immediately after coming back had her too busy to think about anything else.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock. “Bri?” Sansa’s concerned voice came through the door. “Can I come in?”

Brienne hadn’t vomited for a few minutes, so she reached up and turned the door handle. Sansa came in and immediately kneeled beside her, petting her head like she was a frightened animal. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“I think it was the Tyroshi,” Brienne groaned, leaning back heavily against the wall.

Sansa’s face twisted in confusion. “I ate all the same things as you and I’m fine…are you sure it’s not something else?”

“Ugh, I don’t know. I’ve been feeling shitty ever since we got back from Lys. Must have picked up a bug or something.”

Sansa hesitated. “Bri…when’s the last time you had your period?”

Brienne frowned at her friend. “I don’t know–it’s never been regular, and it pretty much stopped in Meereen from the stress…why?”

“It’s just…didn’t you have sex in Lys? And you said you didn’t use a condom…”

Brienne’s face blazed red. She still couldn’t believe she’d let herself get so carried away in the heat of the moment, and a new wave of nausea overtook her, but she was able to breathe through it.

“Are you saying this could be an STI?” Brienne began to feel slightly panicky. She hadn’t even considered the possibility.

“That, or…you could be pregnant. You’ve been acting an awful lot like my mom when she was pregnant with Rickon.”

More panic. Her heart raced, hands trembled. She shook her head violently, then winced when a stab of pain shot through her temples. “No. No, I couldn’t be. He pulled out every time.” At least, she thought he did – but the night became more of a blur the more time had passed.

Sansa grabbed Brienne’s hand. She took on that motherly, yet slightly condescending tone she used when talking to one of her kindergarten students. “You know it’s a possibility. Do you want me to go get you a test?”

Brienne leaned against the wall and shut her eyes. Her head spun. What if she was pregnant? What would she do?

She decided it was better to know now than to wait any longer and make herself sicker with worry, so she nodded.

Half an hour later, she sat on the toilet with a pregnancy test in hand. She’d thought occasionally about becoming a mother in an abstract way – seeing a pregnant woman and wondering what her own body would look like while growing a life; watching Catelyn with her kids and considering what kind of mother she herself would be, if given the opportunity.

Now, faced with the very real possibility of becoming one, her head spun and stomach roiled. She took a deep breath and placed the test underneath her, emptied her bladder, and replaced the plastic cap on the stick. Then she set it down, left the bathroom, and waited. For what felt like an hour, though it was only three minutes.

When her phone alarm finally rang, her body was trembling so violently she didn’t think she’d be able to hold the stick still enough to see the results. She found Sansa in her bedroom. “I can’t do it. I can’t look. Will you?”

“Of course.” Sansa went into the bathroom while Brienne sat on Sansa’s bed, head between her knees.

She heard footsteps and felt the bed depress next to her as Sansa sat, then a warm hand rested on her back. “Let me hear it,” Brienne said without lifting her head.

Sansa’s fingers tightened on her back. She took a deep breath. “It’s positive.”

Brienne’s heart hammered against her chest. Her head swam and limbs tingled. She was sure that if she’d been standing up, she would have fainted. She forced herself to try and breathe normally, staving off the panic attack that was threatening to creep up on her. She was distantly aware of Sansa muttering comforting words, but her head was buzzing so loud she could barely hear them. 

After a few minutes, Brienne sat up and stared straight ahead. Inexplicably, she felt a hysterical laugh bubble up from deep in her belly, and she threw her head back and let it erupt out of her. It just figured – an entire life of being the good girl, the responsible student, the dutiful daughter, and ONE night of carelessness was about to change her life forever, no matter what she decided. She thought about women who slept around for years and never got pregnant, and women who wanted desperately to get pregnant but couldn’t. It was all so unfair.

Her frenzied laughter soon turned into big, wracking sobs, and she leaned heavily on Sansa’s shoulder and let it pour out. Sansa wrapped her arms around Brienne and squeezed tight, allowing her tears to soak her shirt to the skin.

After a few minutes, Brienne’s sobs quieted to hiccups and eventually subsided altogether. She took a few cleansing breaths and felt lighter, less panicked, and more clearheaded. Sansa voiced the question Brienne had been mulling over in her mind ever since she got the result. “What are you going to do?”

Brienne considered her situation. She was a mature 24 with a college degree and job prospects even without a Master’s. Her father had always been supportive and understanding, although she wasn’t sure if his support would extend quite this far. If not, the Starks were like a second family, and Sansa was definitely the best friend she’d ever had, so she was sure she wouldn’t have to go through this alone.

On the other hand, she had zero experience with babies and would be a young single mother in a world that generally looked down on them. She would most likely have to put her dream of being a university professor on hold, and she had no idea how much raising a child would actually cost and whether a teacher’s salary would support them.

She looked at Sansa and answered truthfully. “I don’t know.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne settles into her new life.

Seven months later

Brienne’s son arrived in the early morning hours of a beautiful spring day, pink and wrinkled and squalling, with the faintest dusting of white-blonde hair and cloudy blue-gray eyes. She named him Duncan Galladon – Duncan after the legendary Kingsguard knight and rumored Tarth ancestor Duncan the Tall, and Galladon after both the Perfect Knight of Morne and Brienne’s beloved late brother. A Tarth name through and through.

Her father had been with her in the hospital room the whole time, rubbing her back and holding her hand through contractions, until she unceremoniously kicked him out when it came time to push. As soon as the baby was out, he was at her side again, tears in his eyes and camera at the ready.

When she first told him she was pregnant, Selwyn had been initially disappointed and confused as to how his perfect daughter could have ended up in this position. She told him the father was someone she met in Meereen with whom things didn’t work out. Never one to be too involved in his daughter’s romantic life, he didn’t ask her to elaborate, for which Brienne was grateful.

Before that, deciding whether or not to keep the baby had been more complicated. Brienne was 100 percent pro-choice where other people were concerned, and knew what she would have done had she been in this situation at 16 or 18 or even 21. But now that she was older and in a relatively stable place in her life, it wasn’t so obvious.

Brienne wasn’t a religious person, but she firmly believed everything happened for a reason. She started to feel like this was one of those things she didn’t understand the purpose of right now, but would someday. And when she went to her first appointment and saw that tiny heart beating, that almost-baby-like shape inside her, the certainty hit her like a ton of bricks: this little life was supposed to be in hers.

She did think of Jaime sometimes, thought of trying to find him, but all she knew about him was his first name and that he lived in King’s Landing. There was no way she could track him down, and she doubted he’d want to know. It had been her choice to keep the baby anyway, and she’d planned on going it alone from the beginning.

After chastising her briefly about making responsible choices and thinking about the future, Selwyn came around to the idea of a grandchild, moving quickly from accepting to ecstatic. He even began looking at homes for sale on Tarth and offered to buy Brienne a small cottage on top of a bluff with an ocean view close to her childhood home.

Brienne knew that going back to Tarth was the sensible option, but she couldn’t help but feel like somewhat of a failure. She’d been the valedictorian of her class and a varsity athlete, and everyone, including her, expected her to go off to college and never come back. She certainly didn’t fathom coming back single and pregnant.

After Duncan’s birth, Brienne took surprisingly well to motherhood. It was physically exhausting and emotionally draining, of course, but her father proved to be an excellent support system, and Catelyn had kept her promise of being available at all hours to answer questions or just listen. And her love for Duncan proved to be the best motivator of all. The fact that this little human relied on her for literally everything helped her push past the gnawing feeling that she was completely unprepared for this. At first, she felt like little more than his milk-slave, but once he started to interact and respond to her, their bond grew strong and unshakeable.

As Duncan got older, his eyes brightened to a vivid blue-green and his hair turned ashy blonde shot through with streaks of platinum from the sun. He inherited Brienne’s freckles, but instead of a full face of them, his were an artfully-placed smattering over the tops of his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. His sharp, almost feline bone structure certainly did not come from her, but she struggled to call up his father’s face in her mind. When she tried, she just pictured Duncan’s face, albeit with a few more wrinkles and a few more gray hairs.

He was a truly beautiful child, but even more importantly, he was sweet and thoughtful and so very smart, excelling especially in math and science. Her own past social struggles didn’t seem to affect him, though his soft heart occasionally made him the target of bullies.

Navigating the issue of his father had been a challenge – Duncan had asked, of course, and Brienne was careful to never give him the idea that his father didn’t want him. So she told him some semblance of the truth, that she and his father had been together for a short time, but weren’t any longer, and she’d wanted to raise Duncan by herself. He seemed to be satisfied with that answer, although she knew the day would come when it wouldn’t be enough.

Life on Tarth in their cliffside cottage was relaxed and uncomplicated. Brienne taught at the one school on the island, worked on her online Master’s on nights and weekends, went with Duncan to the beach to surf and swim whenever the weather allowed (and sometimes even when it didn’t), and had dinner with her father once a week.

Brienne would only allow herself to admit how truly lonely she was in rare weak moments, and even then, she’d push those thoughts away by reminding herself of all she had to be grateful for: a wonderful son, a supportive father, a job she loved. But in those moments, she longed for someone to share this life with, to share her heart with, and despaired that she may never find them. The dating pool on Tarth was dismal, and she told herself she was just too busy with Duncan to be in a relationship, but the truth was that she knew she was waiting for something (or someone). She just didn’t know who.

After nearly 12 years of this uncomplicated, yet slightly dull life, Brienne was thrown a curveball when she was called into her son’s teacher’s room after school one day halfway through his sixth-grade year.

His teacher, Alys, was a friend of Brienne’s and had known Duncan since he was three, so her stomach sank at the fact that Alys had called her into her classroom instead of discussing the issue over a drink or dinner.

Alys gave her a tight smile when Brienne sat down in the little chair across from the desk, Brienne’s long legs folding up almost comically.

“Brienne, thanks for coming in,” Alys said formally. “I wanted to talk to you about Duncan. Lately he’s been behaving in ways that I know are out of character for him. He’s been acting out, distracting the other kids…” Brienne straightened in the chair and crossed her arms in front of her.

Sensing her defensiveness, Alys put her hands up. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose. I know what a good boy he is. I think he’s just bored. He flies through his work, even when I give him extra, and you’ve seen his test scores – they’re off the charts. I’m afraid this little school might be at its limits of challenging him.”

Brienne frowned. This certainly wasn’t what she expected, but she was at a loss as to what to do with this information. “Okay, what do you suggest we do?”

“I think we have two options: move him up a grade, or move him to a different school that can challenge him academically. Skipping a grade at this age might cause him to struggle socially, but obviously sending him to a different school would mean either boarding him, or moving to the mainland. But I’m afraid that if we don’t do anything, he’s going to start hating school and having more and more behavioral issues.”

Brienne had known Duncan was smart, and she also knew that the small school didn’t have the resources to cater individually to advanced students, but she never thought that might mean either sending him to a boarding school (which was out of the question) or leaving Tarth. She knew what it was to struggle socially, and she would never willingly put her son through that.

Brienne took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay. I’ll talk to Duncan tonight. Do you know of any schools we could look into?”

Alys nodded and opened her desk drawer, pulling out a stack of pamphlets for private schools in Storm’s End and King’s Landing and handing them to Brienne. “I actually did a little research before I talked to you, to take some of the stress off of you. I would hate to see you go,” she said kindly, “but I think this might be best for Duncan. And maybe for you, too. This is a pretty small pond for such a big fish.” Brienne laughed, and Alys grinned back. She gave her friend a hug and her thanks, and prepared to go home and make yet another life-changing decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I know this chapter is a hot mess but I didn't want to put too many in between Brienne and Jaime meeting again. Which they will...soon-ish.
> 
> Just want to reiterate that neither Brienne nor I look down upon anyone who chooses to terminate – she just didn’t feel like it was the right choice for her at this stage in her life.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne and Duncan adjust to their new home.

Brienne sat in her car in the parking lot of Duncan’s new school and chewed on her thumbnail. Large and small children in dark blue blazers, khaki pants, white shirts, and ties streamed out of the doors of King’s Landing Prep, the dismissal bell blaring behind them. She watched for her son’s blond hair, hoping the face underneath would be cheerful or at least neutral.

King’s Landing Prep had been the last on their formidable list of schools to tour, but despite their fatigue at the process, they’d both fallen in love. The school was in a historic building just outside downtown and boasted an impressive list of accomplished alumni. Even more notable for Brienne was its progressive teaching methods and focus on social awareness. Duncan was awestruck at the state-of-the-art science lab, and Brienne appreciated the small class sizes.

Most crucially, they offered Duncan a substantial scholarship based on his academics and their financial need. Although Brienne had quickly found a job teaching at one of the public elementary schools in King’s Landing and a small yet relatively affordable two-bedroom apartment, the tuition for the school would have been out of the question otherwise.

Brienne had dreaded discussing a possible move with Duncan and rehearsed the conversation in her head over and over, trying to emphasize all the ways their life would be better while downplaying her own reservations. Surprisingly, Duncan seemed excited about the change, leading Brienne to wonder if he was really as happy on their little island as she’d thought.

Brienne’s father was much more wary, afraid of losing the close relationship he’d cultivated with his daughter and grandson since Brienne had come back. Brienne had to reassure him they’d do weekly video chats and visit on every school break.

As soon as they’d made their decision, Brienne got a hold of Sansa and Margaery to tell them the news. They’d kept in touch after Meereen with frequent texts and phone calls, and visits every few years, most recently when Brienne traveled to Highgarden for their wedding three years ago. They’d moved to King’s Landing shortly after so that Margaery could take over as president of her grandmother’s organic grocery store empire. As Brienne had expected, their excitement nearly blew her eardrums. They promised to help with her apartment search, and Sansa put in a good word for her with the school district in which Brienne eventually found her job.

Duncan finished out the school year on Tarth and they moved in the summer, giving them both time to acclimate to their new surroundings. All too soon, it was the first day, and both their jitters were palpable on the drive to school.

Her first day had gone as well as could be expected with a classroom full of rambunctious 8-year-olds, and most of her new coworkers had at least been civil to her. She hoped the same for Duncan.

She didn’t have to worry long when Duncan came through the doors chatting animatedly with two other boys. He waved goodbye to them and came barreling toward her, already discussing plans for sleepovers and birthday parties. Brienne laughed, thrilled but somewhat jealous of her son’s ability to make friends so easily.

She shooed him into the car and smiled as he prattled on about his first day at King’s Landing Prep, about the books they were going to be reading that year, how he tested into eighth-grade math, and curious little observations about the other kids in his class. Until this moment, Brienne hadn’t been completely certain they’d made the right call about moving. But she could already see Duncan’s potential being fulfilled in a way it never could have been on Tarth.

A few weeks later, Brienne was partaking in one of her guilty pleasures, flipping through the society pages of King’s Landing Monthly and imagining a life with no responsibilities besides attending fundraisers and galas, when a picture of a dazzlingly beautiful couple caught her eye.

The woman had long dark hair arranged in artful waves around her shoulders and a gold sequined dress that looked painted on. She held the hand of a tall man with dark blonde hair shot through with silver in a suit that probably cost more than three months of her rent. He looked down and away from the flash of the cameras, but even with his face obscured, something about him was familiar. Brienne’s eyes flitted down to the caption, and she felt the blood drain from her face.

“Jaime Lannister and Arianne Martell arrive at the Highgarden Foundation’s annual ‘Fill the Garden’ fundraiser to fight childhood hunger.”

Jaime Lannister. Jaime. From King’s Landing. Duncan’s face, a few more wrinkles, a few more gray hairs.

_It was him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One thing Duncan and Jaime have in common – they both REALLY love to talk.
> 
> Thanks for all the love on the last chapter - I know 12 years is a long-ass time to jump, but I really wanted them all, especially Duncan, to be older when they meet again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne learns more about Jaime.

Brienne froze with the magazine in her hands, not realizing she was holding her breath until her lungs began to burn. She gasped in a gulp of air and threw the magazine down onto the table in front of her.

She hadn’t even put two and two together before this – that Jaime had lived in King’s Landing when they met and could possibly still. Even if she had, King’s Landing was so huge that the odds of ever running into him were slim to none. But here he was, staring back at her from the pages of a magazine, attending a fundraiser for Margaery’s family’s foundation.

Before her brain could catch up with her hands, she was picking up her phone and dialing Margaery.

“Hey!” Margaery’s voice chirped from the other end of the line.

“What do you know about Jaime Lannister?” Brienne blurted out, wincing at her rudeness.

Margaery’s confusion was evident in her voice. “Jaime Lannister?”

“Yes. Do you know him?”

“I know _of_ him – I’ve only met him a handful of times. Our families have been frenemies forever though. Why?”

“I’ll explain once you tell me everything you know about him.”

“Okay, well, he’s the oldest son of the richest family in King’s Landing,” Brienne pictured Margaery listing facts off on her fingers, “does something in his father’s company for work but I don’t know what, um…he’s either a saint or a total dick, depending on who you ask, always has a different hot little number on his arm but has never been in a real relationship as far as I know. Why?”

Brienne took a deep breath and got on with it. “He’s Duncan’s dad.”

Margaery gasped. “Oh, my gods. The guy from Lys? How did you find him?”

“I was just looking through King's Landing Monthly and saw a picture of him. His name was Jaime, he lived in King’s Landing, tall, blonde, ridiculously gorgeous? And…Duncan looks just like him.” Brienne had since sat down at her computer and searched his name, bringing up a handful of photos of him from various charity events and news articles of the family. The resemblance, especially in older photos, was uncanny.

“I barely remember that night at all, but now that I think about it…Duncan DOES look like him. Wow.” Margaery sounded almost as stunned as Brienne felt.

“Who does Duncan look like?” Brienne heard Sansa shout from somewhere in their house, then heard her voice over Margaery’s shoulder.

“Put me on speaker. Hey Bri, what’s up?”

Margaery filled her in before Brienne got the chance. “Jaime Lannister is the guy from Lys! Duncan’s dad!”

“WHAT?! Jaime Lannister? Isn’t he–“

“Super-hot and rich, AND single? YES!” 

They sounded five minutes away from starting to plan the wedding, so Brienne interrupted to bring them back down to reality. “Hey! He doesn’t even know Duncan exists, and I have no idea if he’d even want anything to do with us.”

“But you’re going to try, right?” Sansa asked.

Brienne didn’t hesitate. Her cowardice had already denied Duncan a relationship with his father for 12 years – she couldn’t do it again. “I have to. And if he doesn’t want to be involved, then I won’t tell Duncan and we’ll just…carry on with our lives.”

“I could get you his contact info tonight if you wanted it,” Margaery stated, clearly familiar with using her many connections for nefarious purposes.

“I don’t think I need it quite that soon – I still need to figure out what to say. I mean, I can’t just email him and say, ‘Hey, you probably don’t even remember having sex with me 12 years ago, but surprise, you have a preteen!’”

“Well – what else would you say?” Sansa asked quite seriously.

“I don’t know, not that!” Brienne said, exasperated. “I need to think about it. Margaery, can you send me his contact information tomorrow?”

“Yes! And you NEED to let us know what you say, and what he says back.”

“Just BCC us on the email!” Sansa suggested. “This is so exciting!” she shrieked, Margaery joining in.

“Alright, let’s not get carried away. I don’t even know if he’ll respond. And I am absolutely not BCC-ing you on the email.” She laughed despite herself, grateful to her friends for bringing some levity to the situation.

Brienne expressed her thanks to Margaery and promised to update them tomorrow. She didn’t even know why she attempted to go to sleep – her mind raced with “what-ifs”. What if Jaime didn’t respond? What if he thought she was lying, or that she was after his money? What if he _did_ want to be involved in Duncan’s life – how would she explain it to Duncan?

She eventually gave up and got out of bed, sitting down at her computer to begin drafting her email. She typed, deleted, and re-typed it no less than five times before finally deciding it was as good as it was going to get, saving it in drafts for when Margaery sent his email address tomorrow.

With the words that had been swirling around in her head now on paper, she relaxed a little more and drifted into a restless sleep haunted by piercing green eyes.

Brienne moved through the next day nervous and distracted, an unread text from Margaery taunting her from her phone, refusing to open it until she got home. The after-school shuffle of dinner, homework, and preparing for the next day pushed it out of her mind until Duncan was in bed.

When his room was quiet, she opened the text. She’d been expecting just an email address, but Margaery had sent what looked like a full dossier on Jaime Lannister – birthday, address, work and personal cell phone numbers and email addresses, even a list of “known associates.” _Margaery missed her calling as a private investigator…or organized crime kingpin_ , Brienne mused.

She decided to go with the work email address, figuring that it was probably the most publicly available, and he didn’t need to know she’d done quite so much digging into him. Brienne opened the draft of her email and entered his email address. She typed in a subject line she thought might catch his eye.

_Lys, 2007._

Whispering a prayer to the gods, she hit “send.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Margaery didn’t recognize Jaime in Lys because she’d only met him once before when she was very young and didn’t meet him again until she and Sansa moved to KL. Plus, she couldn’t see straight on account of all those tropical drinks.
> 
> I have no idea how dates/years work in ASOIAF-land, so just pretend they're the same as ours.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meeting.

To: jlannister@lannisterholdings.com  
From: btarth@weirwood.net  
Subject: Lys, 2007

Hello Jaime,

You probably don’t remember me, but my name is Brienne. We met in Lys at the Summer Sea Resort beach bar. I am very tall with blonde hair and blue eyes, and was there on my way home from a Humanitarian Corps mission in Meereen. We went back to your hotel room and had unprotected sex, and I left for home the next morning.

Two months later, I found out I was pregnant. Yes, I am sure it is yours. I thought about trying to contact you, but I didn’t even know your last name, much less how to find you in a city as big as King’s Landing. I kept the baby, a boy I named Duncan, and raised him on Tarth, my home.

Duncan and I had a good, comfortable life on Tarth, but we moved to King’s Landing recently so that he could attend King’s Landing Prep. I saw your picture in King’s Landing Monthly a few days ago and knew it was you. I don’t know why things happened the way they did, but I do feel like seeing your picture in the magazine was a sign.

I do not expect anything from you – not your money, or your time, or anything else. I have done just fine raising Duncan by myself for the past 12 years and will be just fine if I have to continue doing so for the rest of my life. But I owe it to my son to at least let you know he exists and to see if you might be interested in meeting with me. I will not tell him about you until I know what your intentions are.

I know this is a lot of information to process, but Duncan is my entire world, and I only want the best for him. If you do not want anything to do with him, please respond letting me know you received this, and I will not contact you further.

If you would like to meet with me, please let me know your availability. I work at Visenya Elementary, but can meet anywhere that is convenient for you.

I look forward to hearing back from you.

\- Brienne Tarth

* * *

To: btarth@weirwood.net  
From: jlannister@lannisterholdings.com  
Subject: Re: Lys, 2007

Hello Brienne,

Yes, I do remember you.

Wow.

I must admit that when I imagined you tracking me down, this was not what I expected. I also thought about trying to find you after Lys, but since you didn’t leave your number I figured you didn’t want me to. If I would have known…

Anyway, yes, I would like to meet with you. Name the time and place – I’ll make myself available.

\- Jaime

* * *

Brienne sat at a corner table in the Mockingbird Bistro downtown, fidgeting with the stirrer in her mug of decaf vanilla latte. She’d arrived 15 minutes early to get a good table and hopefully settle the nerves zinging through her body. She had no idea what to expect – Jaime could request a paternity test, throw money at her to make them go away, demand shared custody – anything was possible.

Although she knew next to nothing about the man, the fact that he didn’t just ignore her email completely told her that he at least had manners, and his timely and enthusiastic reply to her email was heartening. What he would do when he walked in and saw her again remained to be seen.

She didn’t have to wait long – the bell above the door chimed and she raised her eyes from her cup to see him striding in, resplendent in a navy-blue suit with a white shirt and blue and red striped tie. She found herself irrationally angry that Jaime, the most beautiful man she’d ever seen in person, was even _more_ beautiful now. His face was a bit more weathered and his hair a bit grayer, lending him an air of worldliness that would have just been described as _old_ had he been a woman.

Brienne knew the years had not been as kind to her, but this meeting wasn’t about her anyway – something she’d told herself over and over this morning. Picking out her most flattering outfit and spending more time on her hair and makeup than she had in years was pure coincidence.

Brienne observed the other patrons of the coffee shop, and even most of the employees, stop their conversations to stare at him. She didn’t blame them; she realized she was doing the same, then snapped herself out of it to raise her arm.

Her movement caught his eye, and when he spotted her, his eyes widened a fraction and lips parted as he inhaled. Half a second later, his face smoothed back into neutrality and he walked toward her. She tried to ignore the flutter in her heart and swoop of her stomach at seeing him again, then took a deep breath and stood from her chair.

“Jaime. Hi.” She wrung her hands in front of her, not sure what to do with them – did she offer a handshake? A hug?

“Brienne. Hi.”

His voice was just as deep and honeyed as she remembered, and her breath caught in her throat. He pulled his chair out to sit, and she felt a momentary pang of disappointment that she didn’t get to touch him.

Brienne wiped her sweaty palms on her pants and gave him a weak smile. No matter how much she’d tried _not_ to think of him over the past 12 years, fantasies of meeting him again had floated across her mind from time to time. Now that it was actually happening, she didn’t know what to say.

“Thank you for meeting with me. Do you…want to get a coffee or anything?” Brienne hoped he did, only to delay the inevitable, but he shook his head.

“No, I’m fine.” He folded his hands on the table in front of him and looked at her expectantly.

Brienne took a breath. “Well. Seems we have a lot to talk about.”

“You should start,” Jaime said, his chiseled features unreadable.

“Okay, well, like I said in my email, about two months after I got home from Lys I found out I was pregnant. You were the only person I’d… So anyway, I had the baby, obviously, and moved back to Tarth to raise him. I didn’t have any way of contacting you, and I didn’t even know your last name…” Brienne shrugged weakly. The excuses she’d been repeating to herself over the years sounded pathetic when she spoke them aloud.

“Did you try?” His voice was a knife’s edge, despite the neutrality of his face.

“What?” she asked, taken aback.

“Did you try to find me. Did you ask the hotel for my last name? Hire a PI? Anything?”

Brienne’s heart pounded. “Well, no…we didn’t even know each other. I didn’t think you’d want anything to do with…”

“With my own kid?” he interrupted. “Brienne, what kind of a man do you think I am?”

Brienne’s bafflement showed on her face. “I don’t know what kind of a man you are. I only knew you all of 12 hours.”

“So you just… _assumed_.”

Brienne blinked. “I... _assumed_ most men wouldn’t be thrilled to find out they’d gotten a stranger pregnant.”

A muscle in his jaw twitched. “I’m not like most men.”

“I guess not.”

Of all the ways she’d imagined this conversation going, this was not one of them. Jaime seemed hurt and angry – and not angry about Duncan’s existence, but that it had taken so long to find out about him. Of course, she’d thought about Duncan missing out on having a father, but had never considered that Jaime was missing out on having a son.

They looked at each other for a long time, his eyes as sharp as a freshly-honed sword. They burned into hers; she finally had to look away and down at her hands. The din of the café faded away, replaced by the rushing of blood in her ears.

“Can you tell me about him?” she heard him say, his voice low and serious.

She lifted her eyes back up to his, the thudding of her heart slowing at the prospect of talking about something other than her mistakes. “He’s really sweet and so smart. Especially in math and science. That’s why we’re here, so he could go to King’s Landing Prep. The little school on Tarth couldn’t challenge him enough.”

The tightness in Jaime’s shoulders and face eased a bit, and the corner of his mouth twitched up. “He must get that from you.”

Brienne returned the smile. “He’s also really outgoing and social. Makes friends wherever he goes. I assume that’s from you.”

Brienne told him more about Duncan, about his love of action and fantasy stories, his natural aptitude for all things athletic but especially swimming and surfing, his tendency to get talking so fast that he ended most sentences with a gasp. She pulled out her phone and showed Jaime a recent picture – Duncan dressed in his uniform for his first day at KLP, grinning on the sidewalk of their apartment building.

Jaime held the phone in his hands and stared, drinking in every detail.

Brienne felt tears pricking at her eyes. Her chest was heavy with the realization that her insecurities and fear of rejection had robbed Jaime of knowing the son he clearly wanted to know. Before she could stop herself, she grabbed his hand. “I’m sorry. Really. I never thought…” She trailed off, no explanation seeming adequate.

Jaime handed her the phone back. “What does he know about me?”

“Nothing – I told him that we were no longer together when I found out I was pregnant, and that I wanted to raise him by myself.

“So he doesn’t think I didn’t want him?”

“No, of course not. And he hasn’t asked many questions yet, but I imagine he’ll start asking more as he gets older.”

“Do you think he’d want to meet me?” The waver of his voice broke her heart.

“I do. But…if you’re going to be there for him, I want you to _be there for him_. Not just dip in and out of his life when it’s convenient for you. He deserves better than that.”

Jaime looked mildly offended. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be all in. I’ve already missed out on 12 years with him. I want to be his dad. If he wants me to,” he added.

Brienne’s heart swooped in her chest. She hadn’t allowed herself to hope for anything from this meeting, but now she knew those words were all she wanted to hear.

“I guess I should have asked, does he have a…father figure?” Jaime continued.

_He’s asking if I’m in a relationship._ Brienne shook her head a little too vehemently. “Just my dad. But now that we’re here, he’s going to be missing that. And I’d personally appreciate having someone to help me talk to him about… _boy stuff_.” She fake-grimaced, and Jaime smiled, a blinding thing that seemed to make the entire café brighter.

“I’ll talk to him tonight, but I’m going to let him set the timeline. I hope you’ll understand if he needs some time to process all this.”

Jaime nodded. “Of course. He can take all the time he wants. I’ll be here.”

Brienne smiled, then hesitated before asking her next question. “Is there someone you need to tell? A wife, or girlfriend…”

Jaime sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, an amused look spreading across his face. “Ah, the picture in the magazine. No, no wife or girlfriend. I have to show up someplace with a woman on my arm every few months to keep my father off my back.”

Unbidden, her heart did a flip, and she had to remind herself once again that this was not about him and her. “Oh,” was all the response she could muster up. “Well, why don’t you give me your number and I’ll keep you updated on what Duncan says.” She kept the fact that she already had his number to herself. “Unless you’d prefer email,” she added quickly.

“No, phone is great.” She unlocked her phone and slid it to him.

Jaime entered his number and handed it back, but instead of getting up to leave, he just folded his hands in front of him again. She expected more questions about Duncan or their life thus far, but he simply looked at her. Just before the silence became uncomfortable, he asked, “Why didn’t you leave your number?”

Brienne’s brain struggled to process his question. Her mouth opened and closed several times before she was able to form words. “In Lys?” He nodded. “I don’t know…it was a one-night stand. I didn’t expect it to turn into anything, and I doubt you did either.”

“No, but I would have appreciated the chance to at least say goodbye. I thought about you a lot after that. Wondered where you were, what you were doing. If I would have known…” He looked down at the table and trailed off, just like he had in his email. The fact that he’d thought about her at all was bewildering, much less that he’d thought about her _a lot_.

Her hands twitched to reach out and take his, but she held back. “I’m sorry,” she repeated. “Neither of us could have known. But…we’re all here now, and I think that’s for a reason.”

Jaime nodded and gave her a weak smile, but the sadness in his eyes remained. They exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes before both standing up to leave, Jaime holding the door for her on the way out.

They stopped on the sidewalk in front of the café, face to face, an awkward silence threatening to grow. Jaime finally said, “It was good to see you again. I never really thought I would.”

“It was good to see you too.” Brienne waffled a bit before taking a tentative step toward him, holding her arms out from her sides. Jaime closed the distance, wrapping her lightly in an embrace. He smelled like soap with a hint of expensive cologne, and Brienne took a hopefully-subtle sniff before releasing him.

“I’ll be in touch,” she said before turning to walk back to her car. She took a few steps before looking over her shoulder at Jaime, who still stood there, looking at her. She raised her hand and he returned the gesture before turning and walking the opposite way.

When she got back to her car, she sat in silence for a long few minutes. Though the ultimate result of the meeting was better than she could have dreamed, she still felt like pure shit. Jaime had seemed so broken up about missing out on Duncan’s life, and it was all her fault. She resolved then and there to make it up to him. But first, she needed to have another difficult conversation with her son… _their_ son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the response to this fic thus far!
> 
> This is the end of what I had pre-written so the updates will be farther in between from now on...but I promise to write as fast as my little fingers allow to get another chapter up soon!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duncan meets his father.

Brienne drove straight to KLP after her and Jaime’s meeting to pick Duncan up from swim team practice, thankful for the time in the car to broach the topic with him. _Tough conversations are always easiest in the car_ , her dad had told her when Duncan was just a baby, and that advice had been especially pertinent lately.

Duncan threw his backpack into the backseat and slid in after it.

“Hi, how was school?” Brienne asked, trying and somewhat succeeding to sound casual.

“Good. Today in chemistry, Mr. Qyburn did an experiment where he dropped gummy bears into some chemical and they burst into flames and shrieked like they were being burned alive! It was so cool.”

“Mm, sounds cool,” Brienne replied, only slightly disturbed. “Hey, I have something kind of important I need to talk to you about.”

“Okay. Is it about the VisionBox you’re getting me for my birthday?”

Brienne groaned. He hadn’t stopped talking about this stupid video game console since school had started – no doubt the influence of his better-off classmates. “Your birthday isn’t for six months, and I didn’t tell you I was getting it for you anyway. No, this is about…your father.” The words felt foreign on her tongue.

Duncan frowned in the rearview mirror. “My father? What about him?”

“Do you remember what I told you about him?” She waited for a nod.

“Well…it wasn’t entirely true. We were never really together. I actually barely even knew him. I met him on vacation, and after I got home, I didn’t have any way of contacting him. So he never knew about you.”

Duncan was uncharacteristically silent, so Brienne continued.

“But, I found him. Very recently. He lives here, in King’s Landing.”

Duncan’s mouth hung partially open. “Oh,” he said after a long moment.

“And…if you want, he’d like to meet you.”

Duncan was quiet for a few more minutes, then asked, “What’s he like?”

Brienne realized then she still didn’t really know much about Jaime. They’d talked a lot about Duncan, but barely at all about themselves. “Well, his name is Jaime. He’s…blonde, and very tall, and has green eyes. He’s a nice man.”

“Do you think he likes Star Shield?” Duncan asked, referring to his favorite movie series about roving knights in outer space.

Brienne chuckled. “I don’t know, maybe. You could ask him.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. I want to meet him. But…what if he doesn’t like me?”

His insecurity sent a pang through Brienne’s heart, but she tried not to let it come through in her voice. “Duncan, of course he’ll like you. Everyone likes you!”

“But what if I’m not what he expected?”

Brienne took a deep breath. “He just found out about you. I don’t think he’s expecting anything. And he’s probably just as nervous as you, maybe even more so.”

“Why would he be nervous about meeting me?”

“Because he’s your father. Even though you didn’t know much about him, you still knew he was out there somewhere, and I’m sure you had some expectations in your mind about who he was.”

The corner of Duncan’s mouth quirked up. “I used to imagine he was, like, a spy or a secret agent or something. Traveling around doing dangerous missions.” He narrowed his eyes. “He’s not, is he?”

“You’ve watched too many movies,” Brienne chuckled. “But no, he’s not. I really think you’ll like him though.”

Duncan nodded and smiled, then launched into a story about how he scored two goals in the soccer game at recess.

When they got home, Brienne pulled her phone out of her purse and saw six missed text messages. Two were from Sansa and one from Margaery, asking about how the meeting went, but the other three took her by surprise.

> _Hi Brienne. I’m sorry if I came off rude back there. Like you said, this is a lot to process, and I let my emotions get the best of me._
> 
> _I also should have apologized for putting you in this situation in the first place. It takes two people to make a baby, and I should have been more careful._
> 
> _I look forward to hearing from you after you talk to Duncan._

Brienne blinked and read the messages again. She hadn’t anticipated an apology for Jaime’s completely reasonable emotions at the café, and she certainly wasn’t expecting one for his part in creating Duncan. She did appreciate it though – she didn’t regret having Duncan at all, of course, but life as a young single mother had been anything but easy at times.

She texted Margaery and Sansa back a quick update, promising to get together soon for a more detailed retelling, and then puzzled over what to say to Jaime before settling with simple and to the point.

> _Thank you for the apologies. They were unnecessary, but appreciated nonetheless._
> 
> _Duncan would like to meet you. He has Thursdays off of swim practice – maybe we could meet at the Mockingbird Café again, at the same time?_

She pushed “send,” set her phone on the coffee table and busied herself with making dinner, attempting to think about something other than seeing Jaime again. No matter how many times over the past years she’d thought about him and their night together (and she had, both alone and, somewhat embarrassingly, with other people), she hadn’t expected the flutters in her stomach upon seeing him to be just as powerful 12 years later.

She knew she couldn’t help her body’s subconscious response to him, but she felt guilty for it anyway. The only reason she’d contacted him at all was Duncan. If she hadn’t gotten pregnant during their encounter, she would have glanced over the picture in the magazine with barely a second thought.

At least that’s what she told herself as nerves zinged through her body on the way to the café on Thursday. Duncan also seemed to be anxious, alternating between talking a mile a minute and tense silence in the car. Brienne wanted to reassure him that all he needed to do was be himself, but she remembered finding trite advice like that unhelpful as a child, so she kept quiet.

When they walked into the café, Jaime was the one already waiting, sitting at the same table the two of them had sat at the week before. Jaime scrambled to his feet when he saw them, wiping his palms on his thighs as he stood. He was dressed more casually this time, in khakis and a light blue button-up shirt that brought out the golden tones in his skin. She willed her heartbeat to slow down and put her hand on Duncan’s shoulder, both to reassure him and to urge him forward.

As they walked toward him, Jaime’s eyes darted between Brienne and Duncan, lingering on her for a moment before settling on Duncan’s face. He stepped out from behind the table and met them in the middle of the café. She felt Duncan hesitate for just a moment before he held out his hand and said, “Hello, sir, I’m Duncan Tarth.” Brienne felt momentarily proud of his manners and maturity, but her heart sunk when she saw Jaime wince at his formality.

He bent slightly, took Duncan’s hand and replied, “It’s nice to meet you, Duncan. But please, call me Jaime.”

Duncan nodded, his shoulders relaxing slightly, and he and Jaime sat while Brienne went to the counter to order drinks and give them a little space, just the two of them. She watched them as she waited, Jaime leaning in toward Duncan and asking him a question. Duncan smiled and answered, looking down at the table, his nerves still apparent but seemingly melting away quickly.

Brienne took their drinks back to the table and set Duncan’s hot chocolate in front of him. He barely noticed, engrossed now in telling Jaime about his best events in swimming. When Duncan deigned to take a breath, Jaime interjected, “Could I come watch you swim some time?” Duncan looked at Brienne then, eyes wide. “Can he, mom?”

“Of course,” Brienne replied, and Jaime and Duncan smiled the same wide, white grin in her direction. She thought she may have been knocked off her feet if she hadn’t been sitting down. Brienne allowed herself, just for a moment, to imagine them as a true father and son, a true family, and her heart jumped in her chest. But her more realistic side brought her back down to earth and reminded her that she and Duncan still barely knew Jaime, and there was a lot more work to be done on all of their parts to get to that point.

Still, she let herself sit back and listen to Jaime and Duncan’s conversation, now veering, of course, toward Duncan’s current obsession. “What’s your favorite Star Shield movie?”

Jaime narrowed his eyes playfully. “I have a feeling there _is_ a right and wrong answer to this question.” He laughed and thought for a moment, then said confidently, “Return of Goldenhand.”

“That one’s my second favorite – but I think the best one is The King’s Revenge.”

They launched into a light-hearted argument about characters and plot, with Jaime sounding very out of his depth but gamely trying to keep up anyway. Jaime asked about other things Duncan was interested in, and he told him about the science camp he wanted to go to this summer and the new book series he just started. More than once, Jaime caught Brienne watching him as he watched Duncan, but she could scarcely tear her eyes away from his awestruck face.

After more than an hour of shockingly easy conversation, Duncan’s stomach began audibly growling. Brienne looked at her watch. “Oh, I didn’t realize how late it was. We should probably be getting back home. I need to feed him before he turns into a three-headed monster.” Jaime laughed, and they all stood and made their way toward the door.

They lingered on the sidewalk in front of the café, seemingly none of them wanting this time to come to an end. “It was really nice meeting you, Duncan,” Jaime said, and held out his hand. Duncan looked at it for a moment, then stepped toward Jaime and tentatively wrapped his arms around him.

Jaime hesitated for a fraction of a second before returning the hug, one of his hands cupping the back of Duncan’s head as he looked down at him. The tear that had been pricking at the corner of Brienne’s eye for an hour finally escaped, and she brushed it quickly away with her thumb before it rolled down her face.

After releasing Jaime, Duncan asked eagerly, “Are you going to come to my swim meet on Saturday?”

Brienne winced internally, wanting to remind Duncan that they’d only just met and that they might want to ease into things, but Jaime just smiled and answered immediately.

“I’d love to. I’ll get the details from your mom.”

“Ok, cool! Bye!” Duncan bounded down the sidewalk to the car, and Brienne turned to follow him but was stopped by a hand encircling her wrist.

“Hey,” Jaime said softly. “You did a great job with him.”

Heat pooled in her stomach at the feel of his hand on her skin, and she swore she saw a flicker of _something_ in his eyes before he released her wrist.

“Thank you,” she replied, hoping her voice didn’t belie the racing of her heart. They looked at each other for a fraught moment before Duncan yelled from down the street, “Mom! I’m hungry!” They laughed, the tension draining out from between them, and Brienne promised to send Jaime the details for Duncan’s swim meet when they got home.

“Until Saturday, then,” Jaime said.

Brienne smiled at him and nodded. “Until Saturday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that the ~difficult conversations~ are over, I foresee this going a lot faster since I know how I want it to progress from here. Thanks for the continued support!  
> The [gummy bear experiment](https://youtu.be/txkRCIPSsjM) is actually real!  
> Star Shield = Star Wars. Yes, Duncan is a full-fledged fanboy


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne and Jaime get to know each other a little better.

Although sitting in a hot, humid natatorium for hours to watch her son swim for a total of two minutes had never been her ideal way to spend a Saturday, Brienne found that Jaime’s presence beside her made it much more tolerable. He yelled and clapped for Duncan while he was swimming, and when he wasn’t, his attention was solely on her in an almost discomfiting way. Brienne thought Jaime may have come to the same realization that although they’d talked at length about Duncan, they hadn’t really talked about themselves.

“So, you’re an elementary teacher,” he repeated after she told him about her job. “Didn’t you want to be a university professor once?”

Brienne’s eyes widened, shocked that he remembered. “Yeah, I did. But then Duncan…”

“…happened,” Jaime finished.

Brienne nodded. “I did manage to get my master’s though, on nights and weekends. Only took me three years,” she chuckled. “But a Ph.D. is out of the question now, so I think I’ll have to make do with teaching multiplication tables and the water cycle.”

“Why is a Ph.D. out of the question?” Jaime asked sincerely.

Brienne frowned. “Jaime, pursuing a Ph.D. is basically a full-time job. I couldn’t work at the same time, and the pay from the undergraduate courses I’d have to teach wouldn’t even come close to supporting us.”

Jaime didn’t say anything, just made a little _hmm_ sound and looked away thoughtfully, the gears visibly turning in his head in a way that concerned her.

“What about you? You haven’t told me what you do,” she said to fill the silence.

Jaime grimaced. “I work for my father’s company, Lannister Holdings. It’s all very boring and corporate. I’m not even sure what I do, some days. But I’m supposed to take over one day, so.” He shrugged and held his palms up in resignation.

“You don’t seem too excited about that,” Brienne remarked.

“It’s definitely not my passion if that’s what you’re asking.” There was a bitterness in his voice she hadn’t heard before.

“Well what is?” she asked, and he looked at her as if seeing her for the first time.

After a long pause, he answered, “Honestly, I haven’t thought about it in so long that I really don’t know.” He sounded so resigned that it hurt to listen to him.

Before she could push further, Duncan’s next event came up, so they turned their attention to the pool. Butterfly was Duncan’s best stroke, and it was Brienne’s favorite event to watch – he looked like a dolphin slicing through the water, and she was excited to see Jaime watch him for the first time.

Duncan shot out to an early lead, unsurprisingly – he was already several inches taller than most of the boys on either team, and his gangly arms and legs were beginning to fill out with muscle. Looking at Jaime, it was easy to imagine the man Duncan would become, at least physically.

Duncan easily won his heat, and Jaime stood up and wolf-whistled when he climbed out of the pool. Duncan looked up and waved, grinning, and she and Jaime returned the gesture.

Once they sat down, Jaime remarked, “He’s _really_ good. I don’t think anyone in my family is that athletic.”

“Speaking of your family…you haven’t said much about them besides that you work for your father. What about your mom? Do you have siblings?”

“My mom died when I was eight. Complications after giving birth to my brother, Tyrion.” Jaime hesitated for a moment. “I also have a twin sister, Cersei. Tyrion and I are really close. Cersei…not so much. But I try to be there for my niece and nephews.” He seemed sad talking about it, so she didn’t press the issue, but had to know one more thing. “Have you told them? About Duncan?”

Jaime shook his head. “No. Not yet. My family is…complicated. I kind of want him to myself for a while before they try to get their claws in him.”

Brienne’s face twisted. “That sounds scary. Do…do we _have_ to tell them?”

Jaime laughed then, some of the tension easing out of his shoulders. “Eventually. My father has never stopped hounding me for grandkids, even though he already has two. Something about being _the heir_.” His last two words dripped with derision. “But, like I said, I want to get to know you better first.”

Brienne smiled and turned back to the pool, mostly to hide the fierce blush she felt rising in her face when she realized he’d said “you” instead of “Duncan.”

When the meet was over, Jaime and Brienne stood in the hallway waiting for Duncan to come out of the locker room. She turned to him. “Hey, thanks for coming today. I thought we might ease into this a little slower, but Duncan is…excitable, as you can tell. I know it’s probably a big change from being Westeros’ most eligible bachelor,” she teased.

Jaime grinned a smug grin. “So you _have_ looked me up,” he said and raised his eyebrow in a way that Brienne thought should be made illegal. “Being Westeros’ most eligible bachelor isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

Before he could elaborate, Duncan came bounding out of the locker room, addressing both of them in turn. “You came! Mom, did you see I shaved a second off my breaststroke time?”

Brienne ruffled Duncan’s hair. “I did! Good work!”

“You were really impressive out there,” added Jaime. “Maybe some time we can go out to Blackwater Bay and you can teach me some of your skills.” Duncan nodded excitedly, and they made their way out to the parking lot.

When Brienne and Duncan arrived at their car, Jaime looked at Brienne. “This was fun.”

Brienne chuckled. “You won’t be saying that after the tenth meet of the season, but I’m glad you didn’t find it completely horrible. It was definitely a lot more fun for me, having someone to talk to.”

“So, does that mean I’m invited again?” He smiled, making Brienne’s stomach swoop.

“Of course. I’ll send you the schedule. But we can do other things too, so you and Duncan can actually talk. You could come over for dinner sometime, or to watch a movie…”

“I’d love to,” Jaime said without hesitation. “Just tell me when and where.”

Duncan, bored with the adults’ conversation, had already slid into the backseat, so Jaime knocked on his window and waved. Duncan waved and shouted, “See you later!” through the window.

“Okay, well…I guess we’ll see you later,” Brienne laughed, subconsciously stepping toward him and holding out her arms. Saying goodbye with a hug felt so natural now even after doing it just once before. Jaime’s arms wrapped around her solidly, and she was keenly aware of the pressure of his fingertips on her back. She released him before she stood there all day, and promised to be in touch.

Unfortunately, the week came and went with no time for anything besides shuttling Duncan to and from swim practice, and before she knew it, the weekend had arrived again. There was no swim meet this weekend; instead, they were going to a birthday party for a boy at Duncan’s school. The birthday kid was a year younger than Duncan so he didn’t even really know him, but apparently, he’d invited his whole grade plus the ones a year ahead and behind him. Brienne wasn’t one to deny Duncan any chances for socializing, but she couldn’t even imagine how rich his family had to be to have an 11th birthday party that extravagant.

She didn’t have to imagine anymore when they pulled up to the location of the party. “Whoa,” she and Duncan breathed in unison as they reached the end of the long, winding drive and saw the red-brick mansion surrounded by immaculate landscaping and featuring a fountain in the circle drive out front. It had to be twice the size of the biggest house on Tarth and even had a godsdamned turret, making it feel even more like a castle.

Brienne parked her car alongside the other cars in the circle, trying to ignore the fact that hers was the oldest by a decade, and followed the path of balloons around to the backyard. She knew most of the other kids’ parents probably wouldn’t be staying, but she didn’t feel comfortable dropping her son off at a stranger’s house. She promised Duncan she’d quietly scope out the situation, meet the birthday boy’s parents, and try not to embarrass him.

The backyard of the house looked less like a kid’s birthday party and more like a full-on circus – there was a bounce house shaped like a castle, a foam-pit jousting ring, a bored-looking pony with a kid on its back being led around in a circle, and acrobats wearing jester costumes cartwheeling on tables. She and Duncan both just stood there for a moment, taking in the unbelievable sight, before one of Duncan’s friends spotted him and waved him over to the squirt-gun archery range.

Brienne picked her jaw up off the floor and looked around at the people milling about, trying to pick out the owners of the house. She spotted the birthday boy quickly enough – a plump, blonde boy wearing a golden plastic crown and medieval king costume, pummeling another kid with a foam lance in the jousting pit. She thought to look for someone replenishing the food and drinks, but figured people with a house like this probably had hired help to do that sort of thing.

She was about to ask the closest person when she heard her name being called from behind her. She whirled around and came face to face with Jaime, who was hurrying toward her looking ashen and panicked. She was also surprised to see him, of course, but was taken aback by the extremity of his reaction. “What are you doing here?” he hissed as he pulled her by the arm into the darkened back entrance of the house.

“Duncan was invited to the birthday party,” she replied, puzzled at his demeanor. “What are _you_ doing here?”

Before he could answer, a stunning blonde woman in a long purple gown came swanning out from the house. Brienne and Jaime both stopped and turned to look at her, and she glanced down to where Jaime was still holding on to Brienne’s arm. A look of confusion flashed across her face before it was replaced with a smooth, practiced countenance.

“Jaime! There you are. Tommen is requesting your presence at the water balloon catapult.” The woman’s eyes flicked up and down Brienne’s body. “And who is this?”

Jaime sighed heavily, dropping Brienne’s arm, and scrubbed his hand over his face. “This is Brienne. Brienne, this is Cersei. My sister.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things have been going way too smoothly thus far...so you know there had to be a Cersei-shaped wrench thrown in. There is no incest in this fic though!  
> At first, I was going to have the birthday party be the first time they met again, but then I decided that would be too cruel to poor awkward Brienne. So now it's the setting of her surprise introduction to the Lannister family.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne meets (part of) the family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a brief fic exchange-related hiatus, we're back!  
> Thank you to SDWolfpup for helping with this chapter, and to Cloaca for coming up with the TV show title when I was blanking.

_“When were you going to tell us?_ ” Cersei hissed loud enough to be heard from the next room, where Brienne was currently sitting, trying not to eavesdrop on this obviously sensitive family matter. 

Jaime had suggested they talk inside the house, which Brienne was now grateful for as it allowed her to excuse herself to another room as soon as things got tense.

Which they did almost immediately, right after Jaime said, “I didn’t mean for you to find out this way, but...I have a son. Brienne is his mother.”

Cersei’s face went blank for a moment, then twisted into a grimace of such pure rage that Brienne was surprised her ears didn’t start smoking.

“I should probably let you talk in private,” Brienne had mumbled, moving from her stool in the kitchen to an attached sitting room.

Now, she struggled to let them have their privacy while not being able to ignore their rising voices. 

“What is she doing here? Did you invite her?”

“YOU invited her. Duncan goes to Tommen’s school. He’s a year older.”

_“Duncan_ ,” Cersei said derisively. “So he’s 12 years old? Again, when were you going to tell us about this _Duncan_?” 

“I just found out about him myself! Forgive me for wanting to get to know him a little before throwing him to the lions.”

“Are you sure he’s even yours?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Jaime replied through gritted teeth.

“You know, I’m surprised this is the first time some woman’s crawled out of the woodwork claiming to have your illegitimate child. What does she want? Money? Stock in the company? Half of Tommen’s inheritance?”

“For gods’ sake, Cersei! Is that what you’re upset about? Money? I don’t give a shit about that and neither does she!”

“They all say that in the beginning. Then they _hit a rough patch_ and _just need help one time_ and suddenly you’re paying for their fucking boob jobs and convertibles.” 

Jaime’s voice quieted. “Oh. I see what this is about. I’m sorry that Robert can’t control himself around all the money-grubbing 20-year-olds who throw themselves at him, but this is not the same thing. Brienne is not like that.”

The softness in Jaime’s voice when talking about her made Brienne’s breath hitch in her throat.

“So she didn’t know you were a Lannister when she let you come inside her?”

_“Cersei_ ,” Jaime growled. “She didn’t even know my last name. And it’s been almost 12 years. Don’t you think she would have come forward sooner if she cared about the money?”

Cersei was quiet for a while, then spoke again, her voice saccharine sweet. “I just care about our family. Our reputation. You know that.”

“Then you should be happy for me. This was a shock, but...I’m happy about it. You have a nephew. I have a _son_.”

Brienne’s heart fluttered in her chest.

Cersei scoffed. “This is just so unlike you, brother. You haven’t even properly dated anyone since, what, college? And now you're telling me that you were irresponsible enough to go and get a stranger pregnant?”

Jaime sighed heavily. “I can’t explain it, Cersei. Just...please give them a chance.”

_“Them?_ ” Cersei sounded surprised. “Are you planning on making the woman a Lannister too?”

“Her name is Brienne. And she is the mother of my son. They’re a package deal.”

Cersei breathed out forcefully. “I hope you don’t regret this.”

“I won’t. I don’t.” Jaime sounded sure and confident, and it lent Brienne the strength she needed to stand up tall when Jaime called her back into the kitchen.

“Sorry about that,” Cersei said to Brienne, a plastic smile on her face. “Family matters, you know.” She placed her hand on Brienne’s forearm as if they were old friends. “It is so wonderful to meet you. When do I get to meet my nephew?”

“Not today,” Jaime growled, warning in his voice. “I haven’t told dad or Tyrion yet, and I don’t plan to for a while.”

“Oh, of course not,” Cersei responded in a voice that did not sound convincing. 

Just then, movement in the doorway caught her eye. A man came walking through, extremely short in stature but with a personality that filled up the room. 

“Jaime, there you are!” he said jovially. “I just saw a kid out there who looks uncannily like you. Are you sure you don’t have any secret progeny running around?” The man looked then to Brienne, his eyes going wide for a moment before he smiled and held out his hand. “Hello, I’m Tyrion. And you are?”

“Um, I’m Brienne,” she replied, stooping down to shake his hand.

Jaime expelled a large puff of air next to her. “Tyrion, you might want to take a seat.”

***

“This is fantastic!” Tyrion struggled out between huge guffaws. “And here we always thought **_I_ ** would be the first Lannister to father an illegitimate child.” He was sitting on a stool, his short legs dangling, slapping his knees with laughter. 

Jaime frowned at him. “I wish everyone would stop calling him that,” he said while Tyrion caught his breath. 

Brienne’s eyes darted between the two men – at first, she was shocked that they could be brothers, but after studying Tyrion a little more, she began to see the resemblance. One of Tyrion’s eyes was the same sparkling green as Jaime’s, and his hair, though shorter, hinted at the same rich gold. He had a mischief about his face that neither Jaime nor Cersei possessed, and she wondered briefly what his childhood must have been like growing up with two siblings like his. 

“You _must_ let me be present when you tell father about this,” Tyrion said, and Brienne didn’t know what to make of the amusement in his voice. “The look on his face…”

Jaime cut in. “Absolutely not. I’m telling him in private, at a later date, and none of you will be there.” He turned to Brienne. “No offense, it's just our father can be…”

“He’s the devil incarnate,” Tyrion interrupted.

Cersei rolled her eyes. “Oh, he is not that bad.” 

“To you, maybe.”

Jaime stepped bodily in between them. “Alright, stop! No one is telling dad except me, and that’s the end of it.”

***

“So...Cersei told dad.”

Brienne looked up at Jaime, who was assembling a salad in the little kitchen in her apartment. He’d stripped off his button-up shirt immediately upon entering and was now wearing just a white v-neck t-shirt, the tightness of which Brienne found incredibly rude. Between that and the domesticity of him moving around her kitchen like he lived there, Brienne had to pretend very hard that the magazine in front of her was much more interesting than it actually was to avoid openly staring.

On the way home from the party the week prior, Brienne had given Duncan a basic run-down of what she’d learned. Duncan seemed excited to have a cousin (two, actually - there was also an older girl who was away at boarding school), and as for the rest of the family dynamics...better to keep that from him for as long as possible.

Brienne couldn’t help a bitter chuckle escaping. “Of course she did,” she replied. Having known Cersei for less than an hour, she could already tell she wasn’t one to keep her promises.

“I’m sorry. She's the type of person who, if something's not about her, she'll find a way to _make_ it about her. I told you my family was…” he trailed off and shook his head. “Anyway, you’re invited to family dinner next Friday. Wait, I should rephrase that - you’ve been _summoned_ to family dinner next Friday.”

“That sounds scary,” Duncan piped up from where he was doing his homework at the kitchen table, not lifting his head from his math textbook. His hair hung in front of his eyes - Brienne had found it unbearably cute when he'd told her that he decided to let it grow out, undoubtedly to emulate Jaime. 

Brienne flopped back onto the couch where she was resting her feet on Jaime’s orders. He’d begun coming over once a week to have dinner with them, and between that and attending every one of Duncan’s swim meets, he was already starting to become a fixture in their lives. But besides the birthday party, they’d only interacted on Tarth turf, so Brienne was more than a little apprehensive about having dinner with the Lannister family in their territory.

“That does sound a little ominous,” she agreed, watching Jaime toss carrots and tomatoes into the salad bowl. The corner of his mouth quirked up.

“Don’t worry. I’ll protect you.” He looked over at her and winked, and she blushed so hot that she was sure he’d be able to feel the heat across the apartment.

“They’re not _that_ scary,” Jaime continued. “They just...have a different way of communicating.”

Duncan gasped. “Are they telepathic?” 

“No,” Jaime laughed. “They’re just not really the type to share feelings. Unless the feeling is disappointment.” He circled around to the table and put his hand on Duncan’s shoulder. “But seriously, don’t worry about it. We’ll get this out of the way and then hopefully we can go about our life with minimal Lannister interaction.”

_Our life_ , Brienne noticed. She couldn’t help the smile that crept across her face watching Jaime lean over Duncan to see what he was working on. Even though they hadn’t yet said it in words, observing Jaime and Duncan’s obvious love for one another made her anxiety about facing the Lannister family melt away. They’d always have that, no matter what the Lannisters threw at them.

***

After dinner, Jaime cleaned up while Brienne helped Duncan finish his homework. Afterward, he asked Jaime if he could stay to watch the newest episode of his favorite show, _Star Voyage_ , which was set, of course, in space. Jaime raised his eyebrows at Brienne as if to ask permission since he’d never stayed long after dinner. 

“Of course,” she smiled, and they settled onto the couch, Duncan in the middle, to watch the denizens of a far-future space station fight off alien foes and navigate various interpersonal relationships. Brienne noted that she may have to spring for a new couch sometime in the near future, as this one was just barely big enough for two large adults and one large preteen.

Duncan leaned forward, elbows on his knees, as Brienne and Jaime leaned back. She caught his eye from across the couch, and he smiled and draped his arm along the back of it. If she were braver, she’d do the same and press her arm to his, but as it were, she just smiled and turned toward the TV. 

Brienne didn’t mind the show, but she’d certainly never enjoyed it as much as that night, with Jaime asking Duncan to explain who certain characters were or what was happening in the plot, and laughing when Duncan groaned and buried his hands in his face at two characters kissing. She found herself wishing Jaime could be there to watch TV with them every night...and imagined what might happen if he stayed after Duncan went to bed.

Just as quickly, her logical brain reminded her that he was only here for Duncan. He'd never properly made a move on her, but the way he sometimes looked at her or brushed against her in the kitchen or the hallway _seemed_ purposeful. Whatever its purpose to him, it only served to make her frustrated and confused, but she’d decided at the very beginning of this to put aside her personal feelings to do what was best for Duncan. If the vibrator hidden safely in her bedside table got a little more use now than it did before, well, she’d just have to invest in more batteries.

When the show was done, Brienne told Duncan to go brush his teeth and was left on the couch with Jaime, still quite close despite the space Duncan had just vacated. “Thanks for letting me stay,” he said, turning toward her. 

“Jaime, of course. You’re always welcome here. Although if we’re going to do this more often, I might have to invest in a bigger couch,” she laughed, stretching her cramped legs. 

Jaime smiled back. “I know, I just don’t want to intrude on your time together. It’s just been you two for so long…”

She gave in to her urge to touch him, laying a reassuring hand on his forearm. “And now you’re here too. Duncan adores you. I want you two to have as much time together as you can.”

He looked at her hand on his forearm. “What about you?”

“What do you mean?” 

“Do you _adore me_ too?” His voice was light, his smile teasing, but there was still a charge in the air amplified by the feel of her palm on his skin.

Brienne lifted a shoulder. “I think you’re okay.” A smile spread across her face, which Jaime answered with one of his own.

Duncan came back into the room just then, looking curiously at Brienne’s hand on Jaime’s forearm before she had the chance to pull it back. 

“Night Mom, night Jaime,” he said, hugging them both in turn.

“Goodnight, bud. And good luck on your test tomorrow,” Jaime said, then watched him walk to his room.

They turned back to each other, the atmosphere of the room slightly diminished by Duncan’s interruption. Jaime gestured to the door. “I should probably…”

“Yeah, of course,” Brienne said, rising from the couch to retrieve Jaime’s shirt from where it was still draped over the back of a chair. Her fingers brushed his as she handed it to him.

“Okay, well, I’ll see you at Duncan’s meet this weekend?” Jaime said while he pulled his shirt back on.

Brienne nodded. The first few times, she’d tried to emphasize that he didn’t _have_ to come, but he’d been quick to assure her that he _wanted_ to. 

He fastened the last button at his throat and held out his arms, their customary goodbye hug lasting maybe a breath longer than normal. The front of Brienne’s body still tingled where it had been pressed to his even after the door closed behind him. 

The next day, she walked to her car after work and found a small white envelope tucked under the windshield wiper. Inside was a gift card for a generous amount to a local furniture store with a hand-scrawled note.

Brienne read the note once, shook her head and smiled. She pressed the envelope to her heart briefly before reading it again.

> _For a bigger couch._
> 
> _-J_


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with Tywin.

Brienne fussed with Duncan’s collar and straightened his tie for the sixth time, nervous energy flowing through her fingertips. They stood outside Tywin Lannister’s mansion, which sat on top of a hill overlooking King’s Landing, and she thought she might appreciate the view on a different day – one on which she wasn’t about to meet the extremely intimidating patriarch of the Lannister clan, amongst others. 

Jaime shut the car door and walked up behind them, looking far more casual in a light blue polo shirt and khakis. Even though he told them they didn’t have to dress up, Brienne still wore a dress and told Duncan to wear a tie, figuring the Lannister family as one that formed solid first impressions based on appearance. Jaime had insisted on picking them up, which Brienne didn’t argue against – his presence had already served to calm her even before they’d walked in the door. 

Her heart still hammered in her chest when Jaime led them up to the door of the mansion, which was done in a Dornish-Gothic style complete with buttresses and arched windows and a fountain in its circle drive. Brienne smirked and thought, _so this is where Cersei gets her taste in architecture._

All too soon, Jaime was swinging the heavy wooden door open and ushering them inside. The interior of the mansion was no less ornate, with paintings in gilded frames lining the walls and ancient-looking vases standing on tables in the middle of the hallway. “Don’t touch anything,” Brienne leaned down and whispered to Duncan, who just shook his head, his eyes wide as saucers. 

They followed Jaime down the hall and into a sitting room filled with plush velvet couches, bookshelves lined with leatherbound volumes, and a huge stone fireplace. Brienne spotted Cersei first, sitting in a chair in front of the window, wine glass in hand. Cersei looked up, her eyes narrowing for just a moment before pressing her lips into a thin smile. 

Immediately, Tommen, the plump, blonde boy from the birthday party, sprung up off the couch and stopped a few inches in front of Duncan. 

“Hey! We’re cousins!” he exclaimed, tipping his head up to look at Duncan. “I brought my lightswords! Do you wanna come see?”

“Tommen,” Cersei chided. “We haven’t even met young Duncan yet. Give him a moment to get introduced to the family.” She rose from her chair with impossible grace and walked to Duncan. “Hello, I’m Cersei. Your aunt.” She held her hand in front of him almost as if she wanted him to kiss it, but he just grabbed her fingers and shook them awkwardly. 

“Hello, ma’am.” A grimace flashed across Cersei’s face at being called ‘ma’am,’ but it was replaced just as quickly with a plastic smile. “Please, call me Cersei.” Turning her head, she said dully, “Hello, Brienne.”

“Hello, Cersei,” she answered, with just as much enthusiasm.

Tyrion hopped off another couch and walked toward them. “Brienne,” he said as he grabbed her hand. “How lovely to see you again.” He pressed an extravagant kiss to the back of it, making her blush and smile in spite of herself, before turning toward her son. “And this must be the famous Duncan,” he said in a courtly voice, holding out his hand for Duncan to shake. “I’m Tyrion, Jaime’s younger yet much taller brother.” Duncan laughed, and Brienne sent a silent thanks to Tyrion for breaking some of the tension. “You certainly do favor your father,” Tyrion said in a voice that was more serious now, but clearly full of fondness. 

Still sitting in a chair in the corner was an older man, clearly tall and wiry, with broad shoulders and closely-cropped gray hair. His eyes were an icy pale green, and Brienne could almost feel them sizing her and Duncan up.

Jaime placed his hands on her and Duncan’s shoulders, steering them toward the chair, and kept them there protectively while speaking. 

“Dad, this is Brienne. Brienne, this is my father, Tywin. And this is Duncan.”

Tywin stood then, unfolding to his full height, which was just shorter than Brienne’s. Despite this, she still felt as though he was looking down his nose at her.

Brienne straightened and held out her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Lannister.”

Tywin took it firmly and pumped it twice. “Miss Tarth. I’m glad my son has finally decided to let you meet us.” She heard Jaime sigh behind her.

Tywin turned to Duncan, appraising him with his pale eyes. “Duncan. Pleased to meet you.”

“Pleased to meet you too, sir.” Duncan held his hand out for Tywin to shake, and Brienne could have sworn that Tywin looked momentarily impressed at Duncan’s grip.

“Can we go play now?” Tommen said impatiently, looking at his mother. Cersei inclined her head, so Brienne nodded at Duncan. Watching the boys’ backs recede through the door they’d just come through, Brienne felt something close to envy. If only she could go play with toys instead of being subjected to the awkwardness that was sure to come. 

“Cersei, I thought Robert was coming tonight,” Jaime remarked lightly. 

Her mouth twisted into an approximation of a smile. “Called away to Braavos on business. You know how it is.”

Jaime hummed noncommittally, and Brienne filed it away to ask him about later.

Tywin sat back down in his chair, so the others followed suit, Jaime ushering Brienne to a green velvet couch. She found herself lamenting her decision to wear a dress as she sat on the low couch and tried to arrange her too-long legs in a demure position.

“So, Miss Tarth. My son tells me you’re a public school teacher,” Tywin said with barely-disguised derision.

Brienne held her head up and answered proudly. “I am. I teach third grade at Visenya Elementary. It’s a great school.”

Tywin tipped up his chin and hummed. Brienne maintained eye contact, almost daring him to contradict her.

“And Duncan is attending King’s Landing Academy? Very good,” he nodded.

“Duncan is in advanced math and science classes,” Jaime piped up.

“Hm. He must get that from you, Miss Tarth,” Tywin said dryly.

Tyrion gasped. “Maybe he gets it from me,” he said, faux-offended.

“Pray to the seven he didn’t get anything from you,” Cersei mumbled under her breath. 

" _Alright,_ ” Jaime interjected, just as a plump woman in a white apron came through a side door.

“Mr. Lannister, dinner is ready,” she said as she wiped her hands on her apron.

 _Of course they have a chef_ , Brienne thought.

“Thank you, Alysanne. Children,” Tywin said gruffly in a way that made Brienne feel much younger than her 35 years. The Lannister siblings must have felt it too, because they all sprung to their feet with a quickness and made their way to the door Alysanne had just come through. 

“Tommen!” Cersei called, in the direction of clacking noises coming from the hallway. Tommen and Duncan came running in, red-faced and smiling, with their lightswords still lit up in their hands. Brienne gave Duncan a look that was universally understood by children, and he immediately switched off his lightsword and put it down on a side table. Brienne pushed his sweaty hair back from his face and straightened his tie again before they walked into the dining room.

She had to stifle the gasp that threatened to escape from her mouth when she saw the spread on the dining room table. It looked like the fanciest holiday dinner she’d ever had, even though it was only a typical Friday - two types of roasted meat, countless salads, potatoes, vegetables, gravies and sauces in their own tiny crystal bowls. She heard Duncan mumble “whoa” under his breath beside her.

Jaime gestured to a chair for her, with Duncan sitting beside her, and Jaime on the other side. Tyrion, Cersei and Tommen sat across the table from them, with Tywin at the head. Brienne sat up straight as an arrow, hands primly in her lap, unused to this sort of luxury for a simple dinner. She looked over at Jaime, who turned toward her and pressed his lips into an almost apologetic smile, and thought he looked like he’d also rather be in the tiny kitchen of her apartment than at this huge, dark-wood dining table.

With no ceremony, Tywin began passing platters around. Brienne didn’t know why she’d expected some sort of prayer to the Seven or speech or something, but felt relieved when it didn't come. She had to admit that the food _did_ look amazing, and she took a little of everything and made sure Duncan took some of everything too. Not that Tywin actually had anything to do with preparing the food, but she didn’t want to give him any reason to be offended.

After all the platters and bowls were passed around, Tywin began his questioning of Duncan. 

“Duncan, Jaime tells me you’re very good at math and science.”

Duncan shrugged, customarily modest, and said, “Yeah, I guess. I just like it.” 

“Have you given any thought to what you want to be when you grow up?”

“A professional swimmer,” he said without hesitation.

Tywin made a sound that would have almost registered as a laugh from a different person. “Athletic ability doesn’t last forever. You know, Lannister Holdings has a huge need for people who like numbers.”

“Dad, he’s 12,” Jaime interrupted. “Let him dream.”

“Never too early to start being _realistic_ about the future, son.”

“At least give him until high school until you start crushing his spirits,” Jaime groused under his breath.

In an effort to deflect questioning off of her son, Brienne turned to Cersei. “Cersei, what do you do?” 

“I stay home with my children,” she answered in a self-important tone.

Brienne remembered the army of chefs, housekeepers, and other various hired help swarming around Cersei’s huge house at the birthday party, along with one child in school and another in a different province, and almost wondered aloud what she actually _did_ all day.

“A worthy pursuit, my girl,” Tywin said, patting her hand condescendingly. 

Cersei’s tight smile didn’t reach her eyes, and she took another swig of her wine. 

Blessedly, Tommen began an animated story about his cats, and the adults went back to silently eating, with the occasional aside from Jaime or Tyrion about something at work and more prodding from Tywin about Duncan’s academic performance and career aspirations. Jaime gently nudged him toward topics he was much more comfortable discussing, including his swimming records and other hobbies. Jaime's protectiveness and parental intuition in the moment made Brienne's heart flutter.

Tywin’s interest in Duncan wasn’t exactly worrisome, but it was definitely unexpected after hearing stories from Jaime about what a hands-off parent he’d been after their mother died. It seemed the only oversight he provided his children was in regards to their careers, and it was less guidance and more just telling them what they were going to do with their lives. Brienne felt slightly suffocated by it all, and she wasn’t even technically part of the family.

The rest of the dinner passed uneventfully enough in a state of quiet tension which none of the Lannisters seemed to register, making Brienne guess this was their default state. It was so unlike her and Duncan’s dinners with her father back on Tarth, huddled around his little kitchen table laughing and joking, and she found herself pitying the Lannister siblings in spite of all their material wealth. 

Despite the decadence of the meal, there was no dessert, which did not surprise Brienne – Tywin didn’t seem the type to encourage treating oneself. When their plates were cleared, Tommen asked if he and Duncan could go play some more, but Cersei made the excuse that Tommen needed to get home to do homework, even though it was Friday. Brienne hadn't assumed the Lannisters were a board-games-after-dinner type of family, but she’d expected at least a little post-dinner idling. 

Cersei and Tommen left with polite goodbyes, and Tyrion followed soon after (though he did kiss Brienne’s hand again and gave Duncan a warm clasp on the shoulder). Tywin walked Brienne, Duncan and Jaime to the door, promising to show Duncan around the company whenever he wanted. He shook all three of their hands brusquely and shut the door behind them.

Once again, she thought back to her father on Tarth and his huge, warm bear hugs, and had the overwhelming urge to wrap Jaime in her arms. As they got into the car, she turned toward him and found he was looking at her intently.

“What?” she asked, furrowing her brow.

“Nothing. Just making sure you’re not going to start booking your one-way plane tickets back to Tarth.”

She laughed. “That was...actually not as bad as I’d feared. Not necessarily something I’d like to do every week though.”

“Oh, certainly not. Now that I’ve appeased him by letting him meet you, it’s holidays and special occasions only.”

Brienne nodded in agreement. “Your father seemed very interested in Duncan, although I’m not sure it’s for the right reasons.”

“He’s just excited to have a family member who might be his true successor in business since everyone else has proven to be such a disappointment. Although,” he turned toward Duncan in the backseat, who was violently loosening his tie, “you can do whatever you want when you grow up. Don’t let my father make you think you _have_ to work for Lannister Holdings.”

“I don’t think I want to,” Duncan said, shaking his head fervently.

“Well, that's settled then.” Jaime smiled and turned back around, pulling down the long winding drive.

“Why doesn’t Cersei work for the company?” Brienne asked, remembering her and Tywin’s strange interaction from earlier.

“She wanted to, but dad wouldn’t let her. He still thinks a woman’s place is at home.” His face crinkled in distaste. “It’s caused a lot of strain in the family, as you can imagine. Especially since he got Tyrion a job right out of college, and he’s always been kind of a fuck-up. Pardon my language,” he said over his shoulder to an oblivious Duncan. “To be fair, she would probably be great at it, seeing as how she’s the most cutthroat person I know. But dad told her in no uncertain terms that even if she did get a job there on her own merits, he would see to it that she’d never make it past entry level.”

“And her husband?”

“Has no idea what she does, and doesn’t really care as long as he’s free to go on his ‘business trips’ whenever he likes.”

“That’s sad,” she said, in slight disbelief at feeling any sort of empathy for Cersei.

“Don't feel too bad for her. She could have gotten another job, but she was so obsessed with ‘the family legacy’ that she wouldn't lower herself to that level. And, between you and me,” he lowered his voice conspiratorially, “she has plenty of pretty young men to keep her company when Robert’s away.”

Brienne’s eyes widened. Although her father had a rotating cast of girlfriends after Brienne’s mother died, it was always only one at a time, and he’d made it clear that she was never to tolerate infidelity in a relationship. A marriage where both partners cheated was beyond her scope of imagination. 

“So is it...an open marriage?” 

Jaime huffed. “Absolutely not. Robert’s cheating is what I’d call an open secret, but they don’t talk about it, and he’d divorce her so fast if he found out about hers. She’s just much more careful.”

“Why do they even stay married?” Brienne wondered.

“King’s Landing society doesn’t look too well upon divorce. Even though the Lannister name is well-respected, Cersei wouldn’t have nearly the pull she does without Robert. And society is all Cersei has, so she grins and bears it.”

Brienne made a sound of disgust. “No thank you. I’d rather be happy on a teacher’s salary.”

Jaime laughed, then was quiet for a while before asking abruptly, “Do you want ice cream?”

“I want ice cream,” Duncan piped up from the backseat. He’d always had a bottomless stomach, but it had become even more pronounced over the past year, with a ridiculous percentage of Brienne’s paycheck going toward groceries.

She smiled and shrugged. “Sure, why not.” 

A few minutes later, Jaime pulled into the parking lot of a small, rather run-down ice cream stand close to her apartment that she and Duncan had driven by many times but never stopped at. 

Brienne looked at him quizzically. “This place?”

He gasped dramatically. “ _This place_ has the best ice cream in the city. I’m disappointed that you’d be so quick to judge a book by its cover.”

“No, no, it’s not that, it’s just not the kind of place I’d expect you to frequent.”

“Oh, so now you’re judging _me_ ,” he teased, the warmth in her chest growing with his smile.

She threw her arms up in cartoony exasperation before climbing out of the car. “I’m sorry, okay. I was not judging you or your ice cream stand. Now let us please taste this purported best ice cream in the city.”

Jaime shot her a grin and made his way to the window, Duncan on his heels. Brienne told him to order since he was familiar with the place, but immediately regretted that decision once he began to order seemingly one of everything on the menu. He assured her they’d finish it all once they tasted how good it was.

A few minutes later, they were sat at a rickety picnic table with a smorgasbord of ice cream laid out in front of them - a hot fudge sundae, a banana split, a chocolate chip cookie sandwich, a root beer float, and several cups of different flavors. 

“There is no way we are going to eat all this,” she said as Duncan dug enthusiastically into his first cup of ice cream, but after taking a bite of the hot fudge sundae, she wasn’t so sure about that. It really was the best ice cream she’d ever tasted - creamy, sweet but not too sweet, immaculately flavored, and she couldn’t help but close her eyes and let her head fall back as it melted in her mouth.

When she opened her eyes again, Jaime was looking intensely at her while sucking on his plastic spoon and arching one eyebrow. She forgot to breathe for a second and was only snapped out of her daze by Duncan’s arm reaching across her to break off a piece of the cookie sandwich. She cleared her throat and turned her attention back to the ice cream, taking a spoonful of the black raspberry chocolate chip.

They continued to eat like that, reaching over the table and swatting each other’s spoons away playfully, until all that was left were a few crumbs and some melty pools at the bottom of dishes. Brienne finally put her spoon down and leaned forward on her elbows, groaning. 

Jaime raised that godsforsaken eyebrow at her again. “Well, was I right?”

“I hate to admit it, but yes, you were right.”

“Definitely,” Duncan said from next to her before tipping a cup back into his mouth to get the last remaining dregs of melted ice cream.

They sat there even after their ice cream was gone, with Duncan explaining a cool science experiment he’d done at school, Brienne relating the funny and ridiculous things her students had said that week, and Jaime asking questions about the latest book release in Duncan’s favorite sci-fi series.

She rested her chin on her hands, looking back and forth between Jaime and Duncan, and felt warmth flood from her chest throughout her body. The bitter taste left in her mouth from dinner with the Lannisters had been literally and figuratively washed away. _This_ , she thought. _This is what a family dinner should feel like._

The next week, Jaime walked into her apartment for dinner holding a carrier tray filled with ice cream from the little stand. Brienne raised her eyebrows questioningly.

Jaime set the tray down, put his hands in his pockets and shrugged in an uncharacteristically bashful gesture. “I thought maybe it could be a tradition.”

After dinner and ice cream, as they settled much more comfortably on her new couch to watch Star Voyage, she thought about the traditions they’d already made and the ones to come. In her memories, it was always her and Duncan, just the two of them, but in her dreams of the future, there were always three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tywin’s house is based on the architecture of Seville (aka TV Dorne).  
> Lightsword = lightsaber.  
> Apologies to those who wanted a big blow-out at dinner - this is ultimately a fluffy family fic and will be quite light on the angst.  
> Thanks to the incomparable SDWolfpup for making this chapter so much better!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime and Duncan go camping...and Brienne comes to a realization.

“You're sure you have everything?” Brienne wrung her hands and paced around as Duncan finished packing his duffel bag. 

“Yes, mom, it’s only two nights,” he huffed.

A few weeks earlier, Jaime had mentioned that his and Tommen’s annual camping trip was coming up and suggested Duncan come with them. Brienne and Duncan had done a fair bit of camping with her father on Tarth, but Duncan had never gone with anyone but them. Although she trusted Jaime implicitly, the thought of sending Duncan out into an unfamiliar wilderness still frayed her nerves – even if the “wilderness” in question was really just a large farmstead owned by a Lannister cousin an hour outside the city. 

There was a stable with horses, though, which Duncan was most excited about. Tommen had his own horse stabled there, and Jaime had promised Duncan he’d teach him how to ride. Horseback riding was a popular tourist activity on Tarth, but Brienne had always preferred the beach and water sports to clomping around in the forests. Duncan hadn’t stopped talking about it since Brienne had said yes, and his excitement helped her push past her nerves about the situation. She’d kept Duncan quite close on Tarth, which he never seemed to mind, but now that he was older and in a new environment, she knew that she needed to let go a little and allow him to expand his horizons. 

Brienne tried not to pace as they waited for Jaime. He’d reassured her multiple times that he would send her a pin of their exact location and text her photos and updates regularly. She appreciated that he didn’t try to make her feel ridiculous for being so anxious or offended that she didn’t trust him. She really _was_ excited for Duncan to have a chance to bond with his cousin and his father, and the idea of a quiet weekend all to herself didn’t sound too bad, either.

Just then, a knock came at the door. Duncan was there even before the knocking ended, throwing the door open and smiling brightly. Jaime stood in the doorway, looking more attractive than he had any right to in a fitted black long-sleeve shirt, tan utility pants, hiking boots, and a bandana around his neck. Brienne bit her lip on instinct and tried not to make her staring too obvious. She definitely thought he noticed, though, because his chest puffed out a little and the corner of his mouth quirked up.

“Jaime! Just let me get my bag and then I’m ready to go!” Duncan said excitedly, running into his room. 

Jaime stepped inside and put his hands in his pockets. “You’re still okay with this?”

“Of course. I’m excited for you guys. I’m just…” she shrugged. “Not used to being without him.”

“Hey, it’ll be fine,” he said in a reassuring tone, gripping her forearm gently and brushing his thumb against it. “I’ll take good care of him.” 

She hoped he didn’t feel the slight tremor that went through her at his touch. “I know. And thanks for inviting him - hopefully Tommen’s not the jealous type.”

Jaime chuckled. “Oh, definitely not. He can’t wait to introduce Duncan to his horse.”

“Ready!” Duncan shouted, bag slung over his shoulder. Brienne gave him a hard squeeze and a kiss on the top of the head before he practically ran out the door ahead of Jaime. 

“Well, I guess we’re going now,” Jaime remarked with a smile. “What are you going to do with your free weekend?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Eat junk food and watch R-rated movies. Maybe have a rager,” she said wryly. 

“Don’t get too crazy,” Jaime laughed. “But let me know if you need me to keep him later on Sunday.” He winked, and Brienne struggled to keep her legs under her.

He bade her goodbye and promised again to keep her updated, then jogged out the door to catch up with Duncan. 

Brienne leaned in the doorway and watched them go, Duncan chattering excitedly while Jaime threw his bag in the trunk of the car, and waved as they pulled out of the parking lot. The quiet they left behind was both peaceful and somewhat empty. 

Her phone chimed just a few hours later with a photo of Duncan and Tommen standing in front of their tent and the caption, “They set it up themselves! Hopefully it doesn’t fall in on us during the night…” She laughed and set it down, then picked up her book and cozied into the couch.

The photos Jaime sent throughout the weekend showed him, Duncan, and Tommen hiking through the Kingswood; roasting marshmallows around a campfire; and Duncan (wearing a helmet, she noted with relief) smiling ear to ear atop a beautiful, dappled horse. In between these updates, Brienne made the most of her time alone by cleaning the apartment from top to bottom, watching some sappy romantic movies, reading, and taking a long, luxurious bubble bath. 

On Sunday, instead of a text, she received a phone call. Figuring it was Jaime calling to tell her they were packing up, she was surprised to hear Duncan’s voice on the other end. 

“Mom? Don’t freak out, but we’re driving to the hospital.”

“What?!” she freaked out. “The hospital? Are you ok?”

“Yeah, it’s not me, it’s Jaime. We went horseback riding today, and the horse got spooked and threw me off, and it was about to crush me, and Jaime pulled me out of the way, and its hoof came down right on his hand. So now we’re driving to the hospital and he asked me to call you.” Duncan talked so fast that he had to suck in a big breath of air when he was done.

Brienne was already up and collecting her keys and purse. “Oh, gods. Ok, I’m on my way.” 

Her heart pounded as she drove the 20 minutes to the hospital. She tried to reassure herself with repetitions of “it’s just his hand” and “he was still able to drive” and “Duncan is ok,” but the amount of worry she felt for him surprised her. She supposed it shouldn’t have, since he’d become such a part of their lives over the past months, but the fact that she was almost as upset as she would have been if Duncan had been hurt was slightly jarring.

Brienne parked and hurried into the emergency room entrance. She knew she would be ahead of Jaime and the boys because of her proximity to the hospital, so she sat and waited, fiddling nervously with the zipper on her purse and scrolling back through the photos Jaime had sent throughout the weekend. She downloaded her favorite one, a selfie of Jaime and Duncan on a ridge looking over the Godswood, and made it her phone wallpaper. Brienne watched the door and jumped up when she saw Duncan and Tommen come through, followed by Jaime clutching his right hand to his body. It was wrapped in what looked like a t-shirt, and a grimace twisted his face.

She gave the boys a quick hug and turned to Jaime. “What did you do?” she fretted, first putting her hands around his face and then moving them down to his shoulders and arms as if looking for more injuries. 

“It was nothing,” he croaked. 

“It doesn’t look like nothing,” she frowned. She steered him to the intake counter with a hand on his upper back and stood next to him as he explained to the nurse what happened. He was given some forms to fill out, which he couldn’t do with a crushed right hand, so he dictated his answers to Brienne. They sat and waited quietly in hard plastic chairs, Duncan and Tommen playing a game on Jaime’s phone, until a nurse called Jaime’s name. Brienne didn’t realize until they stood up that she’d been holding his left hand the whole time. 

Jaime turned to Brienne. “I think I’m ok from here. You should get the boys home.”

“But you’ll need a ride. I’m guessing they’ll give you some strong pain medication...you can’t drive on that.”

“I’ll call Tyrion to come get me.”

“Have him bring you over to our house. You’re not staying at home alone tonight.”

“Brienne, it’s just my hand.”

“Your _right_ hand, so you’re going to need help. You’re staying at our place tonight and that’s final,” Brienne said in her practiced stern-mom voice.

Jaime raised an eyebrow at her. “Have you always been this stubborn?”

She smiled in spite of herself. “Yes. You’ve luckily just never had to see it before.”

He let out an abrupt laugh. “Ok. I’ll call when I’m on my way.”

Jaime hugged the boys with one arm and turned to Brienne, who took his left hand in both of hers and squeezed, hoping her appreciation and affection came through in the gesture.

After dropping Tommen off at his house, blessedly avoiding a Cersei interaction when the nanny came to the door, Brienne and Duncan walked into their apartment and sat down quietly on the couch. The events of the day had worn on Brienne, so she couldn’t imagine how Duncan felt having been there when Jaime’s accident happened. 

She looked over at her son and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Are you ok?”

Duncan kept his head down, eyes trained on the floor. “I can’t believe he did that for me. He could have died.”

Though she thought that might have been a bit dramatic, tears still sprang to Brienne’s eyes and she gathered Duncan in her arms and rested her chin on top of his head. 

“Of course he did that for you. You’re his son. He loves you.”

“I love him too. I haven’t told him though.”

“Maybe now is a good time.”

He nodded into her chest, and she placed a kiss on top of his head before releasing him. He got up and walked into his room, and Brienne was left on the couch in the quiet living room. She gripped her phone in her hands, waiting for Jaime’s call, and thought about what Duncan said. 

Jaime put his body on the line to protect their son. She would have done the same, of course, but Duncan had grown inside her and she’d raised him from his first moments of life. Jaime had known him for less than a year now, and he’d still done it. Not only that, but he’d rearranged his life to fit both of them in, and had been a constant, solid presence in their lives ever since. She looked forward to every time they’d see him and thought about him when he wasn’t there. Her heart fluttered when she saw his name flash on her phone screen.

The awareness hit her like a bolt of lightning.

Gods, she loved him.

Of course she’d known deep-down for a long time. She may have fallen a little in love with him the first time she’d seen him at that bar in Lys so many years ago – who wouldn’t? 

But getting to know him so much better over these past months, seeing him with Duncan, allowing him to fill the perfectly Jaime-sized hole she didn’t know existed in her life, took that little spark and nurtured it into a full-blown blaze inside her. She’d been able to write it off as physical attraction previously, but now that she’d acknowledged the truth, she didn’t know what to do with it. She couldn’t take her own advice to Duncan and just tell him – it was much more complicated than that. Besides, she knew Jaime loved Duncan, and his feelings for Brienne were a little less clear. 

She nearly jumped when her phone rang, Jaime’s white grin appearing on the screen.

“Hey, what did they say?” she blurted out by way of greeting.

“Several fractures, but no serious breaks. I don’t need surgery but I do have to be in a cast for the next few weeks, and then physical therapy. But they said they’re confident I’ll regain full range of motion,” he said in a pompous doctor’s voice. 

Relief washed over her. “Oh, good. Are you on your way?”

“Yeah, almost there. I just have to stop by my place and grab a few things.”

“Okay, I’ll see you then.”

They said their goodbyes and Brienne went into Duncan’s room to tell him the news, at which he looked relieved, too. 

An interminable amount of time later, there was a knock on the door. Brienne jumped up and pulled the door open to find Jaime with his right hand in a cast and sling, his other holding an overnight bag. She resisted her urge to reach out for him and stepped aside so he could enter.

Duncan came out of his room then, looking uncharacteristically sheepish, and walked up to Jaime, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in Jaime’s chest. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled into Jaime’s shirt. 

Jaime knelt down and squeezed Duncan’s arm with his left hand. “Hey. It’s not your fault. And I’m fine, see?” He held up his right arm. “Just a little cast for a few weeks and then I’ll be as good as new. Maybe you can help me come up with an even cooler story about how I hurt it.” Duncan smiled and nodded, then plopped down onto the couch with a comic book. 

Jaime picked his bag back up. “Where should I…” he started, looking expectantly at Brienne, who looked awkwardly back at him. She hadn't really thought through the mechanics of Jaime staying the night - they didn’t have a guest room, and although the couch was big, it wasn’t big enough to avoid the risk of him rolling off in the night onto his injured hand.

"Oh, you can put that in my bedroom. I’ll take the couch tonight.”

“No, I’m not taking your bed. The couch is fine.”

“Jaime. You’re hurt. I won’t have you crammed on the couch rolling over onto your hand.”

“I’m just as likely to roll over onto my hand in a bed as I am on the couch.”

Brienne tried not to let her mind wander to Jaime in bed and fixed him with her best obstinate gaze. They stood at an impasse for a moment, Brienne willing her cheeks not to redden as she stared into Jaime’s eyes, and she saw the moment he decided to acquiesce. 

“Fine,” he sighed, dropping his shoulders. “But it’s only for tonight.”

She followed him into her bedroom, where he dropped his bag next to the bed. She realized then that despite having been to their apartment countless times, he'd never actually been in her bedroom, and the intimacy of having him in her private space, standing so close to her _bed_ , made her stomach swoop. 

Brienne retreated to the kitchen to make dinner, both wanting to give him time to settle in and give herself space from him. After her realization earlier in the day, she found herself second-guessing her every interaction with him and hoping it wasn’t too obvious. The last thing she needed from him was his pity. 

They had dinner together with some odds and ends she’d pulled out of the refrigerator and watched a TV show before Duncan withdrew to his room to get ready for bed. 

Brienne looked over at Jaime. “How's your hand?”

“Achy. Itchy,” he laughed, then shrugged. “But overall not terrible. It was worth it.”

She smiled at him just as Duncan came back out to say goodnight.

He hugged Brienne first and said, “Night, mom, love you,” before moving to Jaime. 

“NightJaimeloveyou,” he mumbled quickly while hugging Jaime, and Jaime paused for a second before responding, “I love you too. Goodnight.”

Jaime watched Duncan walk back to his bedroom, then turned to Brienne with wide eyes. 

“He told me he loved me,” he said, sounding quite struck.

“Of course he loves you.” _We both do_ , she stopped herself from saying.

“I know. He’s just...never said it before. Feels good.” He grinned and settled back into the couch. 

Jaime had always left soon after Duncan went to bed, so Brienne wasn’t sure what to do next. She usually read, cleaned up, or turned on a show Duncan wouldn’t like, so she handed the remote to Jaime. “Here.”

He looked at the remote warily, then took it out of her hand. “You’re letting me pick what we watch next? Is this a trick?”

Brienne made a little gasp of indignation. “No! I’m trying to be a good host!”

“You don’t need to ‘host’ me. I feel more at home here than I do my actual home.”

Her heart did a stutter-step at that, and she turned her face toward the TV so he couldn’t see the flush in her cheeks.

He scrolled through the several streaming services they subscribed to and settled on an old movie about a mild-mannered college professor by day, daring adventurer by night. 

Brienne curled her legs under her on the couch, feeling like a teenager left alone with a crush for the first time. She tried to concentrate on the movie but found it difficult when Jaime was right next to her, lazing back with one of his knees pressed precariously close to hers. His comments and banter throughout the movie settled her nerves enough that by the end, her head was heavy on the back of the couch and her eyelids drooped. 

Before she knew what had happened, she opened her eyes and found her head on Jaime’s shoulder, with his resting on top of hers. The movie’s credits were rolling on screen. She stirred and Jaime sat up, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. He looked over at her, slightly confused, and muttered, “sorry. Didn’t mean to fall asleep.” 

She smiled shyly. “Don’t be sorry. It’s been a long day.”

Jaime nodded and stretched. “Guess that means it’s time for bed, huh?”

Brienne told him he could have the bathroom first and changed quickly in her bedroom. When she was finished, she exited the room just as Jaime opened the door to the bathroom with his shirt askew.

“I underestimated how hard it would be to unbutton this with one hand. I might need help.”

She stared at him blankly for a moment before realizing what he was asking her to do. 

“Oh. Right. Sure.” She concentrated on her fingers as they worked at the buttons of his olive-green utility shirt and tried not to let her gaze linger on the bronzed skin she revealed more of with each button. He smelled unreasonably good for someone who’d been in the woods for a weekend _and_ at the hospital for several hours. And they’d just taken a godsdamned _nap_ together. Her efforts to tamp down her feelings were being thwarted at every turn.

After she was done with his buttons, Jaime turned around and looked over his shoulder at her expectantly. _He wants me to take it off him_ , she realized, and took a shaky breath before bringing her fingers to the collar. She was careful not to touch his bare skin as she pulled the shirt down past his shoulders, but accidentally grazed her knuckles across his back when he shifted. She tried not to think too much into the spray of goosebumps that arose on his skin. Brienne pulled his left arm out of the sleeve and he turned to face her to help get the other sleeve off around his cast. 

Jaime was still as breathtaking as he was all those years ago - a little softer around the middle, perhaps, his chest hair a little grayer - but it didn’t dull his beauty in the least, or the ache she felt for him. Brienne allowed herself to look just for a moment before balling up his shirt and pushing it into his chest a little more aggressively than she’d intended. She gestured vaguely to his pants. “You’re good with…”

Jaime looked down. “Oh, yeah, I think I can handle that one.” 

Brienne nodded brusquely and fled out of the hallway, only letting out the breath she’d been holding after she heard the bathroom door close again. She grabbed a pillow and blanket from the linen closet to make up her bed on the couch while the water ran in the bathroom. Her hands were still shaking when Jaime let her know he was finished. 

After she finished in the bathroom, she came back out to see Jaime through the door in her room pulling back the covers of the bed. Mercifully, he’d managed to put a t-shirt on.

“Have everything you need?” she asked from the doorway. 

He looked up at her. “Yeah, I think so. Hey, I know I protested, but...thanks. For insisting I stay tonight. It’s nice to not be alone.”

“Any time,” she smiled. “Well, good night.” She backed up from the doorway, not trusting herself to get any closer to him. 

“Good night.” The soft raspiness of his voice did things to her she would rather not acknowledge, so she turned and retreated to the living room.

Stretching out on the couch, Brienne was now wide awake. Her stomach still fluttered and her pulse still raced. She thought about Jaime laying in her bed on the other side of the wall and reprimanded her body for reacting to the image so strongly. Her hand wandered to the waistband of her pants and, waiting for any noise from the other room to subside, slipped it into her underwear. She was obscenely wet and slid two fingers inside easily, clamping her other hand over her mouth as she stroked herself the way she’d become more than familiar with over the years. This time Brienne only had to think about throwing open the bedroom door and pouncing on the man in her bed to come hard and fast, muffling her whimpers with her hand. 

Her limbs went slack and she took a few deep breaths to stabilize her heart rate. She felt more relaxed now, albeit somewhat ashamed, but it did help her drift off to sleep.

An indefinite amount of time later, she woke with pins and needles in her arm and a crick in her neck. Though the couch was comfortable enough for sitting and napping, it left something to be desired for a full night’s sleep. She got up and, bending her head down to rub her neck, walked to the kitchen for a glass of water, smacking into another body that was ostensibly doing the same thing.

“Whoa, sorry,” they muttered in unison. Jaime’s left hand came up to grip Brienne’s arm, and he didn’t let go when she looked up at him, her hand still at the back of her neck. 

“I told you you wouldn’t be comfortable on that couch,” he said, so low she felt the reverberations through her spine. 

“No, it’s fine. Really. I just needed to stretch a little.”

He dropped his shoulders and fixed her with a stern look. “Brienne. It’s 1 a.m. and you have to work tomorrow. You can’t be exhausted. Just sleep in your bed.”

“I already told you I am not making you sleep on the couch.”

“Would it make you feel better if we both slept in the bed? It’s plenty big enough for both of us, and I promise I’ll be a gentleman.”

 _I’m no lady_ , she thought, but felt her resolve crumbling anyway. He had a point about the bed being big enough - it was a king, her one splurge when moving to King’s Landing, so big it took up nearly the whole bedroom.

“Fine,” Brienne said, trying to sound more assured than she felt. She got two glasses down from the cupboard and filled them at the sink, then followed Jaime into the still-dark bedroom. She handed him a glass and walked around to her side of the bed, threw the covers back and crawled in. She had to admit it did feel much better than the couch, but the dip in the mattress and the increase in body heat when Jaime settled in next to her made her heart hammer against her ribs. 

“Good night,” she said quickly and turned to face the wall. She squeezed her eyes shut and focused on her breathing until she heard his take on the familiar rhythm of sleep, and only then did she allow herself to relax enough to drift off, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED 😱  
> Jaime’s camping outfit is based on one NCW wears in his Greenland doc, which made me FURIOUS at how good he looked in it.  
> Thanks as always to my indispensable beta, sdwolfpup!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne formulates a plan and makes a confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: discussion of fertility struggles

Brienne emerged from a deep sleep the next morning to the beeping of her alarm and a warmth along her body. She’d rolled over in the night and was facing Jaime, with one leg thrown over his and her head pillowed on his left arm. She started awake and rolled over to turn her alarm off but was hindered by Jaime’s arm tightening around her and pulling her back in. He groaned sleepily and nuzzled his nose into her hair, and she was instantly transported back to their night in Lys, waking up tangled together in a sweaty, sated heap. 

Brienne’s body reacted immediately, sending a flood of warmth between her legs, and she tensed up before pushing away from him and rolling out of his grasp. She turned her alarm off and tiptoed to the bathroom, where she took a colder-than-usual shower before wrapping up in her robe and walking toward Duncan’s room to wake him. 

When she pushed his door open, he was already awake, sitting up in his bed with Jaime perched on the edge. Duncan rubbed the sleep from his eyes and smiled at something Jaime said, and Brienne didn’t have it in her to interrupt the scene, so she just leaned against the door and watched them. 

Duncan noticed her first and said “Morning, mom” in a drowsy voice. Jaime turned toward her, his eyes immediately dropping to the deep v neckline of her robe. Her cheeks flushed and she mumbled “time to get ready for school” over her shoulder while fleeing to her bedroom. 

When Brienne was ready, she came out to Duncan and Jaime sitting at the kitchen table eating bowls of Dragons & Stars, both laughing at Jaime’s shaky attempts at trying to eat cereal with his left hand. They looked so alike, right down to the identical strands of hair hanging down in front of their foreheads. She smiled at them and drank a cup of coffee at the kitchen counter before shepherding them out the door. 

After dropping Duncan off at school, she drove Jaime to his car, still in the hospital parking lot. 

He turned to Brienne as soon as she parked. “Thanks again, for everything. Especially the cuddle last night.” His smile was only slightly teasing, but her face flamed anyway.

She shook her head and looked down, smiling in spite of herself. “Sorry. I’m not used to–”

“No, don’t apologize. It was nice.” Jaime reached over himself to get his bag from the backseat.

Ignoring the flip of her heart, she asked, “you’re sure you’ll be okay in your apartment on your own?”

“I think so. I can work from home, and I’ll just have my food brought in. Although you may need to be on call if I need help undressing.”

“Alright, time to get out of my car,” she said in jest, pushing his shoulder gently. 

Jaime laughed and stepped out. 

“But seriously,” she said before he closed the door. “If you need anything, we’re here.”

He nodded and smiled genuinely. “I know.”

Brienne watched him get in his car and fumble with the keys for a moment before starting it and driving away, waving with his cast when he passed her.

While Brienne drove to work, she reviewed the events of the past 24 hours. Jaime had put his body on the line to protect Duncan’s safety; he and Duncan had exchanged their first “I love you”s; she’d finally admitted to herself that she loved him, too; and she’d (barely) survived sleeping with him in her bed.

She knew he wasn’t the sort to take things too seriously, but the casual way he joked about her undressing him and waking up tangled together had her doubting herself again. He’d never come out and said he was attracted to her, but he’d found her attractive once - attractive enough to have a night of amazing sex and get her accidentally pregnant, at least. Maybe she’d aged less gracefully than she thought, or maybe that night was just a momentary lapse in judgment on his part. Instead of clarifying things, she was more confused than ever after this weekend. 

When Brienne got to work, she decided what she needed was a girls’ night, so she texted Sansa and Margaery. Brienne had been so busy since moving to King’s Landing that she hadn’t seen much of them, and they knew her well enough to provide good advice even if they hadn’t been through this exact situation. 

As expected, Sansa and Marg were beyond excited about the prospect of a night out. After she texted Jaime to see when he was free to hang out with Duncan that week, they decided on Wednesday night at a little wine bar around the corner from Brienne’s apartment. She really couldn’t wait to see them, despite feeling slightly guilty that she’d been so preoccupied with Jaime that she hadn’t made much time for them.

By the time Wednesday rolled around, Brienne was so excited that she actually got dressed up for once, in a short black v-neck dress with a zipper down the front, black flats and a black leather jacket. She even touched up her makeup and was swiping on some red lipstick when she heard the door open and close. She slipped her shoes on and walked out to greet Jaime.

Jaime stood over Duncan’s shoulder where he sat at the kitchen table doing homework. They both raised their heads when she walked in. Jaime’s mouth fell open slightly, and his eyes raked up and down her body. Brienne hoped the makeup she’d just put on hid the burning flush in her cheeks. 

“You look pretty, mom,” Duncan said before turning his attention back to his math book. Jaime swallowed and said, “Yeah. You do,” while still looking at her.

“Thank you,” she tried to toss out casually, too aware of his eyes on her as she grabbed her keys and purse from the table next to the door. “And thanks for coming over tonight. It’s been way too long since I’ve seen Sansa and Marge.”

“Sure,” Jaime said, back to his usual jovial self. “Happy to. I’ve been wanting to introduce Duncan to The Nightmare on Eel Alley movies for a while,” he said with a sly grin.

“Don’t you dare,” Brienne warned, poking a finger into his chest as he laughed. She kissed Duncan on the forehead and told them she wouldn’t be too late before walking out the door.

***

Brienne swung open the door to the wine bar and saw Margaery and Sansa immediately, huddled together at a small table next to the wall. They held hands on top of the table and leaned their heads together, the candle in front of them illuminating their faces with a soft golden light. Brienne’s heart panged in her chest with both happiness and a bit of envy. She would have taken her phone out to document the lovely scene if Sansa wouldn’t have lifted her head and seen her, squealing “Brie!” and jumping up from the table.

Brienne grinned and made her way over, squeezing them both hard before sitting in the empty chair. She grabbed their hands and enveloped them with hers.

“Thank you so much for coming out tonight. I’m so sorry I haven’t made more time for you since I moved.”

Margaery waved her hand. “It’s fine! It must have been quite the adjustment from Tarth, for both of you. We’re just glad you seem to be settling in.”

“We are. Jaime’s been a big help.”

She didn’t miss the look that passed between Sansa and Margaery.

“We’ll come back to that topic later,” Margaery warned. “But first, we have some good news to share.”

Sansa smiled so big Brienne was worried her face might actually split in two. “We’re going to have a baby!”

Brienne’s mouth dropped open. “What?! I thought you said you were done trying?”

Several years prior, they’d tried for a baby, but after many failed rounds of IVF, a battery of tests, and both of them putting their bodies and hearts through the ringer, they’d decided it wasn't in the cards for them. It was just more proof to Brienne of the unfairness of the world that she got pregnant without even wanting to, and these wonderful, loving people who wanted a baby so desperately weren't able to make it happen.

Margaery began, “Well, we were, but then I saw this segment on the news about surrogacy…"

"...and we realized we hadn't really looked into that," finished Sansa. 

"So, out of curiosity, we just started calling agencies…"

"... and we found one we really liked…"

"... and one thing led to another…"

"... and our surrogate is 12 weeks today!"

Brienne's head whipped back and forth between them. She was still gaping at them when they finished, trying to process what they'd just told her. 

When her brain finally caught up, she practically yelled, "Oh my gods! This is amazing news!" and leaned over the table to envelop them in a hug. "I'm so excited for you." She felt tears pricking in her eyes as she watched her friends practically burst with happiness.

“We’re so excited too. I hope you’re ready for many 2 a.m. texts with stupid first-time parent questions,” smiled Sansa.

“There is no such thing as a stupid question when it comes to babies. Although it’s been so long since I went through that, I might have blocked it out of my mind,” Brienne laughed.

They ordered a bottle of wine and a cheese platter and talked excitedly, Margaery whipping out her phone to show Brienne the images from the first ultrasound. They told her they weren’t going to find out the sex of the baby ahead of time and discussed the names they’d already put on their list. 

Brienne took a long draw from her wine glass and gazed across the table at her friends.    


“I’m just so happy for you two. You really deserve it.”

Sansa grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Thank you. But don’t think you’re going to get us to talk about the baby this whole time. We want to talk about you.”

“And Jaime,” Margaery added.

Brienne groaned. “That’s the problem, there is no ‘me and Jaime.’ He’s just so confusing. He’s completely rearranged his life around Duncan and me, and he spends  _ a lot _ of time with both of us, but he’s never said anything or made any type of move. Did I tell you he stayed the night Sunday after he hurt his hand?”

Sansa and Margaery gasped. “No!”

“Yeah, he did. We both slept in my bed, and we woke up cuddling.” She ignored their squeals and pushed on. “But that morning, he was just so...cavalier about the whole thing. Laughing and joking about it, when I definitely didn’t feel like it was a joke.” She sighed heavily. “I don’t know. Sometimes when he looks at me I think there could be something there still, and there’s definitely something there on my end, but I just can’t figure him out.”

Her friends looked thoughtful for a moment. 

Margaery finally said, “What if he does have feelings for you and just doesn’t know how to tell you? You told us yourself that the Lannisters are terrible at feelings.”

“And from my limited experience with men, they do tend to use humor and jokes as a way to protect themselves,” added Sansa.

Brienne thought about that for a moment. “But he has no problem showing affection toward Duncan.”

Margaery scoffed. “A miracle in and of itself, knowing his family. But his relationship with Duncan is a lot less complicated than his relationship with you.”

“Exactly. It’s complicated. So what if I tell him how I feel and it messes everything up?”

“What’s the alternative, you dancing around each other for the rest of your lives until you die of stupidity-related exhaustion?”

Brienne buried her face in her hands. “But I  _ can’t _ just come out and tell him. You know how awkward I am on the best of days. It would be a disaster.”

“Ok, so maybe we need to make  _ him _ come out and tell  _ you _ .” Margaery folded her hands on the table and leaned toward Brienne seriously. “You need to make him jealous.”

Brienne frowned. “Make him jealous? How would I do that?”

Sansa piped up. “She has a point. Besides that one night in Lys, Jaime has only seen you as Mom Brienne. Maybe you need to remind him you’re a desirable, sexual woman in your own right.”

“And besides, when was the last time you went on an actual date? College?”

“Hey, I went on a few dates on Tarth!” Brienne protested.

Margaery looked at her with indignance. “A few dates. In 12 years. So this is necessary for a couple of reasons. You need to dust off your social skills, and Jaime needs to see that he has competition.”

Brienne whipped her head around dramatically. “I’m sorry, where is this competition you speak of? I’m a 36-year-old single mother. Men aren’t exactly lining up to date me.”

“But you haven’t exactly put yourself out there, either. There’s gotta be a cute teacher at work or a divorced swim dad or someone you could chat up. You don’t need to marry the guy, just ask him for coffee and make sure Jaime knows about it.”

Brienne considered the proposition. There  _ was _ a handsome gym teacher named Alyn that she regularly chatted with before school and ate lunch with sometimes, and she knew he was single, albeit quite a bit younger than her. She didn’t think he’d turn her down if she asked him for coffee, and she did enjoy his company. The worst that could happen was she’d get to try that new coffee shop she’d been wanting to check out. 

“You know what? That’s actually not a bad idea. But what if it has the opposite effect and it makes him back off even more?”

“Then you grab his face, tell him to stop being such an idiot, and kiss him.”

Brienne laughed despite the ridiculousness of that mental image. She shrugged. “Okay, I guess I could try it. The date thing. Not the ‘grabbing his face and kissing him’ thing.”

“I still think you should try that first,” Margaery mumbled.

They spent the rest of the evening catching up and updating each other on their lives, jobs and families. The time slipped by so fast that before they knew it, their waitress was dropping off their check and letting them know they’d be closing in 15 minutes. Brienne paid the bill and gave them both a long hug before they parted ways to walk to their cars.

She walked into the apartment a bit later than she’d expected to and found Jaime asleep on the couch, his ankles crossed and hands folded behind his head. Two bowls on the coffee table held the evidence of popcorn being consumed, and a romantic comedy was just finishing up on the screen. Brienne watched the two blandly attractive leads holding hands and kissing in a sunlit park for a few minutes. A wave of irrational anger bubbled up inside her at the ease with which all their problems were solved, and the unrealistic expectations these types of movies instilled in impressionable young minds. She picked up the remote, turned the TV off, and slammed the remote down harder than she’d intended, startling Jaime awake. 

“Sorry,” she said as she removed her jacket and hung it on the back of a chair.

Jaime rubbed his eyes and looked at his watch. “No, it’s fine. I’m guessing you had fun?”

“Yeah. It was great.”

“How are Sansa and Margaery?” Jaime asked, getting up off the couch to take the popcorn bowls to the sink. 

“They’re really good. They’re having a baby.” She tried to sound as excited as she’d felt when they’d told her, but an inexplicable tinge of sadness escaped from her voice.

“Oh, that’s great!” 

Brienne smiled a thin-lipped smile and nodded. “Thanks again for coming over tonight,” she told Jaime as he grabbed his coat.

“No problem. Anytime you want to get out, just let me know.”

She thought back to the plan she’d formulated earlier that night and felt suddenly guilty. “Okay. Well, goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” He flashed his million-dragon smile before stepping out the door and closing it lightly behind him.

Brienne sighed heavily. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea...but it was the only one she had.

The next day at work, as casually as possible, she asked Alyn if he would want to get coffee with her that weekend, to which he agreed more enthusiastically than she’d expected. 

When Jaime came over for dinner on Thursday, she worked up the courage to broach the topic with him. 

“Hey, on Saturday after Duncan’s meet, can you bring him home and maybe hang out for an hour or so? I’m going to meet a friend from work for coffee.”   


“Definitely,” he said, looking down at the salad he was assembling. “Which friend?”

“Alyn.” 

Jaime paused and looked up. 

“Alyn is…” 

“A man. Yes.”

“Is this like a date?”

“I’m...not really sure. Maybe?”

The silence, although it was no more than a second, seemed interminable to Brienne, before Jaime finally nodded quickly and said, “Yeah, sure, of course,” before turning back to his salad.

Dinner was only slightly awkward, filled mostly with Duncan’s chattering. Jaime did leave right after dinner instead of staying, his excuse of having an early meeting the next morning believable enough. 

At the swim meet on Saturday, Brienne couldn’t tell whether it was Jaime or her who was a little quieter than normal – their conversations felt stilted and unnatural, even more than when they’d first met. She was actually relieved when the awards were announced and the meet came to an end. Down at the entrance to the natatorium, waiting for Duncan to come out of the locker room, Jaime mentioned the date for the first time since she’d told him about it. 

“Stay out as long as you want this afternoon. I’ll take Duncan to a movie or something.”

Brienne tried to wave his assumption off. “Oh, I won’t need that long. It’s just coffee.” 

Jaime shrugged and turned away from her when Duncan ran up to them, already talking about their plans for the afternoon. The three of them walked out to the parking lot where she gave Duncan a hug and told Jaime she’d text him when she was done. 

“Have fun,” Jaime said, his voice polite yet curt, then turned to walk to his car with Duncan. 

Brienne got in her own car to drive to the coffee shop, wondering again if this might be a mistake.

Coffee with Alyn turned out to be surprisingly enjoyable, and although there was no real spark there, he was sweet and a great conversationalist and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know her. They sat at the coffee shop for two hours talking, and he didn’t look incredibly bored when she went on an accidental tangent about Duncan’s swimming events. When she walked out of the coffee shop, she felt oddly positive, though she wasn’t sure if it was at the prospect of having a new friend or something more.

That week at school, Brienne and Alyn’s interactions were more or less the same as they’d been before, so she was slightly surprised when he asked her out for dinner the following weekend. She’d enjoyed herself at their coffee date, and though she didn’t have any romantic feelings for him right now, she could see herself possibly developing them over time. 

Their first date hadn’t had the desired effect of causing Jaime to fall on his knees before Brienne and confess his love, and she felt somewhat ridiculous for thinking it would have in the first place. She wasn’t going to wait around for him in case he truly didn’t have feelings for her, and who said she wasn’t allowed to have fun and feel desired? So she agreed to dinner after making sure Jaime was available to watch Duncan. 

If Jaime was upset, he hid it well, but she did notice he was a little more aloof toward her than normal and found ways to spend time with just Duncan, taking him to a restaurant for their weekly dinner and to another movie. He didn’t hang around after dropping Duncan off, and only texted her when it concerned his plans with Duncan. She wasn’t sure if he was trying to give her more space because she was dating now, but she didn’t like it.

After her third date with Alyn, Brienne walked into her apartment feeling a little sad and bone-tired, yet sure she did the right thing despite the difficulty in the moment. 

All through dinner, she tried to concentrate on Alyn, but couldn’t stop thinking about Jaime. Even though she still saw him almost as much as she normally did, she  _ missed _ him. She missed his jokes and good-natured ribbing and sitting next to him on the couch while watching Duncan’s favorite shows. She missed talking to him about Duncan’s school projects and upcoming swim meets and feeling like she had a true partner in raising him.

And when Alyn leaned in to kiss her at the end of the night, all she could think was that it wasn’t him she wanted to be kissing. She was too old to spend her time away from her son with someone who didn’t set her soul on fire and too old to keep her desires hidden, consequences be damned. It wasn’t fair to Alyn, either, who deserved to be with someone who could give him everything, and she knew she couldn't do that with her confusion over Jaime hanging over her head.

Brienne shut the door quietly behind her and removed her jacket, greeting Jaime in a voice she hoped didn’t reveal the tornado of emotions swirling inside her. She had no idea how this was going to go, but she  _ had _ to try. She had to know if she needed to move on for good, or if Jaime might return even a fraction of the affection she held for him. 

“Hey,” he said from his perch on the couch, with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “How was it?”

“Fine,” Brienne said automatically, pulling her scarf from around her neck. She stopped, held the scarf in both hands and stared down at it. “Actually, no. It wasn’t fine.”

Jaime was on his feet in a second, taking two large strides before he was in front of her. He touched her elbow lightly. “Did something happen? Did he…”

“No, no,” Brienne interrupted. “Nothing like that.” She looked down at the scarf while she twisted it in her hands. “I told him I couldn't see him anymore.” She met his eyes then, her heart pounding. “I told him I’m in love with someone else.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ARE THINGS FINALLY HAPPENING?? Stay tuned.  
> Thank you once again to SDWolfpup for helping me resist my baser instincts and making this story so much better!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne and Jaime finally work some things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've left you hanging off the cliff long enough!  
> This chapter is NSFW 😏  
> 🎼 _Return of the smut_ 🎼

Jaime’s eyes widened and he drew in a breath. He didn’t say anything for what felt like forever until he dropped his eyes to Brienne’s hands and hooked one finger into the scarf she was trying her best to demolish. 

“Do I...know this person?” His voice was a low rumble as he pulled the scarf through her hands, letting it float onto the floor next to him.

“Pretty well,” Brienne managed to say, although it came out as more of a squeak. She stared down at her fists, which she held in front of her as if the scarf was still there. Jaime took a step closer, close enough that her knuckles brushed against his shirt, and she willed herself not to step backward as he encroached into her space. She was sure he’d be able to see her pulse pounding under her skin.

Jaime brought a finger to her chin and tipped her head up. When their eyes met it was like a bolt of lightning zinged between them, and it knocked the air out of her lungs. 

“Brienne,” he breathed, stroking his thumb along her chin just below her bottom lip. Her hands had somehow fisted themselves in his shirt, and she pulled gently to close the remaining distance between them. Her eyes fluttered shut at the closeness of him, the warmth of his breath on her jaw and his body against hers. His hands came to rest feather-light on her hips, her skin ablaze under his fingertips. 

“Is it Tyrion?” he said quietly in her ear with a wry edge to his voice.

Brienne expelled a puff of air along with her startled laugh and leaned back to look at him again. “Jaim–”

Before she could finish admonishing him for joking at a time like this, his mouth was on hers. She tensed up for a moment, a small yelp of surprise escaping before she practically melted into him, her hands clutching at the hard curve of his waist. She swayed, almost dizzy from the relief of finally feeling his lips, his hands, his body again. 

Jaime tangled a hand in her hair and pressed her head closer, his kiss becoming more insistent, more desperate. Her mouth opened to him and when their tongues touched, a jolt of electricity zinged through her body that made her knees weak. She moaned and sagged against him and his arms tightened around her, pressing the entire length of his body to hers. With every slide of his tongue, every movement of his fingers in her hair, she was a little more convinced this was real – that Jaime had kissed her and she was kissing him back, and that even if he wasn’t in love with her, he still physically wanted her, at the very least.

Kissing him felt so good, so right, that she forgot to breathe momentarily and had to push away from him to gasp for air. Brienne stared into Jaime’s wide, hungry eyes, felt his chest heave under her hands as he sucked in breath. She wanted nothing more than to drag him down to the ground and take him right there in front of the door, but instead she pressed her forehead to his and tried to ignore the feel of his pelvis notched against hers as she spoke.

“We should probably talk.”

Jaime bit his lip and groaned. “You’re right,” he conceded in a low, rumbling voice, but only pulled away after giving her earlobe a nip that sent fire racing up and down her spine. He threaded his fingers in hers and pulled her to the couch – the very same couch she’d fantasized about making use of with Jaime in numerous ways, but it wouldn’t do to think about that now. She sat, her fingers still intertwined with his, and took a deep breath to calm her racing heart.

“So.”

Jaime chuckled softly, his thumb brushing against the back of her hand. “So.”

“Can I assume from that kiss that you might feel the same?”

Jaime let go of her hand and cupped the back of her neck. “Brienne. If you haven’t figured out by now that I'm in love with you, I worry about your mental capacities.”

“Jaime!” she gasped, even as her chest filled with warmth at hearing those words. She smacked him lightly on the shoulder. “You never said anything - how was I supposed to know?”

He shook his head in disbelief. “Why do you think I've been keeping away these past few weeks? I couldn't stand the thought of you with another man, but I knew it was my fault for not saying something sooner. And why do you think I insisted you sleep in bed with me that night? And sat with you for hours on end at Duncan's swim meets when he swims for two minutes total?”

Brienne blushed at her obliviousness. “I thought you were just being nice.”

“You should know by now that I’m not nice.”

She laughed, which made him laugh, his wide grin and sparkling eyes lighting up his face. She gave in to the urge to kiss him again, gentler, slower this time, as if they had all the time in the world.

“We really did this backwards, didn’t we?” he said when they broke apart.

“Very backwards,” she agreed. “So what now?”

Jaime looked thoughtful. “Well, I think we have two options. I can either be a gentleman and woo you like I would if I hadn’t already gotten you pregnant, or…” his voice lowered to a dangerous rumble, “I could take you into your bedroom and show you how much I’ve thought about you over the past 12 years.” 

Brienne’s body pulsed with want, telling her one thing, but her rational mind told her another. She placed a hand on Jaime’s thigh and met his heated gaze. 

“I don't need to be wooed...” Jaime's eyes grew wide and eager, and he started to pull Brienne closer before she pressed a hand to his chest to stop him. 

"But. We need to talk to Duncan first. I don't really want him to find out by you strutting out of my bedroom in the morning - because I wouldn't be able to let you go home if I got you in my bed."

Jaime dropped his head to her shoulder and groaned in frustration. "You're right. Again." He brushed his stubble over the juncture of her neck and shoulder, chuckling at the shiver it elicited. "But I have a feeling he’s not going to be surprised.”

She leaned back to look at him. “No?”

“He did ask me why you were going out with another guy when you liked me.”

Brienne groaned in embarrassment and covered her face. “He did? I swear I never told him anything.”

“He’s a smart kid.”

“Smarter than me. I never should have let Margaery and Sansa talk me into going out with someone else.”

“Ah, so it was their idea,” Jaime nodded.

“They said I needed to make you jealous so you’d tell me how you felt.”

“And instead I was stubborn and forced you to be the one to admit it.”

“Yeah, that didn’t work at all like I expected it to.”

Jaime brought his hand to her cheek. “But we worked it out. Eventually.”

Brienne smiled and pressed her lips to his, meaning for it to be quick and sweet, but her hands and tongue had other ideas. She was seconds away from straddling him on the couch when her senses came back to her and she managed to pull away.

Jaime looked at her with eyes like black pools, biting his swollen lip. “I agree that we need to talk to Duncan. But I'll remember what you said about not letting me out of your bed. You could even tie me to it if you wanted to."

Before Brienne could change her mind and drag him bodily into the bedroom, she stood and pulled him up. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and her cheek pressed against his as if it was the most natural thing in the world. 

They just stood there for a minute, their bodies perfectly aligned, his hands warm on the small of her back. Brienne inhaled deeply of his neck, his earthy, natural scent beneath the spicy yet not overpowering aroma of whatever cologne or body product he used. An extremely domestic thought popped into her mind of showering at his place and using it afterward so she could smell like him all day. 

She was getting ahead of herself, though - they hadn’t even discussed what, exactly, _this_ was, although she doubted it would be just fucking after they’d declared their love for each other. But the realization dawned on Brienne that she’d never actually had a real, adult relationship - Hyle was the closest thing to it, and after that, a string of tepid month-long flings and a few sex-only liaisons to scratch an itch her toys couldn’t manage. 

She felt suddenly nervous, and Jaime must have felt her tense, because his hands began to soothe up and down her back.

“Hey,” he said quietly, his breath tickling her ear. “This is going to be good for us. Nothing is going to change, besides that I get to fuck you now.”

Brienne chuckled in his ear even as heat coiled through her body at his words. “Quite presumptuous of you, Lannister.” She leaned back to look at him, serious now. “But what if things _do_ change? I’m not exactly old hat at this relationship thing.”

Jaime raised his eyebrows. “Do you think I am? You’ve gone on three more dates in the past few weeks than I have in years. We’ll figure it out together.” 

“And Duncan will always be number one. No matter what happens between us.”

“Of course.” The warmth in Jaime’s voice swelled and settled in her chest. She kissed him again, committing to memory the feel of his lips, the firmness of his body, the press of his fingertips at the small of her back. There was so much she’d missed the first time, and she was determined to not let any of these little details escape her again.

“I get to do that whenever I want,” she said with wonder, cupping his face in her hands and stroking the stubble lining his jaw.

Jaime went back in for another kiss, a little deeper this time, nipping at her bottom lip and darting his tongue out, the smile she felt on his lips revealing that he knew exactly what he was doing. “And I get to do _that_ whenever I want,” he said slyly after pulling away, leaving Brienne burning hot and slightly lightheaded. 

She narrowed her eyes at him, his face so beautiful yet so insouciant. “Don’t you dare do that in public. Weren’t you just leaving?” She couldn’t help the small smile that played across her face even while chiding him. 

Jaime laughed, a bright, clear sound that Brienne had already come to adore. “I suppose I was. But you know...you _could_ let me make you come once before you kick me out. I bet it wouldn’t take me more than 10 minutes.”

Brienne raised an eyebrow and glanced at the clock - it was still early for a weekend, although Duncan had been in bed for over an hour, and her body was wound tight as a bowstring from the events of the night. Jaime licking his lips and staring at her with a wicked look in his eye crumbled her already weak resolve. 

“Okay,” she said, a hint of challenge in her voice. “You're on.”

Jaime let out a low, eager growl and hoisted Brienne up by the thighs, coaxing her legs around his waist. She yelped in surprise and gripped his shoulders, not at all used to the feeling of being lifted or carried. He traversed the handful of steps over to the couch with surprising ease, depositing Brienne down and kneeling in front of her. 

Brienne could feel her flush spreading down from her cheeks to her neck and chest, her nipples hard against the silk of her shirt. Wet warmth pooled between her legs as Jaime nudged them apart with his shoulders. He ran his hands up her thighs and gripped her hips, pulling her roughly to the edge of the couch. She grabbed his face and kissed him with none of the gentleness or sweetness found in their earlier kisses, just pure, unadulterated _want_. Jaime moaned into her mouth before moving his lips down her jaw, neck, collarbone and chest, his teeth on her nipple through her shirt making her squirm. 

His hands worked at the button of her pants and Brienne’s hips canted up reflexively to allow him to slide them down her legs. He sucked on the flesh of her inner thigh and her mind went blank, nothing but the feel of his mouth on her skin. Her hips rolled, desperately seeking friction, until he slid her underwear to the side and darted his tongue out onto her wet folds. 

She felt the contact like an electric shock and bit her bottom lip to stifle a whimper. Jaime looked up at her, the sight of his head between her legs possibly the sexiest thing she’d ever seen.

“Can you be quiet?” he said softly, his breath on her cunt making her shiver. Brienne nodded and brought a hand to her mouth, biting down on the flesh under her thumb. Jaime watched her lips wrap around her hand with a hungry glint in his eye, then returned his tongue to her. He licked her up and down slowly a few times before teasing at her clit with firm, quick movements. 

She moaned under her hand, her hips bucking toward his mouth. All the times she thought about him over the years, all the fantasies that kept her company on lonely nights, didn't compare to the feel of his tongue rediscovering her, of his stubble grazing the soft skin of her inner thighs. She’d been wet and aching since the first time he kissed her tonight, and although she stubbornly didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of being right, she was definitely not going to last longer than 10 minutes. 

Brienne’s body shuddered and shook as he licked and sucked at her, seeming to either remember or instinctively know everything she liked, and before long she had to grab a pillow from the couch to bite down on as she came undone. She somehow suppressed the wail that threatened to escape, instead muffling a high whimper into the pillow. Jaime continued his ministrations as she came down, finishing with a long, soft lick and a strangely sweet kiss to the top of her mound before sliding her underwear back into place.

He rose up on his knees with a shit-eating grin on his face and leaned in toward Brienne, whose head lolled back and limbs practically melted into the couch. She couldn't even be annoyed with him when he’d just given her the most intense orgasm she’d had in years. She still gasped unevenly as she struggled to calm her racing heart. 

“You win,” Brienne said breathlessly. She looked down at his tented jeans and reached out toward him, but he wrapped his fingers around her wrist and moved her hand to his face instead.

“I'll take a raincheck on that. You should get to bed. You look exhausted.” He winked and pressed a kiss to her lips, one that made her face flame despite the chasteness of it, because he smelled and tasted of her. She held him close for a while, his arms wrapped low around her waist, hers around his shoulders, the fingers of one hand running through his hair. 

“I should get going,” Jaime said into her shoulder after some time. Brienne nodded and hummed “mhmm” but squeezed her arms tighter around him, relishing his groan when she increased the pressure of her nails on his scalp. Reluctantly, she loosened her grip, laughing at the creak of Jaime’s knees as he stood. He offered his hand, without which Brienne may not have been able to get up, with such little strength left in her body. She rose, pulling her pants back up and following him to the door on shaky legs. 

“Can you come over again tomorrow?” she asked as he shrugged his jacket on. “To talk to Duncan, I mean. Not…” Brienne stammered and looked behind her toward the couch, which she would never think of the same again. “Unless you want to.”

Jaime cocked his head and gave her a half-smile. “Brienne. Just assume that yes, I want to. But we don’t have to rush anything. We have time.” 

Brienne furrowed her brow. “Didn’t you just offer to fuck me all night?”

“That I did,” Jaime chuckled. “But first things first, we tell Duncan. Then…” he trailed off, her mind filling in the blanks with increasingly lewd scenarios.

“Then,” she agreed. 

He cupped her face and kissed her sweetly, pulling back to rest his forehead against hers. 

“I love you, Brienne.” 

The happiness that flooded through her was nearly overwhelming, so much so that tears threatened to prick at her eyes. Out of all the possible scenarios of this night, she still couldn't believe this was the outcome. He loved her, wanted her still, wanted to be with her as much as he wanted to be a father to Duncan. 

“I love you, Jaime.” His answering smile lit up his face. If this was what it felt like to love Jaime, she would never get enough.

She kissed him once more and guided him to the door, worried that if he stayed too long, she wouldn’t be able to let him leave.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sweet dreams. But only about me,” he said with a wink, walking out the door, then turning on his heel to press one more kiss to Brienne’s lips. She laughed and watched him go, leaning against the door frame with an unabashedly goofy smile on her face. When he was out of sight, she walked back into her apartment. Her waking thoughts were already consumed by Jaime - there was no way her dreams wouldn't be, too.

\--

The next morning, as Brienne laid in bed reading and waiting for Duncan to wake up, her phone dinged. She picked it up from her bedside table - it was a picture from Jaime. Opening the attachment, she immediately blushed from hairline to chest. 

It wasn't just a picture but a shirtless selfie with the message " **Good morning** 😏." Jaime leaned back on his pillow, one arm bent behind his head, obviously flexing his biceps, his chest hair and the valley between his pecs visible. His skin glowed bronze against white sheets and his hair was mussed in that annoyingly attractive way she thought only happened in movies. Worse still, his eyes were hooded and his bottom lip was trapped between his teeth. He looked like he’d just come, and warmth flooded her body with the remembrance of last night. She was glad he wouldn't be able to tell how flustered she was via text and tried for a tone of nonchalance. 

> _Are you sexting me, old man?_
> 
> **I don't think this counts as sexting…unless you send me a sexier picture back.**
> 
> _Not a chance._
> 
> **I was told girlfriends are supposed to send their boyfriends sexy pictures.**

Brienne's heart jumped at his use of the title.

> _Is that what we are? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Sounds a bit…juvenile, don't you think?_
> 
> **What would you rather I called you? My "lover"?**
> 
> _Ew. Definitely not that._
> 
> **Baby mama?**
> 
> _NO! Besides, I've been your baby mama this whole time.  
> _ _I don't mind being called your girlfriend._
> 
> **Well good. Because I'm going to be telling everyone.**   
>  **Especially my dad. Maybe he'll finally get off my back.**

Brienne laughed and stowed the thought about his family away for another day just as she heard Duncan come out of his room. 

> _Duncan's awake - I should probably go. What time are you coming over today?_
> 
> **Is now OK? I was thinking now.**
> 
> _Eager, are we? I'm sorry to burst your bubble but we're not fucking immediately after this conversation._
> 
> **Hey, maybe that's not why I'm eager.**   
>  **I'm ready to start our life together.**   
>  **Oh gods, that was so corny. I'm cringing. Can I unsend that?**

Brienne, now sitting up in bed, covered her face and _giggled_ , a giddy, effervescent sound she wasn't aware she was capable of. 

> _Nope. I’ve already screenshotted and saved it for posterity.  
> _ _But don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me._
> 
> **So kind of you 😘**
> 
> _Wow, all that and kissy faces too? Lucky me.  
> _ _Alright I really have to go now - I’ll see you later.  
> _ _😘😘_

Brienne got out of bed and padded out to the kitchen, where Duncan was already pouring himself a bowl of Dragons & Stars.

“Good morning,” she said as she started to make coffee.

“Morning,” he said around a spoonful of cereal.

“How was your night with Jaime?”

“Good. We watched _Return of Goldenhand_.”

“Oh. Hey, he’s going to come over again today. We want to talk to you about something.”

Duncan looked up from his bowl. “Are you finally getting together?”

Brienne made a choked sound of surprise. “What makes you say that?” she stammered out.

“Mom, I’m not dumb. I know how people act when they like each other.” He went back to crunching on his cereal, leaving Brienne leaning against the counter, slightly dumbstruck that it was _that_ obvious.

“Well...yes. Just act surprised when we tell you later, okay?”

“Okay,” he shrugged, then went back to eating.

Brienne laughed and shook her head, amused at both Duncan’s nonchalance about the whole situation and her own obliviousness. She drank her coffee, put two pieces of bread in the toaster, then sat and watched the news while waiting for Jaime to arrive. 

While she waited, a sliver of apprehension crept in about how their lives might change. Jaime had said they wouldn’t, but it had just been her and Duncan for so long, she couldn’t help but wonder if she’d miss it. But then she thought back to her fondest memories of their time so far in King’s Landing – swim meets, ice cream trips, dinners of pizza in front of the TV – and all of them included Jaime. They’d already had countless conversations about parenting, about discipline and rules and expectations, and found that they were in agreement about nearly everything (barring a slight conflict regarding Duncan’s allowance). Even her preternaturally anxious brain couldn’t imagine how Jaime’s increased presence would make their lives anything but better.

She was finishing up her toast in the kitchen when the knock came on the door, followed by Jaime swinging the door open. He’d long ago started letting himself in, but today, it felt different. Like this was his home too. 

Jaime chatted with Duncan a little before sitting on the couch a respectable distance from Brienne, then patting the space between them for Duncan to sit. Brienne cleared her throat and began. 

“Jaime and I wanted to talk to you about something.” She then looked over at Jaime, imploring him to continue. He pointed at himself with a quizzical look, and she waved her hand in a “keep going” gesture. 

“Your mom and I…” Jaime began, uncharacteristically hesitant. “We’ve decided to be...a couple. Together, I mean.” He cleared his throat. “Romantically.”

Duncan looked at him stone-faced for a second, then slapped his hands on his cheeks and formed his face into a look of exaggerated surprise, his mouth in an O and eyes cartoonishly wide. “Wow! I can’t believe it!” he said in a sarcastic voice, then dropped his hands. “Sheesh, finally,” he muttered, shaking his head.

Brienne and Jaime locked eyes for a moment, silent before bursting into laughter. Jaime wrapped his arm around Ducan’s shoulders and ruffled his hair, causing Duncan to slap his hand away playfully. Brienne relaxed into the couch and watched Jaime and Duncan play-fight. When they’d decided to settle down, she asked, “Well, now that that’s over, what should we do today?”

Jaime looked out the window at the sun streaming down. “It’s pretty nice out. We could go to the zoo or the park or something.”

“Zoo!” Duncan exclaimed, already hopping off the couch and running to his room to get changed. 

Brienne turned toward Jaime, eyebrows raised. “The zoo? We’re really going all-in on the traditional family outings right away, huh?”

Jaime smiled that off-kilter smile she’d grown so fond of. “I told you. I’m ready to start our life together, traditional family outings included. Besides, you already know about my secret corny side, and you love me anyway.”

She pulled his face to hers and kissed him, sweet and soft. 

“Yes,” she smiled. “That I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Sheesh, finally."_ <\- Duncan is all of us.  
> Another YUGE thank you to sdwolfpup for the beta!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A second first time, and a big step for their family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is deeeeeefinitely not safe for work.
> 
> We have a final chapter count, folks! The end is nigh!

> _Hey. Guess what?_
> 
> **Hmm. You’re not wearing panties?**
> 
> _🙄 You have the mind of a teenage boy, I swear.  
>  _ _No, Duncan’s friend from school asked him to stay the night Saturday.  
>  _ _So, I thought, maybe you'd want to stay the night here?_
> 
> **Aha! So I wasn’t the only one thinking about sex.**

Truth be told, Brienne hadn't _stopped_ thinking about sex in the nearly two weeks since she and Jaime had begun officially dating, solely because they hadn't actually had any yet. For reasons she couldn't quite articulate, she wasn't yet comfortable with having Jaime stay the night while Duncan was there, and there was no way she was having sex in her living room with her son sleeping a few feet away. They'd only been able to sneak a few minutes here and there of fully-clothed heavy petting on the couch after Duncan went to bed and before Jaime had to leave, which left her feeling like a sexually frustrated and extremely horny teenager. 

It didn’t help that Jaime had somehow managed to become even more handsy than usual, touching her constantly, pressing against her unnecessarily in the kitchen or sliding his hand across the small of her back or running his toe up her calf under the table. It wound her up to the point that any contact would send a violent shiver up her spine, which made him laugh under his breath and double down on his efforts. She’d actually had to replace the batteries in her vibrator from all the use it had gotten since.

So when Duncan asked her about the sleepover, her mind immediately conjured a scene of candles and rose petals and Jaime laid out on the bed before her like a buffet. She hoped Duncan didn’t notice her fierce blush and agreed to let him sleep over, pending a phone call with the boy’s parents. 

As soon as she told Duncan he could stay, she’d texted Jaime. 

> _No, you weren’t the only one thinking about sex._
> 
> **Tell me more.**

Brienne’s face heated. She hadn’t totally warmed to the idea of sexting, but Jaime brought out a different side of her, one that wasn’t embarrassed to share her fantasies and desires. 

> _I was thinking about you coming over Saturday. Dragging you down to the ground in front of the door and riding you right there._
> 
> **Not if I turn you around, press you against the door, and fuck you from behind first.**
> 
> _You think you’re strong enough?_
> 
> **I’d give it a try. But either way, I’d win.**
> 
> _So does that mean you can come?_
> 
> **Oh, I’ll come.  
>  ** **And so will you.  
>  ** **Many times.**
> 
> _You talk a big game, Lannister._
> 
> **I can back it up. You’ll see.**

For all of her boasting and teasing, when the knock on the door came Saturday evening, she froze, her nerves stretched oddly taut. It wasn’t like they hadn’t done this before - Duncan wouldn’t exist if they hadn’t - but it felt different now, like the stakes were higher. What if her mid-30s mom body wasn't attractive to him anymore? What if the chemistry they’d had 12 years ago somehow disappeared? What if he was disappointed? She had no logical reason to think any of that would happen, but couldn’t help worrying anyway. 

Jaime hadn’t let himself in like usual, so she went to the door and swung it open - he was leaning against the wall, a plastic bag from a drugstore in one hand and a plastic-wrapped bouquet of lilies in the other. He wore his black leather jacket with a white t-shirt underneath, worn-looking jeans and sneakers, and a half smile on his face. 

Although the sight of him had become common enough lately, the air still punched out of her lungs. He walked through the door and handed her the flowers, shrugging almost sheepishly as he did so. “I had to go to the store anyway, so I picked these up. It’s cheesy, I know.”

Brienne kissed him quickly when she took the flowers, his lips warm and soft. “I love them. Thank you.” She felt grateful for the momentary distraction of finding a vase to put them in, giving her jangling nerves a chance to settle. 

She filled the vase with water and stuck the flowers in, then went back out to the living room where Jaime was still standing, a small cardboard box in his hand.

“I didn’t know if we needed these…” he said, holding the box up.

Brienne smiled. “That was thoughtful. But I have an IUD. And I haven’t been with anyone unprotected since...”

“Since me?” Jaime said softly. She nodded. “Me either.”

Before Brienne could really grasp the implications of that, Jaime unceremoniously tossed the box over his shoulder, where it hit the dining table with a rattle. They both laughed and, with the strange tension between them dissipated, moved toward each other, Brienne’s hands cupping the back of Jaime’s neck and his arms wrapping around her waist. Their mouths met in a slow, deep kiss, their bodies warming and melting into each other like hot wax. Brienne pushed Jaime’s jacket off his shoulders and let it fall to the floor, pulling him in even closer to feel the heat of his body through his thin shirt. 

Jaime’s tongue slid into her mouth and his hands roamed from her waist downward, giving her backside a squeeze and pressing her body to his, letting her feel how hard he already was for her. He kissed and touched her until she was panting and rolling her hips into him, her hands traveling beneath his shirt to feel his heated skin. Jaime traced his tongue along her jaw and nipped at her earlobe, sending a frisson of heat between her thighs. She seriously considered dragging him down and fucking him right there on the floor, but this felt like a first time, and she wanted it to be a little more special than that. She used all her remaining willpower to pull away and take his hand, leading him toward the bedroom. The floor could wait.

Once in the dark bedroom, Brienne pulled him into another kiss and walked him backward until her knees hit the bed, drawing him down on top of her. He rolled them over so that she straddled his hips, then sat up and delved his hands under her shirt, groaning when he felt nothing underneath but skin. Brienne shivered as he traced his fingertips from her back around to her ribs and brushed the bottoms of her breasts, then she whined when he pulled his hands back. 

Jaime reached over and turned on the lamp on her bedside table, prompting a puzzled look from Brienne. “I want to see you,” he said in a thick, gravelly voice.

Brienne crossed her arms in front of her in a protective gesture. “I’m not 24 anymore…”

Jaime reached for her wrists and gently pulled her arms down to her sides. “And I’m not 36 anymore. Brienne, I didn’t even know you then and I wanted you. Now that I really know who you are...there’s nothing under those clothes that could make me want you less. Unless you’ve, I don’t know, grown alien tentacles or something.”

Brienne smiled wryly, never more appreciative of Jaime's singular ability to disarm her. “Some people are into that.” Jaime laughed and reached for the hem of her shirt again, looking up at her, waiting. She nodded and raised her arms over her head, allowing him to pull her shirt off and throw it to the side.

Brienne resisted the urge to cover herself, instead allowing Jaime’s eyes to take in all the changes in her body from the past 12 years - the breasts that were a bit lower, the belly that was rounder and softer, the stretch marks like silver threads above her hips. Instead of disappointment, Brienne saw wonder in his eyes, and lust, and something even deeper and more primal than that. 

Jaime brought his hands up to her face, ghosting his fingertips over her cheeks and along her neck, her collarbone, the soft skin at the tops of her breasts. “You don’t know how many times I’ve thought about this moment. About seeing you like this again. You’re perfect.” 

Brienne inhaled sharply, overwhelmed with appreciation and love for Jaime and unable to find the words she needed. She closed her eyes to hold in the tears pricking at them, cupped his face and pressed a deep, impassioned kiss to his lips. She pulled his shirt up and off, desperate to feel more of his skin, and he shuddered when she scratched her nails through the coarse hair scattered across his chest and down his stomach. His skin glowed in the low light of the lamp, the muscles in his shoulders and chest bunching and releasing as he leaned back on his elbows. 

He flashed a grin as he watched her eyes rove over him. “See. Not 36 anymore.” 

Brienne rolled her eyes, laughed at the hiss that escaped him when she dragged her fingernails over his nipples. “You know you’re still gorgeous.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “Am I?” 

"Oh shut up." She shook her head in fond exasperation before pushing him down and leaning over to kiss him, a breathy moan escaping her lips when the sensitive skin of her nipples brushed against his chest. They rolled again, Jaime settling between Brienne’s open thighs, their pants doing little to prevent them from feeling each other’s heat and hardness. She wrapped her legs around his waist and ground against him, desperate for friction, Jaime’s hand gripping her hip like a vise and his moan hot in her ear. 

He crawled down her body, moving his mouth to suck on her neck, her collarbone. She cried out when his tongue flicked out over her hardened nipple, grabbed his hair when he closed his mouth around it. Her cunt throbbed and ached, but she tried to put that aside and let it sink in that this was actually happening. The man she’d been fantasizing about for 12 years, the man she’d fallen in love with, was in her bed, licking his way down her body, pulling her pants and underwear off, placing indecent open-mouthed kisses along her inner thighs. 

By the time his tongue finally brushed her wet folds, she was quivering with need. She swallowed the cry that erupted from her mouth at the first pass of his tongue along her cunt, but then remembered she didn't need to. She let them go, loud and unrestrained, and Jaime's moans against her vibrated through her core and made her want him even more. 

As good as his mouth felt on her, her inner walls fluttered impatiently, desperate to be filled by him. She reached down and lifted his head up, meeting his eyes that were black and sharp in the lamplight. “More of that later. Right now, I need you inside me.”

Jaime growled and nipped her inner thigh before prowling back up her body. She reached down and unbuttoned his pants, hooked her thumbs into his underwear and slid them down. He kicked them both off and hovered over her on all fours, brushed her hair away from her face, and looked at her with awe. 

Her hand skimmed along his cheek, pleasant pinpricks from his stubble stinging her fingertips. "I need you," she whispered. " _Jaime_." He hissed when she ran her fingertips along his shaft, then guided him to her entrance. She was wet and open for him and he slid inside her slowly, slowly, their eyes locked in an intense gaze. 

Brienne fought the urge to squeeze her eyes shut and throw her head back; she needed to see his face as he murmured her name and slid further into her. She forgot how to breathe for a moment, her body and heart so full of the sensation of him. When he was fully sheathed inside her, she clamped her hands down around his hips, not ready for him to move yet, a feeling of _complete_ and _home_ and _mine_ radiating through her. 

She wondered vaguely why she’d ever been worried about the chemistry between them as he started to move inside her. Their bodies fit perfectly together, their movements fluid and graceful, nothing like the frantic anonymity of their first time. Every thrust of his hips, every touch of his fingertips, every brush of his mouth against her skin was like a lightning bolt through her body, and judging by the noises coming out of him and the way he seemed to be straining to keep control, he felt the same. 

Brienne wrapped her legs high around his back, the new angle brushing a spot inside her that hadn’t been touched in so long. She yelped and dug her heels into his ass, urging him deeper, harder. It only took a few more thrusts for her to build to an explosive climax, her whole body shuddering and shaking as she clenched and released around him. 

“Gods, Brienne,” Jaime rasped into her ear as she cried out and arched into him. “You feel so good. Even better than before.” 

He slid one hand under her lower back and hooked the other hand over her shoulder, giving him more leverage to bury himself deeper inside her. Before her first orgasm was done, she felt another approaching, pleasure spiraling up her spine and winding through her body. “Jaime,” she pleaded, not quite sure what she was asking for. “ _Please_.”

Jaime snapped his hips harder, his thick length filling her, until another spasm of pleasure wracked through her body. His hips stuttered and, with one last long stroke, he pulsed hot inside her and threw his head back, roaring into the ceiling. Their moans and gasps mingled in the air until Brienne’s body went slack, her legs falling to the bed and her hands resting on the sweat-slicked skin of his back. Jaime collapsed on top of her, his breath sharp and ragged against her neck. 

They breathed together until their chests stopped heaving, until Brienne had enough strength in her limbs to bring her hands to his head and scratch her fingernails up and down Jaime’s scalp. “Mmmmm,” he murmured into her skin. “You're incredible.” He mouthed her neck, sending a shiver up her spine before shifting off her, keeping their limbs intertwined. 

Brienne rolled onto her side and burrowed her head into Jaime’s chest, felt his heart thumping under his ribs. She _should_ have felt entirely wrung out, but enveloped in the heat of his body with his now-familiar smell drifting around her, she was amazingly still hungry for him. Her hands roamed idly over his skin, sweeping up and down his back and over his ass, giving it a pinch and laughing when he jerked in surprise.

Jaime pulled her closer and brushed his fingers along her side, raising goosebumps wherever he touched. Brienne’s body buzzed, her hips rolling toward him of their own volition, her cunt still wet and wanting despite coming twice just minutes ago. 

"One downside of not being 36 anymore - I don't bounce back quite as fast," he said in a low rumbling voice, sucking her earlobe into his mouth, dragging his teeth along it before releasing it. "But I could get back to what I was doing before you so rudely interrupted me earlier." 

"You didn't seem to mind at the time," she said teasingly, though her voice caught when he tongued her earlobe again. 

Jaime rolled her onto her back and nudged her legs open with his knees, sat back on his heels and stared at her with wide dark eyes. She no doubt looked a mess - hair plastered to her forehead, makeup smudged, face red, lips puffier than usual. But the way Jaime looked at her, spread out on the bed for him, she felt more desirable, even beautiful, than she ever had. 

Jaime kissed and licked her thigh, her hip, worshiping his way to her center, slipping his hands under her ass and lifting her entire lower body up to his mouth. Her hands flew to his head, her fingers tugging as he feasted on her. “ _Oh_ ,” she mewled, raising up on her toes to press her cunt closer to his tongue, his noises sending shockwaves through her body. He lapped at her like her was dying of thirst and she was a spring, his fingers digging into her hips harder when she moaned his name. When her legs began to shake, he closed his lips around her clit and sucked, lightly grazing it with his teeth, shattering her completely. Pleasure surged out from under his tongue and undulated through her, her cries echoing off the ceiling. 

After the explosion subsided, Brienne untangled her fingers from his hair, surprised that he hadn’t complained of pain with how tightly they were gripped. She pulled Jaime’s hands out from under her and lowered her hips heavily. “Holy fuck,” she gasped, her head still thrown back on the pillow. Jaime chuckled, crawled back up the bed and laid next to her, propping himself up on his elbow. He looked positively obscene, lips red and swollen and chin glistening with their moisture.

“Must have been good to bring you to that level of vulgarity.”

Brienne filled her lungs and exhaled heavily, smiling at him through half-lidded eyes. “I’ll give it to you, you are _really_ good at that.” 

Jaime’s mouth quirked up at the corner. “You can have it any time you want. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of the way you taste.” He licked his lips and her stomach swooped, the blood rushing to her face despite just having had his tongue inside her.

She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him half on top of her, her eyes drooping shut under the comforting warmth and heat of him. “You’ll be ready again in the morning, right?” she muttered, resting her hands on his upper back. 

“I could be ready again in a few minutes, but I think _you_ might need until the morning.”

She grunted in objection, but he was right - she was so relaxed that she could barely move, her mind quickly slipping into a comforting darkness. She whispered, “I love you,” and thought she heard him say it back before sleep claimed her.

Brienne woke to the dim, early-morning sun coming through her window and Jaime’s warmth at her back, the fronts of his thighs pressed against the backs of hers, a hand splayed out on her stomach, breath tickling the hairs at the nape of her neck. The last time she’d woken up with Jaime, she was struggling to hide the nature of her feelings for him and doubting that he felt the same. The time before that, she ran away without as much as leaving her number, changing the course of both of their lives forever. A sense of relief washed through her that this was only the first of many times she’d wake up with him and be able to let him know, through words and actions, what he meant to her.

She scooted closer to him and felt him half-hard against her backside, a drowsy “mmm” vibrating out of him. He moved his hand up to cup her breast, his thumb and forefinger rolling her nipple into a hard point. His mouth and tongue at the juncture of her neck and shoulder drew a gasp from her, and she arched back into him to find him fully hard now, his hips rocking as insistently as hers.

Brienne swung one leg over his and reached down to line him up, sighing with relief when he slid into her. Jaime clutched her to his front, thrusting shallowly, Brienne rolling her hips and grinding against him just where she needed it. He plucked at her nipples before moving his hand down, his fingers massaging her clit, pushing her over the edge. Her climax rippled through her, a slow, gentle wave of pleasure, and he came moments later, buried deep inside her, moaning into her shoulder. Jaime gripped her hip and clung to her long after their hearts stopped racing and their breaths calmed, long after he softened enough to slip out of her.

“I love you,” he whispered into the back of her neck, and she interlaced her fingers with his and brought their hands to her heart. _I could stay here forever_ , she thought. _I'm never leaving again_. She felt so close to him, so full of love for him, that her body couldn’t contain it. Unbidden, a tear rolled from the corner of her eye and dropped onto Jaime’s arm where it lay under her head.

Jaime rolled her over and tipped her chin up, a slightly frenzied look on his face. “Hey, no no no, those aren’t bad tears, are they?”

Brienne blinked another from her eye and brought her hands up to his face. “No. They’re happy tears. I promise.” She sniffled, feeling a little ridiculous. “I’m just happy. I love you.”

Jaime brushed the tear away with his thumb and kissed her on the forehead. 

“I love you,” he repeated. “I think we should move in together.”

Brienne raised her eyebrows, not expecting that to be the next subject of conversation. “Oh.”

Jaime propped himself up on his elbow. “Tell me if it feels too soon, but I want you and Duncan around as much as possible. And then we could fuck any time we wanted to. Clearly this place won’t work, because if you’re going to be that loud...”

She slapped his chest lightly. “Excuse me! You were louder than me.” She rolled onto her back and looked up at the ceiling. “It’s been a long time since I lived with anyone other than Duncan.”

He stroked the back of his hand up and down her side in a soothing motion. “It’s been a long time since I lived with anyone, period. But I’m serious about wanting us to be a real family. We could start fresh, somewhere new. Somewhere with thick walls.”

Brienne smiled up at him. She was usually so cautious about these types of things, but something about Jaime made her feel certain it would all work out. She nodded. “That sounds nice.”

***

“Jaime, this is...”

Brienne hesitated as she craned her neck to look around the massive loft in downtown King’s Landing Jaime had brought her to, all glass and exposed brick and metal with a ceiling so high she wouldn’t be surprised to see a bird flying around up there. 

Jaime sighed and slumped dejectedly next to her. “It’s not right, is it?”

Brienne smiled apologetically and shook her head. They’d been house hunting for months now – although Jaime had more or less moved into their apartment, there was no denying they needed more space. Duncan was getting bigger and demanding more privacy by the day, and the thin walls and proximity of the two bedrooms was a definite issue. Jaime’s apartment had never been an option, as it was one of those ridiculous bachelor-pad studios with floor-to-ceiling windows and a bed in the middle of the room. 

They’d seen single-family homes, apartments, lofts and condos, but they hadn’t been able to agree on any. It was easy to forget on a day-to-day basis how differently she and Jaime had grown up, but every time he turned his nose up at a perfectly good place because it wasn’t new enough or wasn’t in the right area of town or was too small for his liking, Brienne was reminded that he’d never had to settle for anything in his life. It was the first big thing they’d ever really disagreed about, and when she’d finally blown up at him, he reminded her gently she didn’t have to settle anymore, either. 

Jaime had made it clear that money was no object when it came to finding them a perfect home. Brienne had protested and said she wanted to be an equal contributor to the purchase, but Jaime explained that he had a trust from his mother that he’d barely touched in twenty years, and she would have wanted him to use it for his family. Brienne felt slightly manipulated by his play of the dead mother card, but she knew deep down he wouldn’t offer anything that he didn’t truly want to offer. He’d also assured her they would be equal co-owners of the property and they’d have a lawyer draw up papers specifying what would happen if, gods forbid, things between them didn’t work out. He was so good at assuaging her fears that she actually didn’t feel guilty anymore about looking at houses that would have been a pipe dream before.

Despite all that, the sheer number of houses they’d seen was starting to get overwhelming. Even the usually-unflappable Jaime was starting to get frustrated, and Brienne was worried their real estate agent, a sweet woman named Jeyne recommended by Sansa and Margaery, was going to drop them as clients. 

She grabbed Jaime’s hand and twirled him around to face her. “Hey, why don’t we take a little break from house-hunting? I know our home is out there. Maybe we just need to relax and let it come to us.”

Jaime groaned. “I just want us to all be together.”

“So do I. But I don’t want to get so burned out that we end up settling for something that‘s not right. We can make do in the apartment for now. Maybe get a white noise machine,” she smirked.

Jaime tucked a hair behind her ear and smiled. “You’re right. As always. But you know...” He looked around the empty loft. “We _are_ alone in here…”

Brienne squeaked in indignation. “Not a chance! Jeyne would kill us if she knew we were defiling her listings.”

“Alright, alright,” Jaime laughed. “But Duncan’s still at practice for another hour...we should get home and make the most of it.”

The low rumble of his voice sent a shiver through Brienne. She didn’t need to be told twice - she turned toward the door and pulled Jaime along with her, laughing as their steps echoed off the walls.

***

A few Fridays later, Jaime picked Duncan and Tommen up from school to take them horseback riding - Duncan had decided he wanted to give it another try, albeit on a calmer horse. Brienne took advantage of the free afternoon to walk through one of her favorite parts of town, a neighborhood of leafy boulevards at the base of Visenya’s Hill, a few blocks from her school. The day was cool and comfortable, the sun dappling the sidewalks and front yards of the charming townhomes lining the streets. Brienne had always loved these homes - they were historic yet well-kept, with none of the generic feel of newer builds - but the prices had been decidedly out of her range. Until now. 

So when she saw a “For Sale” sign in the yard of one of those charming townhomes, her heart sped up. It had a red brick facade with white windows and a small porch on the first level. Brienne gave into her curiosity and walked up the brick path to the front steps and then around to the side of the property, peering over the fence into the backyard, trying to be as inconspicuous as a six-foot-plus blonde woman could be in case there were still people in the house. It looked beautiful from the outside, and as though it would be big enough for their needs, so Brienne took out her phone and snapped a few pictures to send to Jaime. 

The following week, Brienne, Jaime and Duncan met Jeyne at the house for a walk-through. Brienne felt strangely nervous, her belly fluttering with anticipation. She wanted this house to work out so badly, both because she’d fallen in love with it already and because she was so eager for them to finally be together. 

Jeyne unlocked the door and swung it open with a flourish, holding it for the three of them to enter. The space was all well-kept dark hardwood floors and arched entryways, decorative crown molding and ornate woodwork. The first floor, which looked like it had been recently updated while keeping the character of the original, opened into a large space for a living room, dining room and kitchen, with a fireplace and a light-filled breakfast nook at the back. The second floor contained a large master bedroom suite and a den, and the third had two additional bedrooms and a bathroom. Duncan immediately claimed the larger of the upstairs bedrooms for his own, and Brienne had already begun arranging their furniture in the various rooms. 

Jeyne prattled on about the features of the house, the updates made by the previous owners, but Brienne’s mind wandered to all the memories they’d make here - cooking dinner together, playing games and watching movies in the living room, and partaking in...other activities in her and Jaime’s shared bedroom. Her face must have flushed when Jeyne showed them the master bathroom with its huge bathtub, because Jaime looked over at her and smiled a sly, knowing smile. She shot him a warning look and pinched his side. When he laughed, the warm sound flowed through the space in a way that made her breath catch. _This is the one_ , something inside her said, and she knew it referred equally to the man and the house.

After the tour they walked back down the stairs and gathered at the front door. “So, what do you think?” asked Jeyne.

Brienne and Jaime just looked at each other, matching grins on their faces, then turned to Jeyne. “We’ll take it,” they said in unison, prompting a whoop from Duncan and (unless she imagined it) a relieved sigh from Jeyne. Jaime gathered Brienne and Duncan into a hug, and Brienne felt as though she could almost cry from the relief. 

They were finally home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This ](https://cdn.decoist.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Pops-of-yellow-create-a-carefully-curated-look-inside-the-home.jpg)is what I imagine Jaime’s bachelor pad studio apartment looking like. Except douchier. (He didn’t decorate it.) 
> 
> [This](https://cdn.decorpad.com/photos/2014/05/06/a89572bc0627.jpg) is what I envision for their house, except detached so there’s an actual side/backyard.
> 
> All thanks and praise to sdwolfpup.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life gives Brienne _a lot_ to think about.

Brienne paced around the house, picking things up and putting them back down, sweeping invisible crumbs off counters, fluffing the pillows to within an inch of their lives. They’d been in the house for two months now, and though there were still a few things that needed to be hung on walls and some furniture that needed to be purchased, they’d settled in quite comfortably. It helped that the Lannisters seemed to have an entire retinue of employees for this very purpose - movers, interior designers, contractors, and the like - that, Jaime assured Brienne, were very well compensated so she wouldn’t feel guilty about calling on them for help.

She normally wouldn’t have been so concerned about getting settled in, but her father was coming to visit for the Long Night and she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. She hadn’t seen him in person since she and Duncan had moved – his commercial fishing business kept him busy right up until the holidays, when he took his only vacation for the year. This year, she’d convinced him to come to King’s Landing, hence her anxiety. This would be the first time he’d be meeting Jaime in person, even though she’d introduced them via video call. She’d also done a fair bit of explaining to her father why she effectively lied to him about Jaime all those years ago, but she could tell he was still unsure about Jaime’s virtue.

Brienne was wiping down the same spot on the counter for the tenth time when Jaime came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Careful, that’s a brand new counter. You’re going to wear a hole in it,” he said into her neck. She put the cloth down and turned in his arms, leaning back against the counter and relaxing some despite her keyed-up state.

“I’m just nervous for my dad to get here. I want him to agree that I made the right choice by moving to King’s Landing.”

“Are you happy?” Jaime asked as he rubbed soothing circles into her lower back.

“I’ve never been happier.”

“And is Duncan happy?”

“He seems to be.”

“Well, your dad will see that, and he’ll know you made the right choice. Just relax and enjoy his visit. If anyone should be nervous, it’s me.”

Brienne chuckled. “You’re Jaime Lannister. Nothing scares you.”

“EVERY man is nervous meeting their girlfriend’s father for the first time, no matter if they're 15 or 50. If they say they aren’t, they're lying.”

“My dad can be a little slow to warm up to new people, so just give him some time. He’ll come to love you just like I did.” She kissed him, quick at first, but he pulled her back in for a slower, deeper one, his tongue flicking out to tease along her bottom lip. Brienne’s body responded in kind and she was seconds away from desecrating her spotless counter when she heard Duncan’s heavy footfalls on the stairs. She gave Jaime’s lip one last nip and pushed away from him, composing herself before her son walked into the kitchen.

“Ready to go pick up grandpa?”

“Yep,” Duncan replied, fiddling with the earbuds that had recently become permanent fixtures in his ears. Brienne shot him a warning look, not the first he’d gotten on the topic. “I’ll take them out when grandpa gets in the car,” he sighed, slumping toward the front door.

Brienne grabbed her purse and keys. “We’ll be back soon. You sure you don’t want to come?”

“Nah, I want to give you three some time alone.” He gave her a quick kiss and a swat on the ass for good measure. “See you when you get back. I’ll be ready to face my doom.” Brienne smiled and kissed him one more time before walking out the door.

When Brienne pulled up to Arrivals at the airport, she spotted her father right away - his snowy-white head bobbed above all the others waiting outside, and his bright blue coat stood out in a sea of black and brown. She broke out into a grin and put the car in park, hopping out to wave him down. She hadn’t realized how much she missed him until she saw him in the flesh again. “Dad!” she called, waving one arm above her head as if she had to make herself taller to be noticed.

Selwyn’s face lit up when he saw Brienne, and he lumbered his large body over to her as quickly as he could while pulling his wheeled suitcase. “Starlight!” he boomed, embracing her in one of his rib-cracking hugs.

“My boy,” he said fondly when Duncan stepped out of the car, hugging him tight before holding him out at arm’s length and looking him up and down. “You must have grown three inches since the last time I saw you! Put on a little muscle too,” he said, squeezing his upper arm. Duncan smiled sheepishly and took Selwyn’s suitcase around to the trunk.

“How was your flight?” Brienne asked once they were back on the road.

Selwyn grumbled, his dislike of flying well-known in their family. “Cramped, uncomfortable, expensive. The usual.”

“Dad. It’s an hour flight. But the next time you visit, you can take a boat instead.”

“If I can sit without my knees being up to my chin, I’ll take it.”

Brienne laughed at the gruff front he put up, knowing the soft heart that lay underneath. Selwyn asked Duncan about school and swimming, and the two of them chattered the whole way home, giving Brienne a chance to practice her speech before they got to the house.

When they pulled into the driveway, Brienne told Duncan to go in ahead of them and turned to her father. He had the same look on his face as Duncan did when he was waiting for a lecture.

“Dad. Jaime is inside and he’s really nervous about meeting you, so please go easy on him. Remember, it wasn’t his fault he wasn’t around when Duncan was little. It was mine.” She’d meant to stop there but the words kept pouring out of her. “And he’s a really good guy. The best, actually. He treats me so well, and he’s such a good dad, and Duncan worships him. Just, please. Give him a chance.”

Selwyn waited until she was finished, then bellowed out an incredulous laugh.

“Brienne, what did you think I was going to do to the poor lad, threaten him with castration? You’re an adult, and I hope I raised you well enough to know when someone’s good for you. If you say he’s a good man, then I believe you.”

Brienne exhaled in relief and hugged her father around his neck. “Thanks, Dad.”

“I missed you, Starlight,” he said as he released her, bringing a hand up to her cheek. “But I’m happy you’re happy.”

Brienne felt her eyes get shiny and pushed his hand away. “Alright, you’re gonna make me cry. Let’s go inside.”

Selwyn chuckled and followed her up the steps, inspecting the brickwork and testing the lock on the front door. He stopped inside the entryway and looked around appraisingly, nodding in what looked like approval.

Jaime came to greet him, wiping his palms on his jeans before holding out his hand. “Mr. Tarth.”

Selwyn raised an eyebrow and took Jaime’s hand in one of his meaty paws, pumping it firmly. “You’re the father of my grandson and living with my daughter. You can call me Selwyn.”

Jaime inclined his head with a smile and took Selwyn’s coat and suitcase. Brienne didn’t miss his relieved exhale when Selwyn turned to walk farther into the house. She patted his back comfortingly and followed her father, pointing out interesting features of the house and areas that still needed work.

Jaime cooked a big dinner that night of roast chicken and vegetables, potatoes and rolls, all of which met Selwyn’s approval. “Where did you learn how to cook, son?” he asked between mouthfuls. Brienne realized she’d never asked him that, so she listened to the answer intently.

“I taught myself through cooking shows and WeirTube videos after graduating college,” he laughed. “I got sick of takeout and felt pathetic having my dad's chef deliver all my meals. It took a lot of burned pans and emergency pizza orders, but I got there."

Selwyn nodded and grunted in what Brienne thought was approval before asking Duncan about his math and science classes.

Jaime had to go to the store for firewood after dinner, and to Brienne’s surprise and slight concern, Selwyn invited himself along. Brienne wasn’t sure what Selwyn would want to talk to Jaime about in private, but she hoped it wasn’t anything she’d be too embarrassed about when Jamie told her later.

She breathed a sigh of relief when Jaime and Selwyn walked back in a short time later both smiling, carrying firewood and an assortment of cocktail supplies. They passed a pleasant evening in front of a roaring fire reminiscing about Long Nights past, including the years Brienne insisted on making homemade presents for her father despite having no artistic ability or craft skills to speak of.

“So, what did you and my dad talk about on your errand?” Brienne asked Jaime as they were getting ready for bed after making sure Selwyn was settled into the guest room.

“Oh, the usual. He asked me about my family, my job, and when I was planning on proposing to you.”

Brienne nearly choked on her toothpaste. “I’m sorry, what?”

Jaime laughed, clearly not as bothered by Selwyn’s meddling as she. “Yeah. Just snuck it in there in between regular small talk.”

“So...what did you say?”

“I told him we hadn’t talked about it yet.”

Brienne cocked her head. “Yeah, I guess we haven’t.” She leaned against the counter and watched him moving about the room, smiling when he pulled his shirt off and took care to throw it _in_ the hamper rather than on the floor _near_ it. Living with him had proved surprisingly easy - they’d each had to work on little things that annoyed the other person, but Brienne found that making Jaime happy didn’t feel like work at all.

“Well, do you want to?” Jaime continued. “Talk about it, I mean?”

“Do you want to?”

Jaime smirked. “I asked you first.”

“I don’t know,” Brienne shrugged. “It kind of already feels like we’re married, doesn’t it? It would just be a piece of paper at this point.”

Jaime crossed to the counter and wrapped his arms around her waist. “But if that piece of paper is important to you…”

“Maybe it will be someday. Is it important to you?”

Jaime looked thoughtful. “I’m happy with what the three of us have now, but I wouldn’t mind making it official someday. Let’s get through our first few months of living together before we make any rash decisions.” He smiled and pinched her waist.

“Deal.” Brienne kissed him, his lips perfectly soft, his bare arms warm upon her skin. She was still awestruck by the way heat coiled through her body every time they touched. She reluctantly pulled away from him to finish getting ready for bed, and her dreams that night were haunted by swirls of white silk.

They spent the two remaining days before the Long Night doing the traditional activities Brienne grew up with, including lighting the ceremonial candles, decorating the outside of the house with hundreds of lights to be left on all night on the longest night of the year, and walking around looking at their neighbors’ light displays. When they got back to the house, Jaime made a fire and they gathered around the fireplace to exchange gifts.

Brienne got her father warm wool socks and a sweater for the cold tuna fishing season coming up, and Jaime a new watch to replace the one he lost in the move. Brienne got a set of pajamas from Duncan (which Jaime no doubt helped him pick out) and a beautiful pearl bracelet from Jaime, to remind her of Tarth, he said.

Brienne opened her presents quickly, impatient for Duncan to open his gift from her and Jaime at the end. Months ago, when he first brought up wanting a VisionBox, Brienne had all but told him he was never getting one because they were too expensive and too much of a time suck. But after talking it over with Jaime, they decided that since he’d done so well in school and athletics this year, it wouldn’t hurt to splurge a little on him.

When he ripped the paper off the box, his eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open, and the look of wonder and excitement on his face made all the uncertainty worth it. She did lay down a few ground rules (no games before homework being the major one), but she felt so grateful to be able to give him this gift he both wanted and deserved.

While he and Jaime were setting it up in Duncan’s bedroom, she and her father cleaned up the wrapping paper and cut slices of dark chocolate cake for everyone.

“Dad,” she said as they plated the cake. “Did you really ask Jaime when he was going to propose to me?”

Selwyn huffed a laugh next to her. “Figured he would tell you. I was just curious, is all.”

“What if we never got married? Would you be disappointed?”

“It’s not about me, Starlight. But there's a certain...security that comes with marriage. It might not change a lot, but being bound to someone in the eyes of the law and the gods is pretty special. There’s a reason I never got married again after your mother.”

Brienne pondered his words as she bustled around the kitchen.

“I just want you and Duncan to be happy,” her father continued. “And it seems like Jaime makes you both pretty happy. Why not lock it down, as the kids say.”

“Oh, my gods,” Brienne laughed. “You are 70 years old. Please do not try to talk like a kid.”

“I am a young and spry 68, thank you very much!” he said with mock outrage. “I wouldn’t mind the chance to walk my only daughter down the aisle, though.” He winked and took two plates out to the living room, where Jaime and Duncan were stoking the fire.

The rest of Selwyn’s visit passed far too quickly - Duncan taught him how to play one of his new VisionBox games, and it was all she could do to tear them away to show her father around King’s Landing. They said goodbye at the airport with a promise that they’d visit Tarth in the summer, and returned to a house that was quieter but somehow felt a little empty without her father’s big presence.

Their conversation about marriage stuck in the back of her mind long after Selwyn was gone.

“Does it bother you that Jaime and I aren’t married?” she asked Duncan one day on the way to school.

He raised his shoulders up to his ears. “I don’t know, not really I guess. It bothers me more that he’s not technically my dad.”

Brienne whipped her head around in surprise. “What?”

“I found my birth certificate in some papers when we were moving. Jaime’s name’s not on it.”

She turned her eyes back to the road. “No, I guess it’s not. But you know he’s your dad, right?”

“Yeah, I know. I guess it just feels weird that it doesn’t say that anywhere.”

Brienne nodded and hummed in agreement, thinking about it throughout her workday and through until the night.

She did a little research and found that it wasn’t that difficult to get a father’s name added to a birth certificate. All they would have to do is have Jaime sign a form that acknowledged paternity and fill out one other form to correct Duncan’s birth certificate, but she had a feeling that even if it _was_ difficult, Jaime would walk through fire if it was what Duncan wanted.

A few days later, Brienne pulled a thin envelope from the Westeros Security Administration out of the mailbox. She’d talked to Jaime about it, then Jaime had talked to Duncan about it, and there had been no question that they’d do it. Much to Duncan’s feigned embarrassment, Jaime and Brienne had decided they wanted to make a big deal out of it by going to the WSA office together to pick up the new birth certificate and then go out to dinner afterward to celebrate.

As much as Duncan pretended to be mortified by his parents’ insistence on commemorating the occasion, he couldn’t hide his huge smile when they received the new birth certificate with Jaime’s name in the “father” space.

Jaime threw his arm around Duncan as they walked out of the building, Brienne following behind and observing them. Duncan had shot up in height over the last couple of months, his head now an inch above Jaime’s shoulder, and his back was broadening and gangly limbs filling out with muscle from all the hours in the pool. He was definitely not her baby anymore, and he was barely even a kid anymore - a thought which made Brienne immensely proud, but also a little sad.

She watched Jaime lean over and kiss Duncan on the head. “Love you, son,” he said, as he had so many times before, but this time Duncan said back, “Love you, Dad.”

Brienne clutched her hands to her heart, feeling thankful she was behind them so they couldn’t see her eyes well up. If she noticed Jaime’s eyes looking a little wet when they got in the car, she didn’t mention it.

They were finishing up their celebratory dinner when Brienne heard her phone buzz in her purse. She decided to leave it for after they were done, but when it didn’t stop buzzing, her curiosity got the best of her. She pulled her phone out of her purse and saw two missed calls from Sansa and Margaery, and one text message.

_THE BABY IS COMING!!_

Brienne gasped and covered her mouth. “What’s wrong?” Jaime asked, his face full of concern.

“Oh, nothing’s wrong!” Brienne reassured him, her excitement evident in her voice. “Marge and Sansa’s baby is on the way!”

“Well, go call them!” he said, pushing her gently out of the booth.

Brienne rushed out to the parking lot of the restaurant and called Sansa. She answered in one ring, sounding a little breathless. “Brie! We’re on our way to the hospital. Aly’s water broke! The baby’s coming!”

“Oh, I’m so excited for you two!”

“I’m terrified!” Sansa said with a slightly hysterical giggle.

“You will be so great. And you know I’m here to help. Just keep me posted if you can? But don’t worry about it if you’re too caught up in everything.”

“Of course. Marge is freaking out a little bit less right now so, between the two of us, we’ll update you.”

“Okay. I’ll be thinking about you and Aly and hoping everything goes well. I love you and I’m so happy for you.”

“Love you too. Aaaaah! We’re gonna have a baby! Okay, bye!” Sansa shrieked before hanging up. Brienne laughed and walked back into the restaurant where Jaime and Duncan were leaning back in the booth holding their stomachs and groaning about how they shouldn’t have finished two desserts. Jaime looked at her expectantly as she slid back into the booth. “They’re on their way to the hospital. They said they’d keep me updated.”

“That’s exciting.” He draped his arm over her shoulder and nuzzled her cheek as if he’d missed her in the two minutes she was gone. They paid the bill and left for home, Brienne’s memories of the night she went into labor flooding back in – the fear, the anxiety, the worry, and the overwhelming joy of holding her son in her arms for the first time. She wondered how different it would have been with Jaime there; imagined there would have been a little less of the fear and anxiety and a lot more of the joy.

Brienne checked her phone first thing the next morning and saw two text messages.

_It’s a boy! Eddard Tyrell Stark. Eddie for short. 💕💕💕_

The next was a photo of a pink, wrinkly infant in a tiny blue and pink striped cap, his face squished against the chest of the person holding him. Brienne audibly cooed, causing Jaime to roll toward her and peer over her shoulder. She held her phone up to him, and he murmured “sweet” against her skin, peppering kisses along her shoulder and arm. She fired off a quick reply to Sansa, asking for them to let her know when they’d be ready for visitors, before her mind went blank as Jaime’s mouth moved from her shoulder to her neck.

Brienne received a few more pictures over the next two days – one of Sansa holding the baby with a huge, sweet smile on her face, one of Eddie looking incredibly tiny in his carseat getting ready to go home from the hospital, one of him looking even tinier in the middle of his crib. The most recent one was a picture of Eddie’s face, his eyes open and alert, with the caption _Come over, Auntie Brienne!_ _I want to meet you!_ She smiled and texted back, _Tell your moms I’m on my way!_

She grabbed her keys and purse and was walking out the door when her phone buzzed again. She took it out and read the text from Margaery.

_Jaime is welcome to come meet the baby too. If he’s not still mad at me for the whole “dating someone else” idea._

Brienne laughed and went to find Jaime. He and Margaery had become unexpectedly friendly over the past few months, bonding over their shared love of sarcasm, good-natured ribbing, and talking smack about the King’s Landing society set while on double dates or get-togethers at one of their houses. Jaime was more enthusiastic than she’d expected about the chance to meet the baby, so a short while later, they sat on the couch in Sansa and Margaery’s apartment, little Eddie snuggled up on Brienne’s chest.

“Do you miss it?” Sansa asked as she prepared a bottle. Margaery had escaped upstairs to take a shower, Brienne smiling at the memory of how good that first shower had felt after bringing Duncan home.

“Having a baby this small? Oh, I don’t know. I can’t even remember Duncan at this age. They’re a lot of work, but it _is_ nice to be able to cuddle them whenever you want.” She rubbed her cheek over Eddie’s downy head, his tiny body warm against her chest. The baby squirmed and sighed before settling again, and Brienne’s heart twinged. She looked over at Jaime, who was studying the baby intently. “Do you want to hold him?”

His eyebrows ticked up, and he looked unsure for a moment. “I don’t even know if I held my niece or nephews when they were this little,” he said, and the old guilt flooded back in that Brienne had deprived him of knowing Duncan as a baby. She carefully placed the baby in his arms, supporting Eddie’s head in the crook of Jaime’s elbow. Jaime settled back into the couch and looked down at the baby, gently stroking his tiny head with his hand. “It’s so soft,” he said, smiling up at Brienne. She smiled back even though she felt inexplicably melancholy.

Sansa brought the bottle over to Jaime and handed it to him, showing him how to get the nipple situated in his mouth and how to make sure he didn’t eat too fast. Brienne told Sansa to sit down and got up to wash bottles. She glanced at Jaime every so often and saw him talking softly to Eddie, burping him every few minutes like Sansa showed him, looking more and more comfortable the longer he held the baby. The twinge in her heart expanded to a full-blown ache.

They stayed until Margaery and Sansa had both had showers, with Jaime and Brienne taking turns holding the peacefully snoozing Eddie. She couldn’t stop looking at Jaime while he was holding the baby, the love in her heart for him somehow growing even though she hadn’t thought it possible.

She was quiet on the drive home, only adding a comment here and there in response to what Jaime was saying. An idea, an absolutely ridiculous, foolish idea, had taken root in her mind, and it grew and grew all throughout the rest of the day and into the night until just before bed.

Jaime was sitting on the edge of the bed, checking his phone before plugging it in, when the words were finally unable to be contained.

“What if we had another one?”

Jaime looked up at her, eyebrows to his hairline. “Another...?”

“Another baby.” Her heart pounded. She sat on the bed next to him and the words rushed out in one breath. “I know it sounds crazy, and I kind of can’t even believe I’m saying this, but today, with Eddie...I _do_ miss it. I _do_ want to do it again, with you. And you looked so happy, and you were so good with him, and I still feel guilty that you weren’t there when Duncan was a baby, and I thought maybe you’d want to...do it with me. From the beginning, this time.” She stopped and waited for Jaime to tell her it was, in fact, a ridiculous idea, but he just looked at her with a fondness that made her breath catch.

“You would do that for me?” He gestured to her stomach. “Go through all of that again, for me?”

“Of course I would. I love you. So much. You are an amazing father to Duncan, and I can just imagine how great you would be with a baby.” An unexpected tear pricked at the corner of her eye.

“But not just for me, right? You want another one, too?”

“Look how great Duncan turned out. There could be another one of him in the world. And I think raising a baby with you sounds...kind of fun.” She laughed a little at the idea, remembering the many times she’d said _I’m never doing this again_ when Duncan was a baby.

“But...I’m so _old_. I’d be the ‘old dad’ at school drop-off and sporting events and graduation. What if I try to play with them and throw my back out?”

Brienne chuckled and swung her leg over his lap, straddling him. “As vain as you are? You won’t let yourself get that out of shape. And I think you’ll secretly love being the silver fox dad at school drop-off with all the young moms tittering over you.” She scratched her fingernails through the graying hair at his temples, which unfairly added to his attractiveness.

He raised an eyebrow. “Silver fox, huh? I don’t mind the sound of that,” he smiled, running his hands up and down her back.

“I really don’t think you need to worry,” she said reassuringly. “You were a natural with Eddie today. And when it’s your own baby...I can’t even explain it.”

Jaime looked at her thoughtfully. “You promise won’t get mad at me when I screw up?”

“Jaime. Parenting is just a long series of screw-ups. I still screw up all the time. All that matters is that you love them and you try your best.”

He smiled softly and pulled her close, pressing the side of his face to her heart.

Brienne ran her fingers through his hair. “So? What do you think?”

“I think,” he said as he lifted his head and began to kiss up and down her neck, “I would love to have a baby with you.” He sucked on her collarbone, making her gasp. “And I think I’ll _really_ love trying.”

Brienne chuckled even as he lifted her shirt and pulled it over her head. “Hold on there, cowboy. I still need to get my IUD removed, and it probably won’t be quite as easy now that we’re both older.”

“Well, we'd better practice then.”

She laughed and rolled him on top of her, sure she'd enjoy practicing just as much as he would.

***

Brienne’s heart hammered in her chest. She paced nervously just outside the bathroom, her hands trembling at her sides. Although this was a much different scenario than when she’d done it the first time, the trepidation and anxiety and nervousness were just as palpable.

It had only been three months since she’d had her IUD removed, but she’d been feeling off for a few weeks, tired and moody and a little nauseated. It could have just been her hormones adjusting to having the IUD out, but she and Jaime had been doing an awful lot of _practicing_ lately, so she bought a test just to be safe.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when her phone alarm beeped, despite being actively waiting for it to go off, and walked into the bathroom where the test was perched on the counter. She took a deep breath and peered over to look in the indicator window.

Two lines.

Positive.

A combination of elation and abject terror washed over her, and she walked out of the bathroom and sat on the edge of the bed, taking slow, calming breaths.

She and Jaime were going to have a baby. Together, this time. She placed her hands on her stomach and laughed, her anxiety and fear pushed to the side by the joy of knowing what was ahead for them.

Jaime came into the bedroom then, stopping and looking at her with a puzzled expression.

The words got stuck in her throat, so she just pointed with a shaky finger to the bathroom. Jaime went in and came back out a moment later with eyes wide as saucers.

“It’s positive?”

She nodded and huffed out a laugh.

“It’s positive!” he repeated, throwing his arms around her and lifting her up, swinging her in a circle as she squealed in protest.

“We’re going to have a baby!”

He put her down, and his face blanched.

“Holy shit. We’re going to have a baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As ever, all my thanks to sdwolfpup for the beta and the cheerleading.
> 
> Picture Brienne doing [this](https://youtu.be/GBwELzvnrQg) as she’s preparing for Selwyn’s arrival.
> 
> The Long Night is a winter solstice type of holiday, so there’s lots of coziness and candles and fires, the houses are decorated in lots of extravagantly bright lights to drive the darkness away, and they give each other presents on the longest night of the year.
> 
> I have no idea how much time has passed since Brienne and Duncan moved to KL so please don’t tell me if the timing of everything makes no sense :)


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne and Jaime's family grows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Labor, childbirth. If you want to avoid that part, skip down to the <><><>.
> 
> Special thanks to ilikeblue for the help with this chapter!

Brienne sat straight up in bed and sucked in a breath. Even without looking at the clock, she knew it was still the middle of the night from the pitch-dark silence of the house. She pressed the heel of her hand to her stomach, feeling the muscles tense. A pinpoint of pain began just above her hip and radiated outward, and she tried to breathe through it like she learned in the childbirth class she and Jaime had taken together a few weeks before.

Next to her, Jaime roused from sleep and sat up, rubbing her back. “Is it time?” 

“Not quite yet. But close.”

Jaime increased the pressure of his hands on her lower back, which made her groan in relief. He’d thrown himself into being a supportive birth partner, attending the classes with her and reading books and watching videos (including one of an actual birth, which had left him pale and shaken for a few hours afterward). Though this pregnancy had been so much more physically taxing and tiring than her first, having Jaime there every step of the way had made such a difference mentally, and she was more excited than nervous about the baby coming. 

He looked at the clock and made a note of the time her contraction started on the notes app on his phone, then returned to rubbing her back. 

After the pain subsided, she felt too antsy to stay in bed, so she got up and paced around, packing and repacking her hospital bag, showering, getting dressed and making her way gingerly down the stairs. All the while, Jaime followed a few steps behind her, recording the times of her contractions and asking if she needed anything and generally clucking over her like a mother hen. She resisted the urge to snap at him, knowing that, if anything, he was _more_ nervous than her, since he’d never been through this before.

Despite not feeling hungry, she made breakfast and had Jaime go upstairs to try to rouse Duncan. His feelings toward the pregnancy had been varied, depending on the day – sometimes, he seemed excited to be a big brother, and at other times she could tell he worried about being replaced (although he never said it in so many words). But even so, he’d insisted that he wanted to be there at the hospital with her, and Brienne felt proud that he wanted to be part of this moment in their family’s life. Not even Brienne’s warnings that it would most likely be long and boring and gross could dissuade him.

Brienne had made every effort to involve Duncan in the pregnancy, from asking him for help picking out decor for the baby’s room, to talking about potential names, to letting him feel her stomach when the baby kicked. She’d also brought him along to Margaery and Sansa’s so that he could interact with Eddie, and after a few visits, he’d become much more comfortable holding and playing with the baby. She still worried about how he would take it when his sibling was actually home and needing nearly all of her attention, but the positive side of him being in his sullen early-teens phase was that he already preferred to spend most of his time in his room or with his friends instead of with her.

Jaime had also been spending extra time with Duncan lately, taking him horseback riding and for ice cream and playing his favorite VisionBox games with him. “We just found each other,” Jaime had said _._ “I need him to know I’m not going to forget about him now.” 

Duncan came down the stairs bleary-eyed with his hair adorably messy, but seemed excited once he’d had time to truly wake up. After Brienne had cooked and cleaned up and done anything else she could to take her mind off what was coming, she sat down on the couch. Jaime sat beside her with his notes app open, recording times and durations, rubbing her shoulders and asking her how he could help. 

“Okay, I think it’s time now,” Brienne said after a particularly long and intense contraction that left her with tears in her eyes. Jaime sprung up from the couch, hoisted both their bags over his shoulder, and grabbed her elbow to help her out as she puffed short breaths through her mouth. Duncan followed behind with his own bag containing books, his tablet, and some homework to keep him occupied at the hospital. She paused for a moment in the doorway and let it sink in that this was the last time they’d be leaving the house as a family of three.

Jaime’s knuckles were white on the steering wheel as they drove through the blessedly empty streets, Brienne’s contractions getting more intense and closer together. Pressure built up at the base of her spine, and she hoped they hadn’t waited too long when Jaime pulled up in front of the labor and delivery entrance. Brienne took his hand to heave herself out of the car and waddled through the doors, Jaime and Duncan on her heels. They took the elevator up to the L&D floor, Jaime squeezing Brienne’s hand reassuringly the whole time, and were shown to a triage room for monitoring. 

“It’s definitely time,” the nurse said with a smile after measuring Brienne’s contractions, and Brienne’s body and mind screamed in agreement. She concentrated on her deep, rhythmic breathing and allowed Jaime to prattle nervously as they walked to the delivery room. Her legs felt like lead and her stomach clenched and relaxed as the waves of pain washed over her and subsided.

Brienne got changed into her hospital gown and sat on the bed in the delivery room while Jaime fussed around her, getting things out of her bag and setting them out on the little table by the bed, and Duncan flopped down on the couch with his tablet. She jiggled her leg and chewed on her fingernail and tried to decide if the pain was bad enough to warrant calling for the epidural.

“Can we go for a walk?” she asked Jaime after the nurse came in to take her measurements. 

Jaime hopped up off the couch, where he was texting Selwyn with updates. “Of course.”

They left Duncan in the room watching a video on his tablet and walked slowly up and down the corridor, Jaime holding on to Brienne’s elbow, inclining their heads at the other couples doing the same.

“So, any final guesses?” she asked him, trying to distract herself from the increasing pain.

“Hmm, I still think girl. You?”

“I really have no idea. It feels different than my pregnancy with Duncan, but I’m also a lot older, so...” She shrugged.

“Well, you know I’d be happy with either, but I would really like to be able to name her after my mom.” 

Brienne nodded. They’d decided on a boy and a girl name several months ago, both drawn from Jaime’s side of the family.

“How are you feeling?” she asked him as they made another loop of the hallway.

“Me? You’re the one in labor right now.”

“I know, but I’ve done this before. You haven't. I want you to feel comfortable too.”

“Honestly? I’m scared as hell,” he said with a weak smile. “For you, for the baby, of being a dad to a brand-new human.”

She squeezed his hand. “You’re going to be so great. And don’t worry about me -- you know I’m strong.”

“I know. It’s one of the things I love about you. But there’s just so much that’s out of either of our control. And my mom…”

Brienne stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned to face Jaime, gripping his biceps. 

“Jaime. Times were different then. I am not your mother, and this is not her pregnancy. Please don’t go down that path.” 

She stroked his face and kissed him quickly before doubling over with another contraction. 

“Okay, I’m done being a hero. Time for the epidural,” she groaned, pulling him back toward their room.

Brienne’s first labor had been quick and intensely painful and somewhat terrifying, but this one was almost relaxing. After the epidural, she settled into the bed with Jaime in the chair next to her. Duncan had fallen back asleep on the couch while they were on their walk. The epidural worked like magic – she still felt the contractions as a point of dull pain, but she breathed through them and concentrated on the feel of Jaime’s warm hand in hers and the sound of Duncan’s soft snores.

Of course, she was still nervous – so many things could go wrong, and she didn’t know how differently her body would handle the labor now that she was older – but a strange sense of peace settled over her as her contractions increased and she got closer to pushing. She was about to bring another human into the world, this time with Jaime by her side.

When it was time to push, Duncan went out into the waiting room. He’d watched a few seconds of the childbirth video with Jaime and insisted he never needed to see that much of his mother. Brienne had been texting Sansa with updates throughout the morning, and she and Margaery were on their way up to the hospital to wait with Duncan until the baby came.

Jaime held one of Brienne’s legs and stroked her sweaty hair back from her forehead and uttered reassuring and encouraging words in her ear. Brienne pushed hard and breathed harder in between, Jaime’s face smiling down at her giving her the energy she needed to keep going through the exhaustion. 

“Okay, one more,” the doctor said from between her legs.

“One more, did you hear that? You’re doing amazing. You’re so amazing.” Jaime squeezed her hand hard and stroked her thigh.

One more push and their baby would be out in the world, where Brienne couldn’t protect it anymore; one more push and she’d finally be able to share with the rest of her family the joy of this little life that had been growing inside her. 

The intense pressure and pain of the last push subsided into a blissful sense of relief when the doctor held the baby up, wrinkled and purplish and screaming. 

<><><>

“It’s a girl,” the doctor said, and Brienne looked at Jaime, whose face was pure wonder and joy. 

“It’s a girl,” he repeated, softly, looking back and forth between Brienne and the baby. 

The nurse cleaned the baby off and wrapped her up in a blanket, then handed her to Brienne. The tears fell freely when she held the soft, warm bundle against her chest and heard her hearty cries. Jaime placed his hand ever so gently on the baby’s head and kissed Brienne on the forehead. “You did so great,” he whispered. “Our daughter.”

“You were right,” she said shakily, smiling through her tears. Brienne sniffled and shifted the now-quiet baby in her arms, offering her up to Jaime. He took her gingerly, her whole head cradled in his hand, and gazed at her face. 

“Joanna,” he said to her softly. “After your grandmother.”

Brienne’s heart swelled watching the first love of her life with her newest. 

Jaime sat down on the edge of her bed and held the baby until the nurse came back in to do the initial tests, then gave her back to Brienne for her first feeding. All the while, Jaime sat on the bed and stroked Brienne’s hair and Joanna’s head and murmured soft words to both of them. 

After Joanna was fed, changed, swaddled, and dozing peacefully in her bedside crib, Brienne texted Sansa and asked her to bring Duncan into the room. A minute later, the door swung open and Sansa walked in first, screeching silently when she saw the baby, followed by Margaery, holding a squirming Eddie on her hip, and Duncan trailing behind. He instantly looked five years older to her then, more like an adult than a kid, and she couldn’t help but burst into tears when she saw him, her first baby. 

She held her arm out and Duncan came to her and hugged her, letting her cry her hormones out on his shoulder for a few minutes before releasing her and peering down into Joanna’s crib. Jaime came to his side and put his hand on Duncan’s shoulder, smiling at him. “Do you want to hold your sister?”

Duncan looked at Jaime, then at Brienne as if to ask permission. She smiled and inclined her head, and Jaime told Duncan to sit on the couch while he picked Joanna up from the crib. He put her gently in Duncan's arms and showed him how to support her head.

"She's so tiny," he said quietly, offering his finger for her to grasp. Jaime sat next to them and put his arm around Duncan, both of them gazing down into Joanna's face. Brienne's tears flowed again looking at the three of them, and her heart expanded in a way she didn't think was physically possible. 

Only when Eddie started fussing in Margaery’s lap did Brienne even remember there were other people in the room. She turned her attention to her friends – Sansa was wiping a tear from her own eye while Margaery was trying to distract Eddie and keep him from a full meltdown. 

“Thank you for coming up here. You two are the best.”

“Oh, we were happy to,” replied Sansa with a smile. “I did want to hold the baby, but I’m not sure I’m going to be able to pry her away from her big brother.” 

As if on cue, Joanna began to squirm and fuss, and Duncan looked momentarily panicked before Jaime laughed and took her from him, passing her over to Sansa, who settled her by swaying and patting her bottom. After a few minutes, Margaery put Eddie down and took Joanna, then crouched down so Eddie could see her. “This is Joanna,” Margaery cooed to Eddie, and he poked her once in the face before losing interest and crawling over to inspect the cords by the bed. 

Brienne felt so completely surrounded by love that the pains in her body and the exhaustion of labor barely even touched her. She knew it would catch up to her eventually, and she also knew they had many difficult days of sleep deprivation and unexplainable crying and mountains of dirty diapers ahead of them, but with Jaime by her side this time, she felt there was nothing they couldn’t conquer together.

The next day, they got Joanna situated into her car seat, which looked enormous surrounding the tiny bundle of her body, and left the hospital. Jaime drove under the speed limit all the way home and darted his eyes to the rearview mirror every 10 seconds or so, prompting Brienne to stroke his arm comfortingly and implore him to relax a little. 

They made it home without incident, and while Jaime got Joanna out of her car seat, Brienne stood in the doorway and took in the sight of her home – slightly messy but so dear to her – and now even more full of love. Duncan came down from upstairs, having been dropped off by Sansa when they were on their way home, and observed Joanna with interest, though he still seemed a little hesitant around her. 

Brienne fed, changed, and swaddled Joanna, and put her down in the little bassinet they’d set up in the living room. She made sure the baby was sleeping soundly before telling Jaime she was going to go up to the bedroom to unpack her bag.

“I’ll go up with you,” he said a little too eagerly and picked up the bag despite her protestations that she didn’t actually need help.

In their bedroom, he set the bag on the bed and began unpacking it. “There’s a little gift for you on your table,” he said, inclining his head toward her side of the bed.

Brienne looked over and saw a small blue velvet box tied with a silver ribbon. Her heart jumped. “Jaime, you didn’t need to get me anything.”

He looked up from his task and smiled. “Just open it.”

She picked up the box, untied the ribbon, and lifted the lid. Inside was the most stunning ring she’d ever seen - a bright blue round sapphire with two smaller diamonds on either side set into a platinum band. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. “Jaime, is this…” she turned and found him on one knee behind her. “Oh,” she breathed, tears pricking at her eyes.

“I was going to wait, but then I watched you give birth to our daughter, and...gods, Brienne, you are the most incredible woman I’ve ever known. I want to spend every minute of the rest of my life with you.” He reached his hand out for the box she was holding. She placed it shakily in his hand as a tear slid down her face.

Jaime took the ring out of the box and held it up in front of him. His eyes sparkled in the soft light of the bedside lamp and he looked at her so fondly it took her breath away. “So, what do you say? Will you marry me?”

“Of course!” she said through her tears, presenting her hand to Jaime.

“Duncan helped me pick it out,” he said as he slipped the ring onto her trembling finger, and she cried even harder.

“My hormones can’t handle this right now!” she said, cry-laughing joyfully. Jaime stood up and she grabbed his face, kissing him soundly, before enveloping him in an embrace she hoped conveyed the overwhelming love pouring out of her.

They stood tangled up in each other until they heard Joanna start to cry from downstairs. “Mom!” Duncan shouted up, sounding slightly frantic. Brienne smiled at Jaime. This was their life now, the parents of a newborn and a teenager, but no matter how crazy it got, they’d make it through together. 

“So, what do you think about a honeymoon in Lys?” Jaime asked. Brienne laughed and kissed him again, her love, the father of her children, and now, her soon-to-be husband.

**Two years later**

“Jaime, have you seen my school bag?” Brienne yelled toward the living room while packing Joanna’s lunch for daycare. Joanna screeched across the house wielding a paper towel tube as a sword and Duncan chased after her, growling like a monster. She and Duncan adored each other, and although his moody teen phase wasn’t nearly over, he’d grown into a truly wonderful young man, smart and kind and always doting on his little sister.

“It’s hanging by the door,” Jaime responded, scooping Joanna up and sitting her on a barstool to put her shoes on before heading out the door to drop her off at daycare on his way to the office.

“Duncan, you ready?” Brienne asked her son, who was now flopped on the couch by the entrance. She would drop him at school before heading to the campus of KLU for her own class, finishing up her first year of grad school. Jaime had encouraged her to finally follow her postponed dream of becoming a university professor, ensuring her his salary was enough for them to live on and supporting her through late-night study sessions and evening classes and keeping Joanna occupied while she wrote endless papers.

They’d gotten married when Joanna was six months old, in a small, beautiful ceremony on Tarth with just their close friends and families. Selwyn still got to walk Brienne down the aisle, but Duncan had been on her other side, and Jaime waited for her while holding Joanna under the arch. The ceremony was quick yet personal, the reception relaxed and charming and full of love, and it was better than anything she’d ever dreamed of.

She kissed Jaime and Joanna goodbye as they hustled out the door and ushered Duncan out behind them, off for another day of work and school, already looking forward to coming back together as a family at the end of the day.

Even if she would have allowed herself to imagine, after that night in Lys so many years ago, what her life with Jaime might have been like, she didn’t think her imaginings would live up to this: her messy, loud, busy, complicated, _incredible_ , real life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are at the end of our journey - and what a journey it has been! I never imagined when I started writing this nine months ago(!!!) that it would have turned into this, and I'm so thankful for every comment and kudo and rec that kept me going.   
> This has evolved from an excuse for our two favorites to bang on vacation to a rumination on women's insecurities about aging and the challenges of reconnecting and the different ways to form a family, and I appreciate all of you who've stuck with me, months-long posting breaks and all.   
> It is definitely the most challenging but also the most rewarding thing I've ever written and I have learned so much about writing from it. It also led me to get more involved in the fandom and get introduced to some wonderful people.   
> Speaking of wonderful people, SDWolfpup - "thank you" doesn't begin to cover it. You came into this halfway through and kept it from becoming more of a meandering mess and I will never be able to express my gratitude for that, and for the support and the cheerleading and in general being a lovely person. Thank you so much for taking a chance on this little fic. XO times infinity.  
> Again, thank you all so much for reading and commenting - you have made this such a wonderful experience. On to the next!


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